"Huh? I didn't expect him to return to the village..."
Konan stopped in her tracks, pulling her straw hat lower.
"I'm going back to the accommodation first," she whispered, her voice tight. "If you can't find a place to stay... well, co to my room."
Konan's peripheral vision had caught a glimpse of a massive white mane of hair disappearing around a corner.
Jiraiya.
After leaving these frantic instructions to Makoto, she vanished into the crowd like a ghost.
Her identity wasn't sothing that couldn't be exposed, but it shouldn't be exposed prematurely.
Jiraiya will asked too many questions, and Konan didn't have the patience to answer them without using paper shuriken.
As for the accommodation Konan ntioned, it was a VIP suite prepared by Konoha for visiting dignitaries.
They didn't have to fight for rooms at the Holiday Inn with the common rabble.
...
While Makoto was busy refusing to bully children, Sunagakure delegation arrived.
It was the classic canon event: Konohamaru, the Hokage's eight-year-old grandson, ran smack into Kankuro.
Kankuro acted like a bully, Gaara showed up looking like an insomniac serial killer, Sasuke tried to look cool in a tree, and everyone threatened everyone else.
The usual teenage angst.
...
A while later.
Naruto and Konohamaru were walking along the streets, kicking rocks.
"Naruto-niichan, that guy with the kitty-cat makeup is a jerk!" Konohamaru shouted, punching the air.
"Starting tomorrow I'm going to train hard! Next ti I see him, I'll definitely teach him a lesson!"
"Yeah! That's the spirit, Konohamaru!" Naruto grinned. "As long as you work hard on the Secret Technique I taught you, dealing with that guy will be a piece of cake. Since I'm free today, we can—Huh?"
Naruto stopped.
He was about to take Konohamaru to a secluded spot to "polish" their Sexy Jutsu, but he spotted a familiar figure in the crowd.
Makoto-san?
Why was he in Konoha again? Was he here for the Exams? Or was he here to blow up another toilet?
After a mont of stunned silence, Naruto shook his head.
Who cares? This is perfect!
"Hehehe..."
A strange, fox-like grin spread across Naruto's face. He wrapped his arm around Konohamaru's neck and whispered into his ear.
"Konohamaru... you know that my Secret Technique works better against stronger ninjas, right? The stronger they are, the harder they fall."
"Mm-hmm! Of course I know that!" Konohamaru nodded vigorously. "My grandfather, and even Ebisu-sensei, were instantly defeated by you!!"
"See that big brother over there?" Naruto pointed discreetly.
"Yeah."
"He's a master I t during my missions," Naruto lied effortlessly. "Even Kakashi-sensei respects him. He's tough. A real tough guy. You get it, right?"
Naruto looked at Konohamaru with a deadly serious expression.
'Understand? Understand what?' Konohamaru froze.
What kind of riddle is this?
Fortunately, Konohamaru—the prodigy who mastered the Rasengan by listening to "Puff-Pop-Pow"—managed to grasp Naruto's aning through sheer telepathy.
"Naruto-niichan... you an we should use this guy as our practice dummy to test the sheer destructive power of our sexy jutsu?"
"Exactly."
The two gremlins snickered and sneaked off into an alleyway to prepare.
All of this was witnessed by Jiraiya, who was "gathering material" nearby.
"That kid is Minato's son, isn't he?" Jiraiya muttered, watching them weave hand signs. "Really... Huh?—HUH?!!!"
Jiraiya's eyes bugged out of his head as smoke cleared in the alleyway.
"They're... they're geniuses!" Jiraiya gasped, clutching his chest. "Such form! Such innovation! It seems like the Will of Fire still burns bright!"
...
anwhile.
Makoto was casually strolling through the market when he ran into two very dangerous, very attractive won.
Kurotsuchi and i Terumi.
Thanks to the "Council for Mutual Economic Assistance," Iwa and Kiri were now thick as thieves.
The two Kage kunoichi were out shopping like best friends.
For i, the Fifth Mizukage, this was her second ti seeing Makoto in the flesh.
"I've only ever heard that the more beautiful a woman is, the more deceptive her words tend to be," i purred, stepping into Makoto's personal space.
"I never expected the sa to be true for handso n."
"In the Land of Waves, you had Zabuza, Kisa, Haku... you played like a fiddle," she whispered, tracing a finger over Makoto's lips.
"If we weren't allies... I'd definitely have to kidnap you and drag you back to the Mist for an interrogation."
"Have you found the Six-Tails?" Makoto asked, completely ignoring the threat of kidnapping.
He didn't retort with, 'If we weren't allies, you'd still be fighting a civil war.'
He kept it polite.
"Found him," i nodded, stepping back. "We settled him in a quiet little garden outside the village. He's safe."
"...Sustained a minor injury while persuading him—well, during our fight," i added casually.
She lifted a corner of her shawl, revealing white bandages wrapped around her lower back. Then she covered it up.
"...You both managed to get injured together?" Makoto raised an eyebrow.
His gaze flicked to Kurotsuchi.
Kurotsuchi's style had gotten a serious upgrade.
Gone was the generic Iwa Ninja uniform. She wasn't wearing the high-slit cheongsam from the "Leg Kage" photo yet, but she was wearing a fitted crimson tunic that showed off her figure.
And right there, peeking out from under her shirt at the waist, were matching bandages.
"I went to see my Jinchuriki too," Kurotsuchi crossed her arms and pouted. "That old stubborn goat Roshi is just like my grandpa. He insisted I'm too young to make decisions. He said the village is still under the old man's control."
"Don't stare," she snapped when she saw Makoto looking at her waist. "Just got a little burn from his Lava Release. It stings like a bitch."
"What? You're not thinking of applying ointnt for us, are you?" Kurotsuchi grinned suddenly, nudging Makoto with her elbow.
"Forget it. Do you think the Mizukage and I don't know the Shadow Clone Technique? We can reach our own backs, thank you very much."
"..."
Just as Makoto was about to criticize Kurotsuchi for being dramatic, two clouds of smoke erupted behind him.
POOF.
Two figures squeezed in front of the trio, shoving Kurotsuchi aside.
"Big brother~ I don't know the Shadow Clone Technique, and I'm injured too! Can you help apply so ointnt~?"
A "woman" with long, flowing golden hair—but with six very distinct whisker marks on her cheeks—struck a suggestive pose in front of Makoto.
" too! too!"
Another "woman"—this one with brown hair and a suspiciously square jaw—twisted her body, trying to press against Makoto.
"My butt just got bitten by a scorpion! Dear brother, could you help suck out the poison for ?"
It had to be said... the biggest flaw in this stupid jutsu was Naruto.
Konohamaru's transformation was decent.
But Naruto's? The whiskers gave it away instantly.
It was like putting a fake mustache on the Mona Lisa!
Makoto watched their performance with dead eyes.
He looked like he wanted to go ho.
"No way!"
Kurotsuchi's face darkened instantly.
She stepped in front of Makoto, putting herself between him and the "girls."
She placed her hands on her hips, radiating Tsuchikage energy.
"You're Konoha ninjas, right? Look at your headbands!" she barked. "If you're injured, go to your damn dical Departnt! Don't co soliciting foreigners on the street! Have so sha!"
"The dical Departnt is too expensive~" Naruto whined in a... kinda sweet voice.
"Yeah, we're from poor families," Konohamaru sniffled.
"This big brother looks like a kind person who's willing to help others! Please, mister, help us~"
The transford duo kept chattering, wiggling closer.
SLAP.
Kurotsuchi pulled out a thick wallet and slamd a stack of cash into Naruto's hand.
"See this?"
She turned sideways, aggressively displaying the Kage hat hanging from her belt.
"I'm the Tsuchikage. She's the Mizukage. And this man?" She pointed a thumb at Makoto. "He has been contracted... uh, requisitioned by us. He's booked solid."
"Our injuries are matters of national security. Yours are matters of being broke."
"Take this money and go solve your problems at the hospital. Or buy so better clothes. Just get lost. Understood?"
Naruto and Konohamaru stared at the wad of cash in their hands.
It was enough to buy Ichiraku Ran for a year!
"U-Understood!"
They grabbed the cash and bolted.
Kurotsuchi exchanged a look with i Terumi.
Without a word, the two powerful kunoichi grabbed Makoto by his arms and dragged him away from the "bitches."
"Konoha is too terrifying," Kurotsuchi muttered as they walked away, shaking her head.
"Are woman here are batshit insane like them?"
---------
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