Zhang Zhentian didn’t want to drive his wife into a corner step by step, but as a man, there were so things he truly couldn’t be indifferent about. He knew full well how much his wife loved another man, and he could only silently watch as she loved soone else, powerless to make her sincerely want to spend her life with him. Perhaps this was the greatest failure a man could experience.
"Xia Jing, as your husband, I don’t want to say anything else right now. I just want to ask you one question, and I hope you can answer honestly. What do I really an to you in your heart? What have these decades of companionship ant to you? Or have you rely treated as a toy to harbor your nostalgia, a plaything? Do you know how much I’ve loved you all these years, how I’ve been willing to do anything for you, going to any length to give you what you wanted? Why would you choose to say such things to hurt in the end? Do you really hate that much in your eyes? Can’t you even give the slightest bit of sincere treatnt without relentlessly wounding , leaving battered and bruised, before you can feel happy inside?"
"Zhentian, I really didn’t an it that way. I never thought of using such things to hurt you. I know how much you love , and I understand how much I’ve cared for you over the years. But do you know that the yearning in one’s heart can’t be replaced by anything? The person I long for is not by my side right now, and yet I can only watch helplessly as the person I don’t love sacrifices everything for ti and ti again—how is that not torture for ? I, too, hope that you can live a happy and peaceful life, but so things are beyond my control. Affection isn’t sothing I can forget whenever I wish to. His place in my heart over these years cannot be shaken by anyone! I am not heartless. When I see the person I do not love sacrificing everything for , my heart hurts and I feel sorrow. I don’t want those I don’t love to sacrifice so much for soone like who isn’t worthy of their love. Many tis, I’ve really wanted to tell you that I’m truly sorry, but there are so things I can’t tell you. Because if I do, it will lead to a different outco. I fear loss. I’ve already lost so much. And if I lose you, if I lose my family, then what would be left for in this life?"
"Perhaps you think I’m being incredibly selfish, but who doesn’t act selfishly at least once in their lifeti? I could have supported you, hidden my feelings for him deep inside my heart, even while being with my own husband. I would never forget him. I buried my yearning for him forever in my heart, a longing that would remain unchanged wherever I went, whatever I did. That yearning has taken root deep inside , etched onto my bones, and cannot be discarded in this lifeti. Maybe in your eyes, all this doesn’t justify my actions, but do you understand what it’s like to love soone to the marrow of your bones? If I don’t see him for a day, I pine for him incessantly, always hoping that he might send a ssage back. Every day, I check my phone frequently to see if he has sent a ssage, and it’s been so hard for to endure for so long!
"Have you ever considered how I’ve managed to survive these days and nights—a countless number of days and nights? Every day, I wrestle with agony. I fear that ultimately, I’ll lose everything. I just want to be able to hold on to the life I desire, securely and steadily!
"Perhaps in your eyes, none of this seems important. Perhaps you don’t think it’s all that significant, but there are certain things within that I simply can’t let go of. I’ve seen my dearest leave behind, and although I reach out ti and again to grasp onto my beloved, I am left grasping at thin air, alone in this abyss of pain. I am utterly desperate, a despair you have never experienced and cannot understand. This despair brings profound pain. Maybe your lives always seem glamorous, with many laurels resting upon your heads. You were born with a silver spoon and had it easy. But ? I had only my efforts to rely on, climbing one step at a ti, only to be cruelly toppled just as I neared life’s peak, forced to start all over again. Which of you has ever experienced such disappointnt and pain? None of you! You’ve always felt that everything you want in life will easily be handed to you, but you forget that all of it still requires your own effort to truly obtain in the end!"
"I understand that after I tell you all this today, you will have your own opinions about . But so things, I truly have no way of explaining to you. I have already made this decision, and now the most important thing I can do is to settle for this life. I simply cannot forget him; I’ve buried him deeply in my heart. No matter when or where he is, no matter whether he settles down or rembers in the end, I will always love him. This love, I will carry with until death, taking it into my coffin, keeping it forever in my heart. Only then will I realize that the person I loved the most has finally accompanied into the grave!"
"Because my love for him has followed into the grave!"
"Everyone chooses different paths in their hearts. Everyone eventually chooses a different outco for their lives. My life was destined to be this way; I don’t want anyone to end up lanting their own powerlessness, to have been incapable of holding onto the person they loved the most!"
"Yes, life is full of bumps and scrapes. No one’s life is smooth sailing. The path one chooses ultimately leads to the corresponding result—it’s all a cycle of cause and effect!
"Perhaps in your eyes, my life could have been perfect because of your presence. But do you understand that by appearing, you have truly disrupted my entire life..."
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