Chapter 274:
Julie’s POV
Olivia’s words fell upon my ears like drops of acid, searing away whatever was left of my certainty and reviving an army of black doubts and suspicions within . I felt a piercing coldness sweep through my limbs, as if the blood that had been boiling just monts ago had suddenly frozen in my veins. Could Robert that man whose depths I inhabited for a single night really do this to ? Could he forget, with such terrifying simplicity, everything that passed between us? Every feverish touch, every mingled breath, and every whispered "I love you" that my heart claid it heard?
I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt the air in the hallway grow scarce, so I headed to my room with staggering steps, as if the ground were shifting beneath . My heart was beating with a violent agitation, like a caged bird striking its wings against my ribcage to tear it apart. Muddled thoughts tossed in my mind like raging waves on a stormy night at tis lifting up to believe in his love, and at others dragging down to the bottom of the ruin Olivia had described.
I tried to gather the scattered remains of my soul, shaking my head with desperate force as if trying to expel the nightmares Olivia had planted in my imagination. "No... no," I whispered to myself in a muffled voice, "Robert would certainly never do this... not him."
I began to replay the tape of my mories with him. I rembered those jealous glares that would ignite in his eyes whenever anyone approached ; I rembered how he would transform into a predatory beast, threatening to kill any man who dared even to look at or touch the hem of my dress. How could he now, with utter simplicity, sell to another? How could he accept another man touching the body he was fucking yesterday with such possessive ownership?
He would never do it, I scread within , trying to silence the voice of doubt. I am certain of that in the deepest point of my soul. Even if he decided to leave , or even if it reached the point of hating and rejecting , he would never reach such extre baseness. Robert possesses a pride that outweighs his desire for revenge or so I was deluding myself, clinging to the last shred of his image that had begun to fade before my eyes behind the fog of deception.
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Robert’s POV
What I did yesterday was a suicide of my dignity and pure madness. How did I allow the walls I built with my blood and sweat to crumble so easily? How did I surrender and go to her room like a crushed man? I tightened my grip until my bones almost pierced my skin and my knuckles turned white, as I rembered her surrendered features under the dim bathroom light, and the sound of her moaning that was shredding my composure.
I lost control over the reins of myself, and I blad it on the alcohol, even though I know deep down that my thirst for her was stronger than any intoxication.
Fifteen days of fighting an army of desires within I saw hell itself in every night I spent away from her body. I would stand at her door like a vagrant, leaning my head against the cold wood, closing my eyes and trying to inhale her scent lingering in the cracks, trying to feel the vibrations of her presence behind that cursed door that imprisoned her and imprisoned my heart along with her.
I missed her to the point of madness, to the point of murder. I comforted myself with her image alone, those features that made her look like a pure angel. I felt a bitter lump choking my throat; damn ! I couldn’t hate her as I should. I couldn’t uproot her from my heart even though she carries the genes of that woman who destroyed my life! But at the sa ti, I couldn’t approach her normally and forget the origin of the tainted blood running in her veins... Violet’s blood.
Whenever I drowned in her eyes or touched the softness of her skin, the image of my mother committing suicide blood covering her cold body would leap before my eyes like a loud nightmare.
That mory is what makes recoil; it’s what pushes to treat Julie with that savage cruelty that tears my soul before it tears hers. I regretted going to her room. How did I allow myself to weaken while I was fucking her with such yearning? How did I let my heart speak instead of my mind?
Damn this helplessness! I couldn’t fuck another woman but her. It was as if her body were a magical curse that made loathe all won and lust for her alone, despite all the hatred I carry for her origin. And for so reason, in a mont of ecstasy that clouded my mind, I confessed my love to her... damn ! I should never have done that! I won’t be a second version of my weak father. I won’t love Violet’s daughter, who is a carbon copy of her mother’s lethal beauty.
The day passed heavy as stone. I hated myself, the silence of the club, and the crowd of my thoughts. I needed an exit, anything to erase the trace of Julie from my skin and my mind. I rembered Sarah... Sarah, whom I hadn’t visited in an entire month, the one who was always my quiet sanctuary. I must go to her now. I must use another body to erase the image of Julie from my mory that is tainted by her.
I stood up with a body weighed down as if the world’s burdens were on my shoulders. I headed downstairs with chanical steps toward Sarah’s room. I needed to feel anything other than this ache.
And the mont I placed my hand on the handle and pressed it to open, her voice echoed behind ... a voice that made my entire being shudder, a voice I know among a thousand.
"Robert."
I turned slowly, and my eyes collided with her pale face. She was looking at with stunned eyes filled with a horrific brokenness, trembling from the top of her head to the soles of her feet as if she had received a sudden slap that stripped her of her balance. She spoke in a faltering, husky voice, as if the words were wounding her throat: "What are you doing, Robert?"
I answered with a lethal coldness, trying to look away so her lost gaze wouldn’t weaken : "It’s none of your business what I do."
Her eyes widened in even greater shock, and she took a step forward, hardly believing what she was seeing. She said: "How is it not my business? Are you joking with ? You’re standing in front of Sarah’s room... You’re about to go inside!"
I said with a stony stillness, while I pressed the door handle so hard it almost shattered in my hand: "So what? I will go wherever I want."
She moved closer to , tears gleaming in her eyes like shards of glass, and spoke with a plea that tore at the heartstrings: "Robert... please don’t do this... don’t go in... you’ll destroy every beautiful thing left between us."
I replied with a cruelty ant perhaps to convince myself before convincing her, and to close any door to return: "There is nothing between us to be destroyed, Julie... get that through your head."
She asked in a voice filled with oppression and raw ache: "You’re going in to fuck Sarah now, just like that? After last night? After everything you said to ?"
I could see her brokenness tearing her features apart piece by piece, and my heart was aching severely; I felt as if I were stabbing myself with every word I directed at her. But I stripped my voice of any shred of rcy and said maliciously: "Yes... that’s exactly what I’m going to do."
She cried out in a muffled scream filled with despair: "Why? Why are you doing this to ? Why are you trying to kill while I’m still alive?"
I shouted at her sharply to silence the voice of my conscience screaming inside : "It’s no business of yours what I do with my life or who I fuck!"
Her body suddenly tensed, and the look of brokenness in her eyes shifted to a dark, terrifying gleam. She spoke in a tone filled with sincere on: "Robert... if you take one step inside this room..."
I interrupted her with biting sarcasm, trying to belittle her threat: "What? Are you going to repeat the suicide play and threaten to kill yourself again?"
She said, her eyes burning with a rage and despair that made shudder internally: "No... I won’t kill myself... I’ll kill you! I swear, I will kill you!"
I laughed with a poisoned bitterness, shaking my head in mockery, and said: "Go on, dear Julie... go to sleep and stop these delusions."
I pushed the door and entered the room, then slamd it shut behind with a thunderous force, as if I were slamming it in the face of my heart, which was screaming for to go back to her. I expected her to rush in after or scream, but she didn’t... a heavy, desolate silence prevailed outside, a silence more dangerous than any screaming.
Sarah stood in the middle of the room, staring at in a surprise that didn’t last long before a wide, jubilant smile ford on her face. She said softly: "Mr. Robert! You’ve finally co... I’ve missed you so much."
She ran toward and hugged tightly, burying her head in my chest, but I stood with a body as rigid as stone, my hands hanging in the air, refusing even to touch her back. I had foolishly believed I would succeed in escaping Julie’s ghost in the arms of another woman, but my body refused to respond entirely. Sarah leaned in and kissed eagerly; I tried to reciprocate, tried to close my eyes and imagine her as Julie, but I couldn’t... Her kiss felt soulless to tasteless and odorless.
I pushed her away with a gentle but cold firmness, saying in a voice weighted as if mountains were upon my chest: "Sarah... stop... I only ca to sit here for a while... I don’t want anything else."
[My dears, tomorrow is the promised day. I will publish 10 Chapters for you. I want you to show all your support tomorrow because I will be on the list Mass Release tomorrow Your wonderful comnts and reactions will an a lot to because what you will read tomorrow is absolutely insane.
A small note: the Chapters I will publish tomorrow will be very long, between 2200 and 3300 words. Therefore, don’t be surprised by changes in Chapter prices, because we as authors don’t set the price; the platform sets it based on the number of words in the Chapter. This is just a small piece of information so you don’t think I’m the one who raised the price. And always rember, I love you so much. ]
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