Everyone has a stubborn heart, and no one is willing to give up what they care about the most in their heart over trivial matters. But sotis, simple things can turn oneself into a demon, and no one knows what kind of blow one has suffered back then to beco so indomitable.
I rember the mont when I accompanied her, riding through the bustling streets; I was so happy. Perhaps it was truly the ti when peach blossoms were falling all over Yangzhou in March, yet my expression inevitably beca hazy. At the end, I didn’t know if all that was left between us was loneliness, but maybe my thoughts and stubbornness were just too self-binding.
In an instant, a few days had passed, and Old Master Zhang’s pathology report was about to co out. He waited with a sense of hope for a good result. Yet, she was so afraid that this result would cause him to collapse, but there was nothing he could do; many things had to be experienced personally.
After he had lunch, the doctor called her into the office. He imdiately knew the news, unsure of whether to tell or not. If he did, would it create too much psychological burden for the patient? But if he didn’t, how could the patient rest easy without knowing his own illness?
"Doctor, I wish to ask about my health condition. I hope you can be honest, as you were before, without hiding anything from . Because you may hide it from temporarily, but not forever. Regardless of whether the result is good or bad, it’s sothing I should bear. Only by bearing what I must, perhaps a different life can be had.
I am very clear about whether such a result is good or bad. No matter what, I have to take responsibility myself; such a result is what I want. I don’t want to die without knowing the exact cause. I want to die with clarity. You know, I am soone with pride and dignity; these outweigh everything..."
The doctor was very aware, facing such a seasoned old hand from the business realm, that chatting with him was quite humbling.
But the doctor was still very conflicted, unsure of what to do. If he actually went through with it, how could he reconcile it within himself? But this was his Uncle Shi!
"Uncle Shi, since you are so eager to know about your condition, I can only tell you the truth. The result of your tests is sowhat unfavorable; the tumor is confird to be malignant. I don’t know how much ti you have left, but I hope in this final period you can live the life you wish. Originally, you could accept chemotherapy; perhaps there is still a chance for recovery, but this choice ultimately rests with you..."
Although Old Master Zhang had long suspected such a result, hearing it from the doctor still shocked him. He hadn’t expected his originally healthy body to deteriorate to such a state.
"Now that things have reached this point, there’s no point in disregarding it. But I still hope you can keep it confidential and not tell my grandchildren. They have a happy life ahead; why should they beco alard due to the impending departure of an old man like ?
Your father and I are close friends, and you are soone I value greatly. Although over the years we haven’t kept in touch much, I know your father often reached out to . I never replied to him because I understood that sotis silence is the best response. If one day I am gone from you, and you et your father, please apologize to him on my behalf, for I have let him down in all his expectations of !"
"Uncle Shi, don’t say that. There is still hope for your recovery, yet you insist on refusing treatnt. Are you really just afraid that your grandchildren will beco alard if they know about your illness? This is only part of the reasoning. More importantly, you don’t want your son to return ho because of your illness. You have your pride and do not want your biological son to trample on your dignity ti and again. You cannot endure the humiliation brought by your son. If your heart is truly for your son’s good, you should be honest with your family. Although this result may be hard for your family to accept, and they might beco distracted and weary from knowing this, wouldn’t it be better to tell them? Once they know, they won’t be as sorrowful and heartbroken from your concealnt of your illness after you’re gone, right? All they want is for their kin to be by their side, hoping for honesty in all things. However, if you choose to hide it, won’t it beco increasingly hard for them to accept and cause them discomfort?"
"In fact, you should know, once such a thing is diagnosed, my body can only hang on by sheer will to continue living. It’s nothing short of tornt. Such tornt can make a person’s heart fragile, unable to continue living. You know, from the mont I first realized I might have a malignant tumor and might not live long in this world, it was tough to calm down inwardly. Though outwardly I might seem indifferent, inwardly it’s quite different. Who wouldn’t feel vulnerable due to illness, seeking comfort from others? But for the sake of my family’s happiness, I cannot let them suffer. To , their happiness ans more than my health. If I choose treatnt, there’s no way to hide it from my family. I can’t allow my family to endure sorrow because of my illness. I’d rather endure all the suffering alone than let them live in pain and sadness...
If you truly regard as your father’s close friend and consider an elder, please keep this secret for . If this leaks out, my life will beco even more unmanageable. I don’t want my descendants to be overwheld with fear because of the illness of a dying old man like . I can’t let them live so hard, pretending to smile before , while secretly weeping. Such a life is one I’ve lived enough, and I don’t want my descendants to go through this. Even if my son cannot return to see before I die, I’ve accepted it, for all of this is the result of my choice and sothing I must bear..."
Knowing full well no one will look back, yet who can truly remain unswerving from their original intention?
Once certain matters beco settled, one can’t change them, even if they bring the deepest pain. But one must still bury them deep inside, unable to share with anyone.
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