I wanted to smile, but feared I might look too ugly doing so, trapped in a sea of fire I couldn’t escape.
As for Old Master Zhang, his heart was truly in tornt. He clearly knew what kind of familial warmth his grandson desired, yet he was powerless. He knew all of this could be achieved with the simplest of actions, so why was it so difficult for his family? Why? Was it because they were a prestigious family, and all the wealth they possessed today was earned through his own hard work without doing anything illegal? Why must their happiness be shattered ti and again? His heart truly couldn’t reconcile with this. He wasn’t the kind of man who cared only about face and not dignity. Ti and again, he set aside his principles as a person, breaking his own rules for others, yet why, why must they hurt him ti and ti again, deeply wounding him? Is this really right?
Zhang Yichen, too, understood the thoughts harbored in his grandfather’s heart. He knew his grandfather was in pain and turmoil, yet as a grandson, he was helpless. He could only watch as his family repeatedly suffered distress and heartache because of these things, standing silently aside, powerless. Such an overwhelming sense of failure was an imnse blow for soone successful. Living a life of smooth sailing, why must he suddenly endure so many setbacks? Did he truly not deserve happiness?
Although both harbored thoughts, neither could bring themselves to speak when together, knowing that so words were best left unsaid. Once spoken, perhaps it would beco impossible to return to their original state. No one wanted to see such outcos befall themselves. They weren’t saints; they needed the warm and happy harbor of family. Why was fate so unfair to them, repeatedly hurting their families and destroying the happiness they ought to have? Such blows were difficult for anyone to accept.
They both chose to keep these words unsaid because once spoken, their nature would change, causing everyone to feel embarrassed and pained. They were their closest kin, yet they couldn’t bring themselves to return to each other’s side ti and again, causing hurt no one could accept. They didn’t want this hurt, buried again and again in their hearts, impossible to erase.
"Grandfather, why won’t my parents return to my side and care for their own son? In their hearts, am I really so unworthy of their care, even as an exception? Why are they so cold and unfeeling?
Sotis, I truly don’t understand why I couldn’t win my parents’ love. Abandoning once or twice should have been enough. Why must they continually abandon throughout my life? Am I truly so undeserving of their love?
Indeed, throughout so many years, I’ve never received the care and love from my parents that I’ve grown accustod to. But how can my heart be at peace, seeing other parents so lovingly caring for their children while mine avoid ? How can I, as a junior, find happiness in my heart? Repeatedly, I question myself: If my parents really don’t love , why did they bear ? Was it rely for lineage, just fulfilling an obligation?"
Grandfather, the pain in my heart, no one can understand. It’s a tornt from the depths of the soul, an overwhelming injury caused by abandonnt from one’s own parents. This is sothing in my heart that cannot change for a lifeti. I know the past is gone, clinging to it holds no aning, yet I can’t let it go. It’s always been a nightmare in my soul; how can I just let it go?
Sotis I wish ti could flow backward, rushing back to the original monts, how happy I would be! If my parents could show a little more care, how grateful I’d be throughout my life. But they never gave what I desired, only forced upon what I didn’t want, ti after ti. Since childhood, I’ve understood the principle of ’do not do unto others what you do not want done unto you.’ But why don’t my parents understand? Why do they repeatedly do things that hurt ? I truly don’t understand. Am I still their own son?"
When Old Master Zhang heard his grandson speak such words, his heart was still uneasy. He also understood that this was the demon within his grandson’s heart. If he couldn’t erge from this shadow, no matter how much he did or how much effort he exerted, it would ultimately be futile. Everything had to be experienced and understood by himself to truly grow up.
"Child, never dwell on things that make you unhappy. Regardless of how your parents treat you, they are your parents. No matter how many things they’ve done to hurt you, you must still be grateful. Without them, how could you be who you are today? Whether or not you serve any purpose to them now, your current success entirely stems from the life they gave you, allowing you to reach the heights many only dream of reaching. Many people struggle tirelessly just to attain this level, yet still cannot enter high society. You were born into wealth, far surpassing many in terms of family background. So, never dwell on these matters. As long as you’re grateful, no matter how your parents push you away, there will be a day of reunion in your life. Grandfather knows the hurt is unforgettable for you, but there is no other way..."
I feared waking again and again from crying, the dialogues once spoken now seed so pale and powerless!
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