Zhang Zhentian thought that his wife hadn’t heard the words he spoke to his brother, but he didn’t realize she had been standing behind him, overhearing their entire conversation. Deep inside, his wife’s heart was truly aching. He was her husband, after all. Why was he willing to give so much without expecting any-thing in return?
What, after all, had she done for him? What she had brought him was only pain, ti and again, never considering what kind of life she truly desired.
Now it seed she was the most selfish person, incurably so.
Why be so selfish? To indulge her own desires, she gave up a complete family, and for a bit of happiness and freedom she longed for, her family suffered pain and injury again and again. Did she ever do anything right? Every ti, they were the ones heartbroken, while she remained indifferent. How many things must she do in her lifeti to finally get sothing right and to stop breaking their hearts, to end their suffering? Why do all her actions only cause them pain instead of bringing them joy?
Zhang Zhentian still didn’t know that his wife harbored so many thoughts about his past actions. If he knew, how would he comfort her? To see her happy was all he truly desired for a joyful life.
Suddenly, Zhang Zhentian didn’t know what to do. On one hand was his family; could he really choose to abandon them again for his wife?
After all the hardships to return ho, could it be that what he sought could only bring more harm?
If he gave up his entire family for his wife again, would there be another chance to return ho? Perhaps he was destined to wander and die in a foreign land, to be buried away from ho.
He truly didn’t want that outco to befall him once more. Could he, having finally returned to his hotown, willingly be cast out again, with no chance of returning?
He is no saint, no deity; he is a living, breathing person who needs the care and company of his family.
Having lost so much and at last realizing his mistake, he knows he must not lose it again. Yet, there is no way to fully nd the continuous pain he has caused, even though they have repeatedly chosen to forgive and tolerate him. But why does he keep bringing them such deep pain? Is this truly what he wants in his heart?
Xia Jing saw her husband in such turmoil. She didn’t want him to live this way and wanted to make him happy. She was willing to give up everything she ever wanted to make ands for the pain she had caused everyone in this family. Maybe these ands wouldn’t be enough, but at least they could lessen the burden of guilt in her heart and allow her to feel slightly happier, even just a little bit.
Xia Jing chose to stay silent, turned around, and walked away. She felt it was ti to let her husband think it through. Whatever decision he made, she would not interfere. Even if he chose his relatives over fleeing with her, she would not have a single complaint because it was ti to make it up to every person hurt by her past actions. If she persisted in repeating her mistakes, how could the family ever be happy again? What reason would they have to forgive her, to forgive him?
Old Master Zhang ca downstairs and saw Zhang Zhentian lost in thought in the living room, unaware of what his son might be pondering. Having already returned to this ho, what could possibly be worth such deep contemplation?
"Zhentian, what are you thinking about, standing here so lost in thought? Didn’t you want to co back ho? We let you co back as you wished. Do you still have so ulterior motive now that you’re back? I’m telling you, if you want to stay in this house, stay put and don’t entertain any untoward thoughts. Otherwise, you won’t last long here. No one will keep forgiving you endlessly. We can forgive you once for your mistakes, not over and over again.
I see you daydreaming here, oblivious to the fact that soone is behind you, not acting like yourself at all. Can you tell what’s going on deep down inside? Are you thinking about how to leave us again and whether we will accept you back? If that’s the case, then don’t even think about it, because we certainly won’t give you such an opportunity. If you choose to leave again, we will never agree to let you co back, as we can’t bear to be hurt by you repeatedly.
I won’t say much else, just hope you have a conscience and think about the years of debt you owe your son. Do you know what he’s been through? You have willingly looked into it, so how could you bear to keep hurting him, making him so desperate ti after ti? He is your child, a part of you, with your blood flowing through his veins. Yet could you really be so cruel as to abandon him? Think things through – even hearts of flesh and blood can turn cold after repeated injuries.
If a person’s heart is dead, they will never forgive anyone again, nor will they accept anyone!"
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