Xia Jing and Zhang Zhentian truly cannot understand why their child describes everything as so terrifying, so sorrowful. Can it be that the harm they once caused can never be forgotten? Even now, they don’t know what kind of ending their past actions have led to that would cause everything to continue developing like this.
Perhaps all the wrongdoings they’ve committed don’t even warrant a ntion in their children’s eyes. They once believed that as long as they sincerely kept them by their side, and sincerely returned to repent, staying in this family would allow everyone to forgive them. But now it seems all of this was just wishful thinking; there’s no reason for them to forgive. The behavior they’ve exhibited, the efforts they’ve made, are always seen by their children as the cost of hurting them. Even though they are now making changes step by step, they still cannot et their children’s ideal expectations. They’ve made mistakes, done everything wrong, and should bear all the consequences, but they cannot bear to let all of this beco their deepest pain once again.
Now I just want them to sincerely forgive , to let stay by their side, and not push away once more. Yet, after I’m pushed away, who can understand the pain in my heart, the pain I once caused them, which I’ve now experienced myself? I finally realize how heartless I was, how ruthless, to make those I care about the most beco distant, causing them unbearable pain again and again.
"Actually, both of you are really naive, thinking that every mistake you make can be easily forgiven by others. But really, who in the world would forgive you again and again? You don’t face the consequences of your actions and always expect others’ forgiveness, always yearning for others’ approval. Do you think you have any significance or qualification?
In fact, there is no one in this world who can’t live without soone else. Anyone can live just as well, if not better, after separation. Perhaps you think you can’t survive without each other, but as for , if I leave you, my life may not be worse than it is now. On the contrary, I can chart a different path for myself through my own efforts. I can rely on myself and once again ascend to the peak of my life. You’ve never given any companionship, which I understand because you never knew what companionship ans. But when you repeatedly hurt , treating like a stranger, my heart was conflicted and in pain.
So things I truly cannot forget, nor have I chosen to stay silent. But standing in my position, I have no reason to speak up. No matter what, you’re my parents. No matter what decisions you make, I must choose to forgive you. No child can really resent their parents, because it was their parents who gave them life and everything that followed, even if you never raised .
As I walk along this path again and again, as I step on the road of my life repeatedly, I find that maybe none of my paths are correct. But the only right path is choosing to forgive my parents repeatedly."
Zhang Zhentian knows how this matter has deeply aggrieved his son internally, yet he feels helpless. Since so things he chose to do, he has to see them through, and since he chose to turn this path into the final decision of his life, nothing should change it, no one can alter the decisions he has made.
Perhaps the things he has done in this life have been too excessive, making it hard for everyone to understand why he did it. All he wanted was a simple life.
Even though he’s made countless mistakes in this life, the biggest mistake was hurting his loved ones with re words, turning all the wonderful things into the gravest mistakes.
When those painful worries drown him again and again.
When all those mories co flooding into his mind over and over, the feeling makes him selfish, unable to adapt. Those are the things that erge in his mind. In his heart, he can only walk down his path repeatedly and live happily. Only then will the things he desires not be so difficult. Yet, what has he gained in return? Just repeatedly hurting his family; in other words, he really is nothing.
"Child, perhaps in your eyes, you see as a wicked villain, but I don’t see myself that way.
Do you know? This feeling is especially strong when I’ve abandoned you repeatedly. That’s when this feeling is most apparent because I know I’ve made another huge mistake, and there’s no turning back. I must see this decision through to the end, let everyone know, even if it’s the wrong decision, I will still stick with it!
Even at the end of the road, when every step is wrong, I must still proceed to the end, not for anything else, but to have those who look down on open their eyes and clearly see that everything I’ve done is right, even if I’ve lost everything, nothing remains. Yet, I still hope everyone can be happy, that you have joy, even if this happiness doesn’t co from .
Sotis, I even despise my actions. How could I be so cold-hearted to hurt my family, to force you into this predicant ti and ti again? How heavy was your heart at those tis? I am your family yet chose to bully and abandon you repeatedly. Wouldn’t your heart be in agony, wouldn’t it feel any pain? Yet, facing these outcos, you can only endure, because you have a family like . Maybe having a family like mine is a disgrace to you!"
"You clearly know I never saw you as a disgrace because as my parents I’m still happy. I’ve said countless tis, no matter what, you’re my parents. This cannot be changed, even if you’re absent forever, it’s an unchanging fact, no one can change it.
I only hope that when you make decisions, you consider your aging father. I can understand if you disregard since there’s no deep connection between us, but what about Grandpa? He raised, nurtured you, gave you a life of luxury for decades. Even if in the end, you’re unwilling to stay by his side, shouldn’t you still accompany him, let him enjoy his old age happily?
I can understand; people are inherently selfish and never live selflessly. But in your selfishness, can you still care about your family’s feelings? No matter how selfish you are, he never blas you. In his heart, you’re always his proudest son, but with your actions and words, how can you consider him as your father? You’ve hurt Grandpa deeply with each act and word, do you even comprehend the pain? You haven’t because deep within, only your desires matter. For them, you would go to great lengths and sacrifice anything..."
When soone falls for another, that’s when they lose everything completely. In that mont, they don’t care about your feelings. When a better choice cos, they’ll abandon you without hesitation!
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