Who was it that first ignited this war?
Zhang Zhentian knew in his heart that the pain he might have inflicted on his son in this lifeti could never be erased.
As parents, who wouldn’t understand the inner turmoil of realizing that their past choices might have caused imnse pain to their own child? Yet, ultimately, all they can do is pretend nothing happened. Only by choosing to forget can others perhaps treat it all as just a dream.
Why has my life always brought pain to my child? Is it really that difficult to let him live happily under my care? What I truly desire isn’t such, but for my family, my loved ones, and everyone to be joyful and happy. Yet why does every decision, every action of mine, always turn against my intentions? Why can’t I ever make my family happy?
Isn’t there a single correct decision I’ve ever made? Why can’t I ever bring happiness to my loved ones? Is it because I’ve never done a good deed in my life? All I wish for is to let my family be happy and joyful, yet why do my actions always turn everything into nothing but dreams?
Why must everyone I love leave one by one? Is it because of my mistakes? Does one mistake really deserve a lifeti of hatred? Why can’t they forgive even once? Even if just once, perhaps it’s the repeated hurt that has made everything so complicated, that has driven everyone away to distant places, that has pained everyone’s hearts so deeply.
If heaven could really give another chance, I would never do anything to make my family sad again. Everything I’ve done has changed everyone so much, yet why do I never face the consequences? If heaven is willing, willing to forgive , then let lightning strike and take away forever. I don’t want to open my eyes again only to face pain, with no happiness. Pain has blinded my eyes, clouded my entire heart, spreading pain throughout.
When the pain in my heart spread to my entire body, that’s when I truly understood what I wanted. But by then, it was too late. I had lost the one who loved the most, lost my entire world, yet all I could do was silently shed tears with no way to return to the beginning. It was all the consequence of my actions; I can bla no one. Perhaps heaven is fair, for I hurt him, and so he left, never to return.
"Child, perhaps you will never understand a certain kind of pain, the pain of losing the one you love the most, while that person gives up on you forever because of your mistakes. You’ve never experienced such pain. Before I t your father, you know, I had a very, very good boyfriend.
Those tis with him were the happiest and most joyful of my life. He gave a joy that no one else ever could. He gave all his love, but I peeled it away like layers of an onion. You have no idea how much it hurt him.
I don’t know how to empathize with that kind of pain in his heart; I only know he was truly desperate. He desperately deleted all my contacts. You never imagined how I lived through those years; every day felt like a year. Every mont, I missed him, wanting him to return to my side, but ultimately, there was no way.
He left, and he wouldn’t return to my side again. I knew it in my heart; I had truly lost him completely. Because of my actions, I repeatedly hurt her. I added her contact again and again, but she ignored every ti, eventually changing all her contacts. At that mont, I was desperate. I finally understood the depth of his despair. I finally realized the imnse pain I caused her. I regret my actions deeply. If not for my stubbornness, not for that ntal lapse, how could I have done such unconscionable things to him? She loved so much, was willing to give the world. Until he finally said, in all his plans, he included . But in the end, do you know what kind of pain that was? It’s a pain that can’t be forgotten in this lifeti, a searing pain. You think the pain we, as parents, inflicted on you is searing, etched into your bones. Do you know? The pain I caused her is etched into his heart. When I found out all his contacts were gone, all traces of our ti together erased, I realized he was truly desperate, and I knew in my heart I’d never have another chance to see him. The world is so vast; where could I find him? I don’t know his exact address. Day by day, living aimlessly..."
Zhang Yichen was stunned listening to his mother. He never imagined his mother had such an unforgettable love. Turns out, his mother wasn’t cold-hearted; she just knew her actions hurt soone deeply. She realized she could never go back to how it was. Despite making decisions that repeatedly hurt her loved ones, her heart wasn’t bad. She had just forgotten how to respect and love others, only knowing how to live selfishly. Perhaps this way, no one would rember past pains. Yet she forgot that the greatest thing in this world is respect, mutual trust, and loyalty...
Using hurtful words, never considering if all of this could be undone!
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