I have inscribed my yearning for you on that piece of rock at the ends of the earth, turning everything that happened between us into mories. So waits cannot be too long; perhaps it has already withered in the heart.
"Dad, I understand now, I completely understand, what was all this for? I now feel that no matter what lies ahead, no matter if the road is full of obstacles, no matter if it is covered with thorns, as long as our family holds each other tightly, never letting go of anyone, then our family can live happily forever."
"It’s good you can understand, but there are things that cannot be spoken to others. As long as we know in our hearts, it’s enough. If we tell others, it might bring unnecessary trouble.
You know very well how hard it is to live in this ho, how many people have been hurt by what we do, shouldn’t we think about whether what we’re doing is really right?
Again and again, we have made unforgivable mistakes. We can only prove with our own ways and actions that all we do is for the good of this family."
"Dad, even if we’re doing all this for the family, in the future, we’ll still have argunts and conflicts within this family for all sorts of reasons. At that ti, do we still need to endure silently? Again and again, it ends with family mbers hurting each other. If that’s the case, what’s our purpose living in this chaotic world?
In this chaotic world, we’re doing everything just so our family can live happier. If even this purpose becos aningless, then I think living here isn’t necessary.
In this chaos, it’s already quite fortunate to protect one’s own interests, how could one also take care of the entire family’s interests?
You should know very well that in this place, interests are the law, they’re the rule of survival.
To survive, one must press forward recklessly, discarding everyone else’s interests.
In this world, if we want to live happily, the first thing is to see others as less important than oneself, to prioritize personal interests. So things are irrevocable once done, and not doing them shows you’re lacking the courage for it.
No matter when or where, one should abandon all previously set ideals for one’s own interest, and in the end, if it turns out to be "like drawing water with a sieve," why trouble oneself for so things, making one’s life unsettled? My mother has ended up like this now, I don’t know what attitude to have towards her, or how to face everyone in this world.
Inside, each family mber is akin to my closest friends in this life. No matter when or where, I will prioritize family interests above all else. To , my family is more important than anything, but I cannot abandon my entire family or my personal interests for the family’s sake; that’s absolutely impossible. People are inherently selfish, that’s the true premise of living: to make those who hurt you pay dearly, to the point where they will never understand this kind of pain.
"Child, do you think living filled with hatred like this makes you happy? Truly happy? Pushing yourself to the brink, is there really a way back in the end? You’ve given up all your paths for what you ’wanted,’ just for everyone to look at you smiling happily. The result of your actions only makes every family mber disappointed in you. You’ve forgotten your original dream, the reason you wanted to prove yourself in the first place. You’ve beco numb after going through these things repeatedly."
"I know living with hatred is painful, unsettling, but why should I let them laugh happily when I am in extre suffering? I am not a Saint, I can’t do it. To those who have hurt , I will make them understand the taste of betrayal, and know what price cos with betraying others. There’s a saying, ’when a person is despicable, they beco invincible.’ I believe there is so truth to this, but I don’t believe the world has justice without empathy. Justice is spoken of, but who really practices fairness here?
Behind every lie is the hurt of those you love the most and who love you the most. When the hurt repeats over and over, others lose hope, leaving no reason to continue this way of living.
Once a decision is made, it can never be forgiven again. Even if you admit those things have nothing to do with you, the hurt might have already been caused, and others won’t infinitely forgive you because of it.
So things are unforgivable. You may think I have overdone it, but who of you has considered my feelings? They have hurt this ho after all. I have no way to let these things pass like the wind. You might be able to do it for Grandpa, but I have no one worth doing it for. Again and again, I have given up everything and what do I end up with? Only the deepest pain, ti and ti again, in the eyes of others I am nothing."
"Child, you finally understand this principle: in this world, you can only live for yourself, and you absolutely can’t change or live for anyone else. You live for yourself, not for others. Once you understand this, you have beco much more mature. So things can be taken lightly, but it doesn’t an the heart will not care. Now, what you should do most is spend good ti with your mother, and let her recover soon. Let her know that you love her from the heart, not just with words but through actions. If she realizes all you’ve done when she’s fully aware, she will surely be very happy."
Don’t dwell on things that make you unhappy and think about what you have in your life; you will discover a different kind of beauty.
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