Why are people always like this, hurting their most beloved ones over and over again, until they finally leave?
Zhang Zhentian felt that his wife was speaking in anger and perhaps only when he was completely calm could he have a chance to discuss his plans with her.
But he didn’t realize that once she said such definitive words, there was really no possibility left in their lifeti. Why cling to a hope that never existed, praying to others, only to end up with endless pain and despair? Why let oneself be so deeply wounded all over again?
"Initially I thought if only I could see your sincere repentance, maybe I would give you another chance, to stay by your side and never leave you for the rest of my life. But ultimately, I realized that everything was impossible. There was no love in our hearts anymore. We are not suited to live together. Staying together would only bring us mutual suffering. Once we were so deeply in love, but in the end, it was a non-existent lie that you completely tore apart the affection we once had!"
I truly don’t know how to treat you. I’m afraid that if I give you hope, it will only lead to disappointnt again, and in the end, you will still have to face leaving . At that ti, you would suffer once more, a pain far more severe than the first. I cannot bear to see you, whom I love most, endure such harm, yet it seems you have never cared about my inner thoughts. You only care about the interests in your hands, about how great your power is. Your ambition is as big as that. You’ve always disdained , a woman, leading the rcenaries. You always wanted to seize power. If that’s what you desire so much, then take it all. I don’t care about it. What I cared about has long disappeared. You are no longer soone I care about..."
Zhang Zhentian understood that beneath it all, it wasn’t about giving him hope or despair, but about revealing the truth. Only by accepting these truths would he understand their aning. But she still didn’t want to accept these facts because acceptance ant there was no way back to the past. But can there really be a day to return to the past if she doesn’t accept it?
"I don’t understand if I have any place in your heart at all. If I do, please don’t treat like this. The past hurt I cannot undo, but I just want to join hands with you to create a future, to create a world together, living steadily through life. Isn’t that good? Why inflict such hurt on , making suffer endlessly?"
"Was it I who hurt you? When you hurt at the beginning, didn’t you consider how painful my heart would be, the despair, clearly knowing the kind of pain I was facing, knowing I would fall into an abyss after leaving you, but still having to sign those papers? Ultimately leaving you, how do you have the right to say this to now? Don’t you find it laughable? We’ve co to this point because it’s a result of your self-directed actions. Yet you want to bla everything on . Do you think that’s possible?"
"Since you never thought of reconciling with later on, continuing to walk through life hand in hand, why give hope, why drag from hell to heaven only to pull back down to hell, making endure such ups and downs?
You clearly know how much I long to pursue you back, yet you inflict this upon . In your heart, what am I? A pet to be summoned or sothing else, or am I just a stranger without a place in your heart?"
"You wouldn’t believe it even if I said you were foolish. Do you think I gave you hope just to be with you again? I rely let you crawl arduously from hell to heaven, only to give you despair, dragging you from heaven to hell again. You must feel moved by the intense emotional swings, right? I don’t know what you want, but I’m telling you outright, when you asked what you are in my heart, I’ll answer you now: you are nothing. You are not a summoning pet, nor do you deserve to be anything else. You’re not even a stranger to , so just be aware of what we are, no need to say more. Giving you hope is only to let you despair, to let you experience this pain repeatedly so you understand the consequence of hurting . Know what things should be done and what shouldn’t, don’t have any unnecessary obsessions, don’t even let the thought arise. Otherwise, it’ll only end with harm to yourself. Why tear open a scar that’s finally healed, making it bleed profusely again, enduring another wound? Why do these foolish things knowing it will lead to being utterly wounded?"
If it were the old you, you wouldn’t need to do these things. Just a word from you, and I would go through hell and high water, not fearing death. But after seeing your true face, no matter what you do to , I won’t open my heart to you again because you don’t deserve it. If you’re trying to use this to earn my sympathy, congratulations, you’ve succeeded. But I still can’t go back to where we started. The past is gone, irretrievable in this lifeti. So, you must clearly understand, do what must be done, and never do what shouldn’t be done! Especially don’t hurt those who would do anything for you, even give up their life to love you. Because heaven watches with open eyes. If you hurt such a person, it will only end up harming you. The harm would be much greater and wouldn’t lessen at all. Don’t hold lucky thoughts, as heaven won’t let a bad person get away scot-free while living freely—that’s impossible!"
Zhang Zhentian finally understood that the hope his wife gave him was rely to see him fall once more from the heavens of life into the abyss of pain. He could do nothing but silently endure the tornt that this pain brought him...
Perhaps the cruelest thing I ever did was giving my wife hope, only to finally let that hope shatter.
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