"I'm sorry, I lost control of my emotions." After a long ti, Ayako sat up, her nostrils slightly twitching.
"There's no need to apologize for that. Allowing guests to express their emotions is part of my service," Xu Xiaoyou said. "Sotis, girls who get drunk throw up all over too, and that's quite common."
The woman's eyes grew a bit more complex, yet she said nothing, rely holding Xu Xiaoyou's hand tightly, releasing it and then grasping it again.
The shadow cast by the sunlight inclined as the washing machine stopped rolling, the clothes on the rack gradually drying, and the sound of damp dripping ceased.
For the entire morning, Xu Xiaoyou spent ti chatting with Mrs. Ayako about what seed to be very everyday topics, from health and mood to the hospital environnt, and onto what the woman would ordinarily do. Seemingly ordinary topics harbored hidden anings and entered subtly. Xu Xiaoyou was indirectly probing the woman's ntal state through various questions while providing her service, as she also attempted to treat her psychological issues.
Perhaps Xu Xiaoyou bore so resemblance to Mrs. Ayako's daughter, as she understood the woman's longing for her daughter was projected onto herself.
"They all say I look more spirited now than before, I'm willing to communicate with others, and there's a glow on my face." Mrs. Ayako said with a smile.
"After eting you, Little Rose, I really feel much better..."
Xu Xiaoyou listened quietly, occasionally nodding to show she was still engaged. She always was a patient listener, rarely questioning others when they confided in her, offering no rebuttal unless necessary.
She often subtly hinted at their roles in the conversation, Ayako as the client, and herself as the Green Leaf offering service. Whenever the woman indulged in a warm family mont, it was Xu Xiaoyou who created it, and then dissolved it.
Every ti she did this, Mrs. Ayako would be notably dispirited by the stark contrast, yet the next day, she appeared with a more positive mindset. Eventually, her insinuations no longer affected Mrs. Ayako. Clearly, through prolonged interactions, the woman subconsciously acknowledged their roles.
"If Qingzi were this grown, she would be a graceful young lady by now, at the age to venture into society on her own."
Nogawa Seiko, Mrs. Ayako's daughter; the woman had never actively ntioned her daughter in front of Xu Xiaoyou, and today was the first ti.
"Mrs. Ayako?" Xu Xiaoyou realized it was an opportunity and appropriately asked.
"Look at my mory, I never told you about Qingzi. She's my daughter, also with beautiful golden hair, and she... left a few years ago..." Ayako said.
The woman was very reluctant to recall matters of her daughter, as if peeling off a bloodied scab from her heart. But today's situation seed different; there was no acute chest pain spreading, no suffocating heaviness, her tone was calm, natural, more relief than sorrow.
To her, the past she mourned had truly beco the past.
This transition was like a silent rain, happening quietly, and it was only when the seeds began sprouting in the soil that she realized, spring seed to have arrived.
"Sotis, I always see you as Qingzi. Her eyes weren't as lovely, gentle as yours, her charisma wasn't as outstanding, just having an ordinary appearance, unlike you, loved by everyone here." The woman mustered the courage to continue reminiscing over the long-sealed mories.
In the depths of long-ignored mories, many mories the woman didn't want or dare to recall slowly resurfaced. The carefree laughter of a little girl echoed above the warm room, a girl chased kites under the blue sky, the awkwardness of youth gradually fading, routine greetings followed by retreating into her room...
An unknown rift and fault erged between mother and daughter; it had been a while since they sat and had a al like this. She believed the girl had grown and wanted her own private space. Only when she subconsciously criticized Qingzi for wasting ti on her musical instrunts did her daughter unleash anger at her for the first ti. Her insistence on explaining that everything was for Qingzi's good and imposing her thoughts on her daughter made her realize she too had beco a tedious parent.
Perhaps if she hadn't taken away Qingzi's instrunts, and Qingzi stayed in Dragonfly Town, ford a band, road her own wilderness, everything would be different?
Maybe then, Qingzi wouldn't have gone to Chichu City, isolated and bullied because of her aloof personality, leading to lancholy and ultimately choosing to end her life.
Even though she tied those mories to a heavy stone, casting them into the sea, thinking never to face those harsh realities again, fate loves to play tricks.
She buried her past mories with her own hands, then voluntarily approached the golden-haired girl in front of her, dredging up those past mories again.
She can never forget the mont in the hospital when she t Qingzi again, the girl spoke weakly and cried to her, "I tried my best to be obedient in your eyes, Mom, I know you're tired, but I just can't..."
Ayako examines herself, questioning what she cannot let go of: her longing for, guilt towards her daughter, or is she afraid to admit her negligence led to Qingzi's choice to end her life?
She is a failed mother, the true culprit in Qingzi's demise.
If only she noticed the estrangent between mother and daughter sooner, if she had seen the sorrow behind Qingzi's forced smiles, hadn't imposed her ideas on Qingzi, none of this would have happened.
"In the hospital, I learned how to knit sweaters, gradually got along with the old folks, articulated my needs to the caregivers, and even picked up a few jokes..."
"Do you still spend entire mornings sitting on the hospital bed knitting sweaters?" Xu Xiaoyou asked.
Ayako shook her head, took out a sweater, and held it up in front of Xu Xiaoyou: "With autumn coming, the weather will gradually get colder. This sweater isn't for Qingzi, it's for you, Little Rose."
"I couldn't think of anything else to give, just this. It's a bit rough, my apologies."
"I didn't knit it on the hospital bed either; I watched them from the backyard during their senior exercises as you suggested, basking in the sun more. I feel I should accept so facts and let go of things."
"I should learn to reconcile with myself, try to look forward."
When Mrs. Ayako said these words, her eyes were as serene as a late autumn lake. The autumn wind stirred through longing and sorrow, creating ripples, and after a few fallen leaves, it returned to tranquility.
"I probably won't co again tomorrow; today, I ca to say goodbye to you, Little Rose. Truly, truly, thank you. Any in-store activities are surely fake, aren't they? I'm not that foolish to shalessly take advantage of such little perks at my age..." Ayako laughed self-deprecatingly.
"I took up so much of your precious ti, despite being just a failed mother, yet you seriously attended to . Thank you for your care during this ti. I believe, Little Rose, you must be a very gentle person, only here working out of necessity..."
"I've really moved on, felt much better." Mrs. Ayako turned her head and said, "But, what use is reconciling with myself? I'll spend the rest of my life reconciling with Qingzi; she is the one who was truly hurt."
A gust of wind blew, and the wind chis on the windowsill softly chid, reflecting golden light under the clear sky.
Ayako slowly widened her eyes. These were wind chis handcrafted by Qingzi. The innocent words of the little girl echoed in her ear, "When the autumn breeze makes the wind chis sound, I'm right beside you, Mom."
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