I forgot that I should have told you once, I truly loved you. In the end, I realized that after my wife left, I understood how deep my love for her was.
"Actually, I have to admire you. You repeatedly took advantage of my weaknesses to attack , do you understand? Those scabbed-over scars you cruelly tore open and sprinkled salt on again, do you know that pain? I believe you will never experience that kind of suffering in your life. All I wanted was a simple and unremarkable life, but in the end, because of you, everything beca fruitless!
No matter how much I once hated you, or how much I loved you, now I have no love or hate for you anymore, so I’ve thoroughly let you go. You don’t need to do those things for that seem laughable to others. You should boldly live the life that belongs to you. Your life could have been beautiful; why let it beco so fragnted because of ?
Let go!"
Zhang Zhentian said nothing and walked away with large strides, knowing he was powerless right now.
Clearly seeing his most beloved woman standing in front of him, yet he was helpless. Clearly, he could reach out and seize her, bring her back into his arms, but he was controlled by his pride, manipulated by his reason, unable to do so. If he did, it would only make him lose face completely, costing him the best opportunities again and again because he didn’t want to do this. Originally, he could have been happy, but because of his actions, he lost his initial smile.
At this mont, he’s really a bit confused. Can one truly stay true to the original intention throughout? He has never forgotten what his heart truly desires, but in the end, he was blinded by interests, hurting the woman he loves the most. He thought if ti could be reversed, he would never have acted so impulsively and irrationally. If it wasn’t for that reckless behavior back then, how could he have ended up like this? How could his wife be so unwilling to return to his side? Is all of this truly unrelated to him? It’s all because of his misconduct that these consequences were created. Now what right does he have to bla others? All of this is because of himself. How could he possibly say this is others’ fault and that he has no error at all? His heart is really conflicted and painful, watching his woman in front of him but unable to embrace her, unable to kiss her, only able to watch her leave him from afar, look at her back, and yet he is powerless to bring her back to his side. This is the kind of pain he doesn’t want to endure again in his life.
When Xia Jing turned around, tears slid down her cheeks. How could her heart not be in pain? Clearly seeing the man she loves the most in front of her, yet the man she loves is controlled by his reason, refusing to bow his head. What could she say? Is she supposed to offer affection only to be t with coldness, and say nothing? Should she keep pursuing soone who doesn’t reciprocate? Of course, she wouldn’t let such things happen. She can live without many things, but she has to have her dignity. If she doesn’t even have her final shred of dignity, what’s the point of living in this world?
On the contrary, she is quite content now, already having received the heartfelt confession she dread of for so many years, as well as the freedom she yearned for. What more could she be dissatisfied with?
She knows deep down that her thoughts go far beyond this, that her ambition can control everything, but she doesn’t want her ambition to control everything. She wants things to beco less frequent. She’s not soone who wants to live an ordinary life.
Both of their hearts are very hurt, clearly knowing what the result of doing this is, and what kind of ending they might face, yet ultimately neither kept the other with them. What was most important in their hearts was still their own dignity. Indeed, who in this world wouldn’t care about their dignity? Without dignity, why live on this earth? Yet thinking of all she sacrificed for this man, even giving up all of her pride, only to be t with such a result, anyone’s heart would be unwilling. But unwillingness does not an allowing ambition to control everything about oneself.
As Xia Jing walked away, she muttered to herself: You tried every way to get rid of ; I hope you can be happy and cheerful in your future life, achieving everything you want. Otherwise, after going through so much pain to fulfill you and endure my inner tornt to let you achieve your things, don’t let down. You must live happily, whenever, even if I’m not by your side. I believe that one day you’ll reach the height you desire. It’s just that at that ti, perhaps I won’t be around anymore.
In her heart, she kept telling herself repeatedly not to cry, not to shed tears—for the man she loves the most, to give him up, what’s so bad about it if it ans realizing his ideals and goals, even if it ans wandering the ends of the earth?
If Zhang Zhentian knew Xia Jing’s thoughts, he certainly wouldn’t have just turned and walked away. He never really understood what his wife’s heart truly desired. He always thought his own ideas were correct, but he never knew how conflicted and painful his partner felt inside. Others sacrificed their cherished feelings to fulfill him, or to let him attain his desired happiness and freedom, disregarding everything, yet ultimately, he didn’t understand what he truly wanted.
Zhang Zhentian said to himself: Xia Jing, although I still don’t know what ultimately drove you to leave , I hope you understand that since you now choose to leave, please live peacefully. The day I find you again will be the day we reunite. From that day on, I will keep you by my side, never allowing you to leave my sight again. You will be my partner forever, never replaced by another woman. I hope you calmly wait for to find you and bring you ho, waiting for our family to reunite, to be with Dad and our son, sharing our family joys.
I don’t know how to find her, but I truly hope she can return to .
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