Once, I had dreams, but now when I look back, did I really achieve those dreams? And was every decision I made truly what I wanted?
Zhang Yichen felt that she should persuade her mother no matter what. Her mother shouldn’t treat her father like she did in the past.
"Mom, no matter how you look at it, you were wrong first. You shouldn’t treat my father like this, even if he abandoned , my grandfather, my whole family, and even sent my grandfather to the hospital with anger. I can forgive him because he is my father, no matter his mistakes, he gave life. Without him, how could I possibly be where I am today? You both created who I am step by step, yet you never considered how I struggled in the past. You never accompanied my growth. Do you know how frightening it was to grow day after day with repeated devil-like training? I cried in fear there, but no one offered a hand!
You trained in a place so dark you couldn’t see your fingers, can any of you understand the fear inside a child just a few years old? Can you fathom the shadows it cast in my heart at the ti? Because ti and again you pursued your own desires without considering your loved ones who needed your presence the most. You don’t truly understand how to care for your loved ones. Your actions are rely to satisfy your own selfish desires. But is freedom really that important? Over the years you gained freedom, but are you truly happy, truly joyful? You gained freedom but lost the people who love you most and your family. You wander the world without settling, living in constant fear. Is that the life you wanted?
Mom, no matter what, I call you mother because all these years you must have silently observed my actions. I know you haven’t ignored my existence. You just don’t know how to relate to your own son. I can forgive everything, no matter how much hurt you caused , no matter how many tis you ruined my happiness. But for the sake of my father, there are things I must explain to you. What place does this put my father in? Do you not know how much he loves you? He would give all his love for you. Do you really want to strip away all his love for you like peeling an onion? If that day cos, can you still find happiness?
The human heart feels pain, emotions are not one-sided, would anyone give their all to receive cold indifference?
If your heart would not be worried, we won’t tell my father these things. We don’t want to sadden him or cause disputes between you, but so things just need to stop. Don’t hurt him like before. She has changed a lot to follow your steps. He was never like this before, but for your sake, she has sacrificed so much. You should understand his feelings sowhat. If you only keep hurting him, he will drift further away. Everyone has different ways of life; maybe ours aren’t like yours, but we hope you can adapt to ours now. You’ve returned to this big family, you’re back in the formal family, you should get used to our ways, not living your own life in solitude like before, that’s not a life that can last!"
"My dear son, thank you, mom is grateful you can say such heartfelt words to today. Deep down, I know so things can’t be changed once they happen. Do you think I don’t want to return to the old life? I only wish ti could rewind and grant one more chance, just enough for to truly live. I’ve lost the person I love most who also loves most, and in return, I’ve found grief ti and again. All of this, I brought upon myself, I can’t bla anyone because I know so things can’t be changed in this lifeti. What I miss will always be missed, I can only mourn myself. Why have I never considered others’ feelings in my actions, why did I act so recklessly without thinking of the consequences? I truly regret it, I don’t wish for ti to rewind; I only hope Heaven will grant another chance, even if just once, to go back to the past, so I can apologize deeply to the one I loved most and be with him, that’s enough for !
Sotis I truly resent Heaven, why give only one chance? What I want is far more than this. I would give up everything for her. If I had known earlier how deeply I loved him, how heavily he loved, would abandon everything for him regardless of the cost, endure even the heaviest retribution. Why did I hurt her repeatedly? Why feel guilt repeatedly, feel pain repeatedly, making my heart numb? I no longer know my na, I only know my heart loves that man deeply, that won’t change in this lifeti, I just want to be by his side. But why did heaven play such a grand joke on , causing argunts ti and again over what? Other people’s intervention, the third party’s involvent ultimately makes everything unusual!
Child, hold onto your own happiness, that’s what matters most, don’t regret after losing like your mom, by then it’s too late. I just resent myself for my actions, had I known earlier, I wouldn’t have done it, this saying is for myself. I know my actions brought much pain, I know it caused deep psychological shadows for those who love . I can’t express it, can’t asure it. I only know in this lifeti, I’ve set foot on a path of no return because my choice hurt those who love most. I can only live in grief my whole life.
Looking at others’ happy family lives while my wife is still wandering who knows where, how can I be at peace...
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