Zhang Zhentian never imagined that his son’s childhood was going to turn out like this. What he saw before was far from the whole picture of how hard his son actually had it—a pain beyond what words can express.
Thinking about all of this, knowing that it was his own selfish actions that caused such harm to his child, why does his heart as a father ache so profoundly? If there was no trace of his son in his heart, why was there a shred of reluctance when he spoke those words today? Could it really be because what she said was so moving?
"Yichen, listen to what your dad has to say. Deep in my heart, it’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that so many years have gone by, and I’ve beco numb, not knowing how to be a father. Over the years, I’ve imagined many scenarios of us eting again. I never thought that one day, I would return to this house, begging on my knees, with the help of you and my grandson. Do you know how that feels for ? I can’t believe, nor accept it, even though I know all that you did was for my sake, for the sake of bringing back ho. But the mont you pleaded for , I knew I would never be able to repay what I owe you in this lifeti!
My child, isn’t it torture too, to live every day, digging deep into your heart? Have you ever dared to think whether your father would one day return to your side? Because you don’t dare to hope, you’re afraid—afraid that what you long for will only ever be a longing. You can’t bear the heavy blows that reality deals you ti and ti again, just like . I’m also afraid, afraid that I will never have another chance at happiness in this life, afraid that I’ve lost the only right to return to this house!
I once silently pondered, if one day I returned to this house, would I co back begging, or by the charity of others? But I never imagined that I would ultimately owe it to my own son and grandson, who helped from behind the scenes, allowing to co ho. I chose to admit all my mistakes, for that car accident showed all the wrongs I’ve done in this life within a nightmare. Every act, every mont of yours flashing before ... How could my heart not be tortured? I’m not heartless; I do want to return ho, but I’ve lost the right to return ti and ti again, because all my decisions have made completely ungrateful!
For my own freedom, I selfishly abandoned my family, my father, my son, and even ignored the century-long reputation of my family, repeatedly doing things that hard our family’s interests.
Child, I am far inferior to you. Although you may think my life experiences are rich, do you think I’m happy? So many things have turned out in ways we never expected, haven’t they?
If one day you’ve wandered for many years, constantly roaming, wouldn’t you want to return ho, to be by your father’s side, by your son’s side? Even if over these years you had the woman you cherished the most by your side, your heart would still be empty because you lack the greetings and care from your family. You heartlessly left them behind, but they’re at ho, foolishly waiting in vain for you to return, eagerly hoping every mont. Can you imagine how heartbreaking it is to see in your dreams the silhouette of your family waiting for you at the door?
At this mont, Zhang Yichen doesn’t know what to say to his father.
He knows his father has always wanted to co back ho, and as a son, this is as far as he can help. He also understands how much his father has sacrificed over the years, but so things can’t just be let go of so easily. The companionship that’s been missing for so many years will always remain just a longing deep in his heart. Even now that everything has returned, the joy of childhood that was missed can never be compensated for.
"Dad, actually, I can imagine that feeling of knowing your family is eagerly waiting for you to co ho, yet not having the courage to return, only to stand in a dream, in that distant place, watching your family hopelessly looking out for you. That feeling is truly agonizing; I can empathize with it!"
"Because that’s how I’ve spent these years, constantly waiting in vain for my parents to return to my side. Do you understand this longing gaze of mine? How much I wish you could co back, just to see your son? I only wish my parents would put forth the last bit of effort to co back and accompany . Even if it were only for one day, one mont, or even a second, that for would be the entirety of happiness. I’ve never had your company, and I don’t even know what it’s like to have my parents by my side. I’ve even forgotten that I have parents!"
Perhaps saying this makes you very upset, and hearing it disappoints you, but so things are just this cruel. I have no way to undo everything as if it never happened. You are my father, and you know that so things are truly hard to forget. Just like how I shut you out before, again and again, you wanted so badly to co ho, and yet I only hurt you. Does your heart truly feel happy then? You’ll never forget the pain your own son caused you, will you?"
"You’re right, I can’t forget, and deep inside I’m fully aware that it’s all my own fault. By choosing to co back in this manner, I have to accept the sa looks from you all over and over again. There’s nothing I can do; no one could have expected how things would end up. An ending that’s too perfect is unbelievable, but perhaps our current one is the most correct, isn’t it?"
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