For Yun Qian, this ti many outstanding won appeared.
For example, Li Zhibai from Knowing White and Guarding Black.
For example, Wen Li who will eventually beco Miss Aqing.
And many others, but the first one to catch her attention, the one she would say she liked, was none other than an inconspicuous, self-deprecating Wine Lady.
Liu Qingluo.
This woman holds a special status.
She is very much like Xu Chang’an.
So much so that Yun Qian feels if she had not disrupted his future, this Miss Liu should have been his soulmate.
It’s not hard to understand.
In these unstable tis, like the daily life of the girls in Beisang City, gentleness is like a delicious poison, one that makes people want to taste what flavor belongs to them even knowing they will get hurt.
But if a gentle person is gentle to everyone, perhaps it’s not too different from indifference and may beco a complete poison.
Just like how the new girls at the Flower Moon Building watch the older sisters drawing portraits of Young Master Xu, always innocently saying, "Young Master Xu is such a gentle person," while the older sisters knock on their heads, telling them it’s not like that.
Is what the young master gives them a kind of compassionate gentleness?
Liu Qingluo and her sisters are very clear, it is not such shallow, worthless emotion, but... speaking of it might make one feel sowhat amused.
She did not know how to describe this feeling, the closest would be respect and understanding, with occasionally not so gentle eyes.
Strange, isn’t it?
This seemingly superficial, full of grand truth, laughable emotion is precisely the sun in these girls’ hearts.
For the girls who liked her husband before, Miss Yun would always take great pains to understand them, Liu Qingluo being no exception.
Just like a moth drawn to a fla, once a moth has witnessed warmth and brightness, it will fling itself to the fla without knowing the fla brings death.
Ignorance... isn’t it also a kind of happiness?
Yun Qian thinks so, so she can let go of many mories.
But Liu Qingluo is a human, not a moth; she knows the fla ahead is dangerous, so she restrains her emotions and refrains from acting like a moth to a fla.
Is it because she’s afraid of being hurt?
Yun Qian had considered this matter.
Later she realized it was not so, she doesn’t avoid touching the light she seeks because she knows it brings harm, but because she understands restraint, knowing what should and shouldn’t be done.
This near-cruel rationality toward herself is sothing Yun Qian has seen in the eyes of people she liked very much, and... she has seen it many tis.
Indeed.
Liu Qingluo also wants to make the moth-to-a-fla attempt; she also wants to spare no effort to pursue the sun that could light up the earth for her, even if the warmth would burn her completely, even if just for an instant, only for an instant the sun is hers.
But she did not do so.
Because Miss Liu is truly a very content person.
She doesn’t need the sun that shines on everything, just a little bit of its residue or a bit of bright moonlight would suffice.
If that were still too greedy, then the moonlight Liu Qingluo wouldn’t need either; the scattered starlight in the night would be enough to keep her tossing and turning with joy.
But for so people, even starlight is still blindingly hot.
Fortunately, Miss Liu is truly a very content person, she is not greedy at all.
She does not want the sun, or the moon, or the starlight; she only wants a tiny, dim candle fla.
She only needs to glimpse the one she likes from afar like at Celestial Bright Peak, then cherish this feeling back to her room, light a candle and savor the dim glow... that is enough for her to live by.
Those who are easily satisfied also know best when to "let go."
And Xu Chang’an is soone who is easily satisfied.
——
Yun Qian knows this very clearly, so she hopes her husband is a philanderer, a greedy person.
Because greed entails wanting to hold onto everything... not wanting to let go.
Hence, regarding Miss Liu who shares similar feelings with Xu Chang’an, Yun Qian might indeed be willing to see her beco a brave moth, and then... she might even proactively bring the "sun surnad Xu" to her, wishing her happiness?
This is not generosity, but setting an example for Xu Chang’an—see, being a moth isn’t so bad.
Therefore, even in the distant future, Yun Qian hopes he would not be so easily satisfied, for there are still many interesting things under the sky.
But even these things, Yun Qian herself hasn’t thought too clearly.
The only wish she has held firmly since very long ago is for him to be a philanderer.
——
"Another part of the truth... is that I want you to be a bit greedy," Yun Qian’s voice was without fluctuation, "I’m a greedy person."
The sun, the moon, the starlight, the dim glow, she wants them all.
"Greedy?" Xu Chang’an tried his best to hide the worry in his eyes.
Miss Yun is a mysterious person, he has known this for a long ti.
So, even though she occasionally shows a very discordant appearance, he always tries to not understand.
Just like, although he always asks about the secret behind Yun Qian’s "family," if carefully examined, his pursuit of those secrets... is always just right, as if from beginning to end he never had the intention to investigate deeply.
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