Afternoon, January 1st, Year 54 of the Hidden Leaf.
Inside the Ran House of the Land of Whirlpools.
After stuffing themselves with dumplings, the three girls had fallen into lively chatter.
Akio thought about joining them, until he noticed Kushina whisper sothing that made Konan blush slightly. Definitely not sothing he needed to walk into.
Which left him, on a festive holiday, stuck entertaining the three trouble-prone boys in front of him.
Switching to his Wise Old Elder mode, he began lecturing them.
"Naruto, listen carefully. Haku is a boy. A boy."
Naruto looked dead inside. Akio's spanking earlier had nearly pulled his pants off.
"I KNOW, Old Man!"
"And stop using that Sexy Technique whenever you feel like it. That stuff is outdated, way outdated. Nothing to brag about."
Akio barely stopped himself from saying 'I invented half of those tricks.'
"I know, I know!"
Akio sighed. The kid always said he understood, then imdiately repeated the sa mistake next ti.
He turned to Kimimaro, who had been quietly watching everything.
"Haku is your teammate. Know what that ans? When your teammate's in trouble, you help them."
He pointed at Naruto. "He is trouble."
"I understand, Lord." Kimimaro nodded with solemn devotion.
"And you, Haku." Akio shifted his gaze. "Being kind is good, but you need to learn how to turn people down. You're too good-looking. Kids like Naruto will swarm around you in the future. If you don't learn to say no, the Land of Whirlpools will collapse under the chaos."
Haku only smiled sweetly, gentle, polite, impossible to fend off.
Akio felt defeated.
"Don't worry, Old Man! I'll protect Sister Haku!" Naruto yelled.
"Sister....SISTER. He's a boy!"
Naruto's correction ca half-hearted and extrely late. Akio noticed the brat's tiny smirk.
"…You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?"
"Ahhh don't hit ! Mom! Help!"
Kushina looked over, saw Naruto getting smacked again and went right back to whispering with Sara without a trace of concern.
Akio didn't hold back; he had loosened one of the Nine-Tails' restraints recently so Naruto could take a hit better. Perfect timing for field-testing.
When the kid's backside was glowing red, Akio finally stopped.
Naruto really was tough; he didn't even cry. He yanked up his pants and scampered straight to Kushina like nothing happened.
Akio just shook his head. Kids were impossible.
"A brat that wild needs a spanking." He glanced at Haku and Kimimaro, imagined the chaos if they acted up, and shuddered. He hurried over toward the girls' group before those thoughts could solidify.
With Naruto joining them, the girls stopped whispering and switched to discussing dumpling fillings. Akio, the chaotic "abstract" chef jumped into the conversation.
"Great-Grandpa, can you put anything inside a dumpling? What about ran?" Kushina asked.
Akio paused, then chuckled. "Of course. You could put tomatoes if you wanted."
Kushina wrinkled her nose. "Not a tomato fan."
Konan tugged on Kushina's sleeve, looking five years younger but sohow radiating big-sister energy.
"Alright, Great-Grandpa," Kushina said, balling her fists with determination, "next ti I'm making ran-stuffed dumplings. You better eat them!"
"No problem," Akio said instantly. They'll just taste like stead bread. I can survive that.
Sara only shook her head. Kushina adored her ran, so of course her first instinct was "ran dumplings."
That sparked a contest of bizarre dumpling fillings. Akio silently prayed for Minato's peace in the afterlife.
By the ti Naruto let out a tiny snore, they finally noticed the sky had grown dark.
"Sara, want ran for dinner?" Kushina asked, still shalessly mooching food.
Sara smiled. "There are still dumplings left. Without Haku, it should be enough for us. I'll boil another batch."
Kushina and Konan exchanged looks and followed imdiately; listening alone wasn't enough to learn.
Akio glanced at the sleeping Naruto, amused. He raised a hand, and Naruto's spiky yellow hair twisted itself into two tiny pigtails.
"There. Uzumaki Naruko. Much cuter now."
Haku inspected the hairstyle curiously, making Akio wonder if he'd gone too far.
Even after waking up to eat, Naruto didn't notice. And every adult present maliciously kept quiet. Kushina even thought it made him adorable.
Once dinner ended and night fully settled, Kushina lifted Naruto.
"Great-Grandpa, Sara, want to walk around the festival? First night is always the liveliest."
Konan added gently, "Co with us, Sensei. Sara, you too."
Akio exchanged a look with Sara, then shook his head.
"Tomorrow. It's too crowded tonight. Our relationship isn't a secret, but no need to make a spectacle of it."
Kushina teased, "Wouldn't it be better if everyone knew? It makes you"
"Out, out, out." Akio cut her off. Married won had no fear, they joked about anything now.
"Fine~ We're going. Naruto! Co on!"
Half-asleep Naruto blinked, glanced between Akio and Sara suspiciously, then trudged after Kushina and Konan.
When they left, only Akio, Sara, Haku, and Kimimaro remained.
Akio hesitated, then asked,
"Daughter… earlier, Konan blushed. Was Kushina teasing her about Nagato?"
Sara nodded with a small smile.
"She's of age now…" Akio sighed. "And what about you?"
She blinked, finally understanding. Seeing her father's conflicted expression, she laughed lightly. "Whatever happens… happens."
Akio frowned. No way was he letting his daughter end up alone for life. "Soone your age… strong, respectable, maybe handso…"
He searched his mind until a red-haired teen appeared: Sasori.
"No, no, no..who knows where he even is. And who knows if he's still… human." Akio shook his head furiously.
Sara looked half-amused. "Father, what on earth are you imagining?"
Akio coughed. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."
Holiday season was no ti for stressful topics. He glanced at the two boys, then at Sara, and suddenly pulled out a deck of cards from nowhere.
"Well then… long night ahead. Ti for the Poker King to teach you kids how to play."
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