When I could only bury my head and cry bitterly, I realized I was the only one still struggling in a past dream; it turns out I deserved all of this.
Zhang Zhentian understood what his wife truly thought deep down, but there were things he really couldn’t express aloud. Everyone has their own dignity and face, and every action they take affects them, with equal costs. No one is willing, and he lives on ti after ti. Is it really that exhausting to live? Why can’t he find the life he desires? Why has his life been so unbearably bitter? Even though he knows how it will end, he’s ultimately engulfed by pain, living in it forever with no reprieve.
Xia Jing sensed Zhang Zhentian’s feelings, realizing she maybe shouldn’t have been so blunt, that it might really harm the family’s harmony. She apologized to her father-in-law.
"Zhentian, I’m sorry. I know when you hear such words from your daughter-in-law, your heart must ache incredibly. But I truly don’t want to hide my feelings anymore. I just wish to live with the one I love most. If he could return to , I’d give up everything, even my life. If ti offered another chance, I’d rather stand in the middle of the road and let all the cars run over , shattering to pieces, just for one last look at my beloved in the hospital. That would be the happiest thing for . If I could see him see one more ti, I would be satisfied. Life may be filled with hardships, but why does my life have to be so fraught with obstacles? Can’t I have a mont of simple happiness and joy? Life has continually pushed into the abyss of misery, and my actions have destroyed all my happiness.
I buried the source of my happiness with my own hands. I don’t know how many mistakes I’ve made or how many people I’ve wronged, but I know this ti my heart was truly moved. And once you’re moved, you can’t win. From the mont I knew my heart was genuinely touched by him, I realized I’d have no chance of winning this life, because my heart belongs to him. No matter where he goes, my heart will follow, even to the ends of the earth.
Throughout my life, I can’t even grasp the extent of my own sorrow. The person I want never cos to . My career aspirations never go smoothly. I just want to know why in the sa lifeti I must endure so many experiences and setbacks. The person I wanted has left . My career dreams are shattered. I want a happy life, yet I endlessly struggle through countless dark nights, reaching for help, hoping the bright life could save . And my bright life solely depends on her, my first love boyfriend!"
"Forget it. No matter what I say, you won’t listen. I don’t want to interfere in the matters between you and my son anymore. Do as you wish, but I hope you both can show rcy in the end. Don’t do things that will make both more heartbroken. Can’t past things remain in the past? Why do you have to bring them up repeatedly, causing everyone around to live in agony ti and again?"
"I’ve thought it over. But for him, I could disregard my life. When I was willing to be hospitalized from drinking too much, I already knew I was deeply entangled and couldn’t extricate myself. I didn’t know how to make my presence felt. I could only choose to hurt her, never realizing it would end up hurting myself. When will this millennium wait end so he might turn back to ? I don’t know. I’ve called him countless tis; it all went to the blacklist. Who could know my despair, my pain? When I saw he deleted all my information and resources, who knew how hopeless I was? I warned myself over and over not to make mistakes, as long as I could live happily with him. Why make everyone unhappy along with ? Yet, in the end, I let him down; I lost him. Rembering all the days and nights we’ve spent together, rembering the happy tis we shared, my heart is filled with anguish. Others see the night scene as colorful, but to , it’s sorrowful, bleak, devoid of any light. I can’t see a glimr of brightness in that dark place inside . There’s no hope for light, unless he cos back to !
Perhaps none of you will ever understand my pain, but I truly want to tell you I love him. I love him, I love him, I love him to the point I’ll no longer care about anything else. I love him enough to give my life for her. I love him enough to let go of everything I care for. Yet, ultimately, I couldn’t keep him by my side. How incompetent am I if I can’t keep the one I love most? I’ve thought about what I could do to win him back
Having done wrong, no matter how heaven treats , I can only accept all the punishnts, for I have no choice.
I won’t bring up these things again. I’ll try to think about how to live happily, but I can’t. Whenever I close my eyes, my mind is filled with images of us holding hands. I have never forgotten the happy monts with him over the years. Our happiness was the most blissful ti of my life, and even though those tis are gone, my heart will always love her. No matter the distance or whether he marries, my love is deep-rooted, genuine, and cannot be erased by anything. Ti may prove everything, but ti is also a liar!"
"This pain I’ve inflicted upon myself; never trust ti. It only brings pain, never healing the wounds in your heart. I’ve numbed myself ti and again, just to live a worry-free life. But I’ve ended up altering everything, and it’s due to my actions. No one else to bla; I’ve indeed lived a life of profound suffering!"
You’ve been gone so long, and yet I’m still here foolishly waiting, hoping one day you could return to .
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