During this period, Zhang Yichen felt quite relaxed. His parents didn’t interfere with his affairs, at least no longer quarreling endlessly like before. Moreover, his wife’s condition was relatively stable, with no negative incidents or unexpected events occurring. For him, this was fortunate among unfortunate events. He hadn’t lived such a quiet life in a long ti, and yet, he didn’t know that coming to this point hadn’t been easy for him. However, he had never given up.
If a bad outco suddenly resulted from family conflicts, then he truly wouldn’t know what kind of ending he would face. He no longer had the mindset nor any thought to deal with these grievances and resentnts. He felt each day was fulfilled yet also very tiring.
Over the years, she has walked step by step to where she is today, which hasn’t been easy. Reflecting on everything that has happened to him over the years, every decision he made, was it truly without guilt? He had never thought about how he reached this point, living step by step, just hoping for his family’s safety. Now that his family had reached the outco he most wanted, even though his wife hadn’t awakened, he still felt very happy...
"Dad, to be honest, I am utterly despairing of this family now. I can no longer find that warmth among each person in this house that I once desired, you understand? When I’m tortured again and again, when I’m cornered with no way out and need to drink, when I seek the care and protection from the one I love, what I get back is always pain. How much I long to live happily and joyfully throughout my life and its final outco. But what have I got? Nothing. Instead, I have lost so much."
"All these years, regardless of how you view , I have truly been very happy. Even when hurt again and again, forced to hide under the covers crying alone, deep inside, that is still the happiest ti of my life. I got to where I am today through my own efforts, relying on no one but my grandfather to raise . At that mont, deep inside, I felt sour. I never received your love or company. In my heart, my parents have been like invisible people, never appearing by my side."
"The ti I needed you most has passed, and those days are gone forever, never to return. How could you ever understand the intense pain of the harm you caused back then? I never tell anyone about my past pain, because it’s of no avail, but today I really can’t bear it anymore after having done so much. But what did I get in the end, hurt from my own family? I got nothing in return."
"In the ti I needed you most, you were wandering the world, abandoning to face all the pressure alone. At that mont, my heart was always sour. I never expected my parents to treat in such a cruel way. Did I really do wrong by wanting that? Am I destined to be hurt by my family again and again, while I passively endure all the pain? I am unwilling. I proved with my efforts that my lifelong unwillingness is justified."
"I considered living at all costs, as long as I could live, I would be happy with anything. But in the end, what did I get? Even if I could live like this, I ultimately gained nothing. I lost my loved one, lost myself, lost the potentially happy family, lost everything I cared about and cherished the most. At that ti, what was the aning of everything I was doing?"
"Child, you should understand that from start to finish, I never intended to treat you this way. The misunderstanding between us father and son is already too deep, not sothing that can be resolved with just a few words. Have you considered that if I truly wanted you to leave and never return, if I really didn’t want to co back to take care of you and accompany you, then how would I be standing here without any restraints? When have you ever stood in my shoes to consider? Are all your actions justified, and everything I do wrong? Did I err for pursuing my freedom to eat and live? The reason I wanted to leave was just to make my companion happy and healthy just like you hope for your wife to be happy and joyous, to accompany you healthy and safe, never parting. Don’t I want the sa thing?"
"Many things are just human nature, but in your eyes, they are so heinous. Have you ever considered the struggle and pain deep in my heart as a father? Have you considered how I am caught in the middle, unable to find a way out when you feel everything is for yourself? Have you thought about how difficult it has been for ? If you could stand in my shoes even a little, the outco might not be like it is now. I don’t wish for any more accidents between us, nor do I wish for any of us to continue making a big deal out of this and quarreling incessantly. Such a life makes feel very tired. That’s not the life we want."
"And now you suddenly tell that you don’t want that kind of life. Do you think I would believe you? Maybe once I truly believed every word you said, but now I won’t, because believing in you has only brought repeated harm. Why should I let myself be battered and bruised, silently enduring all the pain? While you stand alone laughing beside , why should I feel indebted to anyone in this life except my grandfather, my wife, and my child? I owe nothing to my parents because I never received love or company from you. Even though you gave life, the mont you abandoned those years ago already settled everything between us. We owe each other nothing. I will no longer reconnect because of your presence or existence, nor feel hatred for what you’ve done. I am no longer who I was back then. I want to live honestly and with integrity through my own efforts, and never again be saddened by anyone..."
Longing has never let go, who can know my pain?
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