Everyone has flights of fancy, dreaming of things that never truly belonged to them, never forgetting, and even if they did forget that day, they’ve only changed their thinking entirely.
"Dad, I’ve already made it very clear. I returned to this family with no other demands. I just hope to live happily and joyfully. Why can’t you even et this simple request?
I really don’t an anything else. I just want to live cheerfully and happily, and that would be enough. Why can’t you try to think from my perspective and consider how miserable and painful my life is?
All I desire is a stable life. Since you all initially agreed to let return to this family, why are you saying these things to now? Where does saying such things leave ?
You know deep down inside the sadness and the pain, but do I not know them too? You’re human, and I’m human. You’re not gods, and neither am I. I’m not a saint either. Why have you never considered how I’ve lived all these years outside from my perspective?
I know you’ve been silently watching my every move, but you’ve never asked to co ho because you’re afraid. Afraid that once I co back, I’ll harm you again. But now that I’m back ho, I’ve ultimately hard you, so you think deep inside I shouldn’t have returned, and you push all the bla onto .
Is this family’s current state really because I ca back? If my return is the reason, then I can leave. I refuse to believe that leaving will make everything perfect like it was before. I will never believe the consequences were my fault. I hope you don’t push all the responsibility onto . It’s not a way to solve the problem. When you push it all on ti and ti again, does my heart feel nothing, truly?
I really can’t do it, because I’m not a saint. What I want is very simple—that everyone lives joyfully and happily. I could give up everything for that, but why won’t you consider how hard my life is from my angle?
Old Master Zhang was so furious with his son that he was speechless. What does it an to say I haven’t considered his feelings from his perspective, that I haven’t thought about his hardships? Have I really had an easy life over the years? Missing her over and over, sending people to protect her secretly repeatedly, tracing his steps ti and ti again, and what has he given in return all these years—only hurt. Leaving aside everything else, just the recent few tis have already brought so much harm and pain. I have never asked for anything else; is it really that my demands were too strict?
"Do you think you’re overthinking? Have I ever said anything to you since you ca ho these many days? Did I give you a hard ti? Ask yourself honestly, how much sadness and disappointnt have you brought to this family over these days, but have any of us blad you? We’ve continued to believe and accept you, because we know everyone has it hard. Living in this world requires bearing a lot of pressure; we understand and sympathize with you. But why can’t you understand our painstaking efforts? Your wife has already turned out like this, and you haven’t cared about her. Yet, here you are arguing with about who’s right or wrong. Are these rights and wrongs really that important? Is your family’s health and wellbeing not important in your eyes? What, in your eyes, is considered a big deal?
Sotis I really want to ask myself, if I were to die right here, would you not even shed a tear? I’m truly afraid if I die here without a single tear, then why have I raised you all these years? Is the person I’ve worked so hard to raise really such an ungrateful person? How can I accept that my heart doesn’t feel unfair?
You should know how much I’ve sacrificed over the years. I also understand how much you’ve sacrificed. Everyone gives sothing, and everyone also receives sothing in return, but how much is returned is not sothing anyone can asure. We each walk different paths, and the results we get are different. You understand this principle better than anyone, so why are you treating like this now? What good does treating this way bring you? Why can’t you consider how much my heart aches and is sorrowful from my perspective?"
"My biological father, are you really my biological father? I never thought you would one day speak such cruel words to . You place all the burdens on . In your eyes, my existence is your disgrace, your sha. Have you thought about whom I should bla for where I am today? At first, when I was shalessly trying to return ho, begging you all, who was it that cold-heartedly shut the door on ? You only focus on my mistakes but never consider the pain you brought . I’ve made mistakes ti and ti again; doesn’t it have anything to do with you?
You’re my father, I know. This fact has always been in my heart, and I’ve never tried to change it, because you are my father, and it makes proud. But just because I am proud doesn’t an my heart can accept all the pain without limits. Have you ever considered how I, as your son, feel deep down? How do you know I haven’t seen my daughter-in-law? I also hope she is well, but so matters are just beyond my control. I am not a doctor, I can’t perform miracles. All I can do is pray again and again for her safety and wellbeing. Isn’t that enough? What else do you want to do? Leave this ho, or perhaps drive myself to the hospital for depression?
I know telling you these words today might make you upset and feel unfair, but now you’ve pushed to this point, and I have no way out. I can only fight back with death, as I refuse to believe there’s no justice. I refuse to believe I have to take all the responsibility for things unrelated to !"
The edge of pain is never self-imposed, but when you reach the edge ti and ti again, you keep thinking about crossing it—finally turning yourself into a life where all pain is self-imposed. You can’t bla anyone else. I’ve already taken responsibility for past mistakes, and now all I want is sothing so simple.
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