How to choose the beginning so that we won’t regret it, and how to rewrite fate so that we can continue. Between us, like paths diverging, not knowing if there will co a day when they converge again. When we find ourselves, yet don’t understand who we are.
Recently, Zhang Yichen feels sowhat relaxed. His parents don’t bother him at all, at least they don’t argue endlessly like before. His wife’s condition is relatively stable during this ti, with no bad incidents, or any unexpected events. It’s a blessing amidst misfortunes for him, as he hasn’t lived such a tranquil life for a long ti. Even now, he knows it’s not easy, but he has never given up.
If suddenly due to family conflicts the outco turns bad, he truly doesn’t know what kind of end he will face. Right now, he has no ntal energy nor thoughts to deal with these entanglents. He feels fulfilled each day, but also exhausted.
Over the years, she has walked step by step to where she is now, which is not easy. Reflecting on each event over the years, every decision he made—was it truly without guilt? He never thought about how he got to this point. Step by step, he lived for the hope that his family might be safe. Now that his family has reached the outco he most desired, even though his wife isn’t awake yet, he feels happy...
"Dad, honestly speaking, I’ve lost hope for this family. I can’t find that warmth I used to wish for from anyone in this household, do you understand? When I’m repeatedly tortured, when I’m cornered needing love and care, what I receive in return is always pain. I have longed for happiness, joy, and a fulfilling ending this entire life. What have I gotten? Nothing at all—instead, I’ve lost so much.
Over the years, regardless of what you all think of , I’ve truly been happy. Even though I’ve been hurt countless tis, could only cry alone under the covers, deep inside those were still the happiest monts of my life. By sheer effort, I’ve arrived here, without relying on anyone except my grandfather. At that mont, deep inside, there’s bitterness. I never received your love, nor your companionship. In my soul, my parents are like ghosts, never appearing beside .
The years I most needed you have passed, irretrievably gone, never to return to this mont. How could you ever fathom the severe pain your past harms inflicted on ? I never voice my past hurts to anyone, because saying them changes nothing. But today, I can’t endure; after doing so much, what have I gotten in the end? Just hurt from my family, nothing in return.
At the ti when I needed you most, you were out wandering the world, abandoning , leaving alone with pressure I couldn’t bear. In those monts, the bitterness inside was overwhelming. I never expected my parents would treat so ruthlessly. Did I truly make a mistake by wanting anything at all? Am I destined to be hurt by my family again and again, forced to endure all pain without reaction? I’m unwilling. Through my effort, I’ve proven unwillingness is right.
I’ve thought of living against all odds, as long as I’m alive I’m happy to do anything, but what did it bring? Even living like this in the end, I gain nothing. I’ve lost my love, lost myself, a family that might have been happy, lost everything I treasured, deeply cherished. What aning does everything I did have at that point?"
"Child, you should understand, never once did I intend to treat you like this. Our misunderstandings run far too deep, impossible to resolve with re words. Have you ever thought, if I truly wished you gone never to return, and didn’t desire taking care of you, why would I stand here with nothing hindering ? Have you ever considered things from my perspective? Is everything you did right, and I’m entirely wrong? Living for my freedom, living for sustenance—am I wrong for that? I wanted to leave just for the happiness of my partner, likewise for you. You wish for your wife’s happiness too, you hope she stays healthy and safe beside you always, never to part. Can’t I wish the sa?
Clearly, many things are human nature, yet in your eyes, they’re utterly unforgivable. Did you never consider the tornt and pain I, as a father, experience deep inside? Did you not think about how I feel being caught in between, indecisive? Do you believe this is all just for yourself? Have you ever considered the difficulty of everything I have done? If you could just slightly view things from my angle, the ending wouldn’t be this way. I don’t want any more accidental surprises between us. I also hope none of us continues to blow this matter out of proportion, constantly arguing. Such life makes utterly fatigued, it’s not the life any of us want."
"Only now do you suddenly tell you don’t want such a life. Do you think I would believe you? Perhaps once I did believe everything you said, but now I don’t. Believing you only leads to repeated hurt. Why should I let myself be scarred, and finally endure all pain silently, while you laugh heartily beside ? I have no debt to repay except to my grandfather, my wife, and my child; I owe nothing to my parents, as there was never love given or companionship. Although you gave life, those earlier years when you abandoned already settled everything between us—no debt owed nor claim held. I will no longer connect with your presence nor actions, nor feel hate for you. I am no longer who I once was; I will live honorably by my own efforts, never again be saddened by anyone..."
When I thought my disguise was thorough, yet love hit revealing the scars on my body. When I lost all pretenses, the truth becos unbearable to face.
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