Jiraiya strolled leisurely through the forest, grumbling incessantly to himself.
"Hmph, so what if he's top of the class at the academy... big deal."
He looked left and right, his mind actually working for once.
Two bells.
One was on Sensei, and the other was hidden sowhere in the woods.
Try to snatch the one from the teacher?
He wasn't that suicidal. Going head-to-head with the Third Hokage was a one-way ticket to a beating.
But the one in the forest was different. It was a test of scouting ability and luck. And Jiraiya firmly believed that his luck was far superior to Kitahara Kaede's.
"Once I find that bell, let's see how Tsunade can refuse ," he fantasized, his imagination running wild. "Barbecue... Tsunade must look so cute when she eats barbecue..."
He stood there with a goofy grin for a few seconds before shaking his head violently.
"No! Focus! Find the bell first!"
He picked up the pace, weaving through the trees. Three minutes later, he stopped.
About twenty ters ahead, at the base of a large tree, a piece of red string peeked out from under the fallen leaves. A bell hung from the end of the string. Sunlight filtered through the canopy, illuminating the bell perfectly.
Jiraiya froze for a second, and then pure ecstasy washed over him.
"Hahahahaha! Heaven is on my side!"
He slapped his thigh, his voice booming loud enough for the entire forest to hear.
"What's the point of running so fast? I'm the one who found it first!"
Jiraiya bolted forward.
Suddenly, his foot tightened.
*Swish—*
A snare snapped up from beneath the leaves, clamping tightly around his ankle. The other end was attached to a branch overhead, and in an instant, he was yanked upward and left dangling upside down.
"AAAAAAAAHHH!"
Jiraiya hung in mid-air, head down, his white hair cascading downward and his face turning a deep shade of red. He thrashed wildly, like a fish on a hook.
He couldn't reach the rope on his ankle, and his abs weren't strong enough to curl him upward. After struggling for a while, he was simply swinging back and forth in the air.
"Dammit! What a stupid trap!"
The bell lay at the base of the tree, less than three ters away. He could see it, but he couldn't reach it.
Panting, Jiraiya grit his teeth and tried again. This ti, he stopped struggling blindly. His right hand reached for the tool pouch at his waist and pulled out a kunai, slashing at the rope around his ankle.
The angle was awkward. Being upside down ant that even when he extended his arm to the limit, the tip of the kunai only grazed the outer layer of the rope. He strained, his face flushing crimson, until the blade finally caught the edge of the cord.
Just as he was halfway through cutting it—
"Looking energetic."
The voice ca from above.
Jiraiya's hand jerked, and the kunai nearly slipped from his grasp. He looked up—or rather, looked down, since he was inverted.
Kitahara Kaede was squatting on the very branch that held him, hands resting on his knees, peering down at him.
Jiraiya's face turned even redder. It wasn't just the blood rushing to his head—though that played a part—it was because he had been *this close* to cutting the rope.
*This close.*
"I found the bell first!" Jiraiya yelled. "First co, first served! Now help out!"
Kitahara Kaede didn't answer.
'Let you down? Let you take the bell and go on a date with Tsunade?'
Sorry, buddy, I'm not into that kind of plot.
He dropped down from the branch, scanned the ground around the bell, and casually tossed a small pebble toward it. Once he confird there were no other traps, he leaned over and picked up the bell.
The bell gave a crisp, clear chi in his palm.
"You—!" Jiraiya's voice cracked. "Hagoromo Kaede, you bastard! I found it first! You have no sha!"
The curses echoed through the forest, startling a few birds into flight.
Kitahara Kaede gripped the bell and glanced up at him. Jiraiya's face was nearly purple from exertion, still clutching the kunai with the rope partially severed. Give him another twenty seconds, and he really would have broken free.
What Jiraiya didn't realize was that he had lost those twenty seconds with his own mouth. When he shouted "Heaven is on my side," half the forest had heard him—including Kitahara Kaede.
About a minute later, the bushes rustled, and Tsunade erged from the side. A few leaves were caught in her ponytail, and she held a kunai, her expression alert.
"What was that noise? I heard Jirai—"
She stopped.
She saw Jiraiya dangling from the tree, face beet-red, still holding a kunai. And she saw Kitahara Kaede standing beneath the tree, idling with the bell in his hand.
Tsunade's expression shifted from alertness to one of sheer bewildernt.
"...So this idiot stepped in a trap."
"Yep."
Tsunade didn't say much more. Kitahara Kaede held out the bell.
"Here. For you."
Tsunade froze, visibly stunned by the gesture. She stared at his face.
'He's giving the bell to ?'
Jiraiya's earlier words were still ringing in her ears—sothing about winning the bell to go on a date.
He had heard it. So, the reason he ran so fast was to—
Tsunade felt the tips of her ears grow hot. She quickly shut down the thought before it could go any further.
"Take it," Kitahara Kaede said, shaking the bell.
Tsunade continued to stare at him. Kitahara Kaede frowned and waved his hand in front of her face.
"Tsunade?"
Tsunade snapped back to reality. Realizing she had been staring at Kaede for several seconds, her face suddenly flushed.
"Right! Okay!"
She snatched the bell from him, her movents so hurried she almost dropped it. Her voice was half an octave higher than usual. Realizing she sounded strange, she quickly looked down at the bell to avoid his gaze.
Kitahara Kaede watched her for a second.
Flushed ears, darting eyes, and stuttering speech. She was a completely different person from the usual Tsunade who crossed her arms and looked at people with a sideways glare.
In that mont, he thought she was actually kind of cute. He almost reached out to pat her head.
"The other bell is on Sensei. I have an idea, but I'll need your cooperation—"
Tsunade didn't respond.
When Kitahara Kaede looked over, he found her staring at his face again.
"...What exactly are you looking at?"
"Nothing!" Tsunade snapped, abruptly turning her head away. "Tell your plan!"
Her voice was still higher than usual.
From his perch in the tree, Jiraiya saw everything clearly.
Tsunade's ears were red. Tsunade's voice was flustered. And her eyes... they were sparkling, filled with a sort of bewildered confusion.
She had never looked at him like that. Not once.
Jiraiya's nose suddenly began to itch. It felt like sothing red was about to drip.
"Hey! Stop chatting and get down from here!"
Nobody listened to him.
***
Half an hour later.
In front of three wooden posts, Hiruzen stood with his pipe in his mouth. The bell that had been at his waist was gone. He looked at Kitahara Kaede and Tsunade, his gaze deepening with newfound interest.
"The cooperation between you two... exceeded my expectations."
He exhaled a cloud of smoke.
"Kaede, your tactical awareness and split-second judgnt are far beyond what is expected of a Genin."
He paused.
"Tsunade, your chakra control and physical explosiveness are top-tier among your peers."
Tsunade lifted her chin slightly. She suppressed a smile, but the pride in her eyes was unmistakable.
Hiruzen tapped his pipe and put it away.
"Both bells have been retrieved. The test is over."
"Oh, by the way," Tsunade suddenly rembered. "Sensei, where's Jiraiya?"
Hiruzen pointed behind him.
On the middle wooden post, Jiraiya was tied up securely with ropes. His head slumped forward, his white hair was a ss like a bird's nest, and he wore an expression of utter despair.
Big or Small?
"He managed to get himself down, but I used the Clone Technique to tie him up and drag him back," the Third Hokage said calmly. "However, considering he's a ninja who keeps falling for traps that are blatantly obvious, I think leaving him tied up for a while longer would be more educational."
Tsunade walked up to the wooden post. She held up the bell in her hand and jingled it right in front of Jiraiya's eyes.
*Ding.*
"Jiraiya—I win the bet."
Her eyes curved into a mischievous smile. "As expected, you're the one who's out."
Jiraiya's face twitched. Then, he snapped.
"Shut up! You flat-chested brat! Washboard Tsunade!"
Silence fell for a second. One entire second.
The smile froze on Tsunade's face, then slowly vanished. In its place ca an expression that seed to drop the surrounding temperature by several degrees.
"What... did... you... say?"
"You damn pervert!!"
Her fist slamd into the wooden post. A crack split right through the wood. The impact sent Jiraiya—post, ropes, and all—jolting upward, nearly ripping the post out by the roots.
The Third Hokage sighed from behind them.
"Alright, alright, stop fighting." He rubbed his temples. "Kaede, Tsunade, you two head back first. Jiraiya... stay here and reflect on your actions."
Tsunade gave Jiraiya a murderous glare before turning to leave. After a few steps, she looked back and gave a little wave to the bound Jiraiya. The gesture was crystal clear: *Bye-bye, idiot.*
Kitahara Kaede followed after her.
The two of them walked side by side on the way ho. After a while, Tsunade suddenly went silent. Out of the corner of his eye, Kaede noticed her looking down, her gaze fixed on her own chest.
She wasn't looking at him; she was looking at herself.
Tsunade stared at her flat chest for a couple of seconds, her brow furrowing.
They walked a few more paces. There was a small fruit stand by the road, piled high with baskets of fruit of all different sizes. Tsunade's pace faltered.
Then, she spoke abruptly. "Kaede."
"Yeah?"
"When you buy fruit, do you prefer the big ones or the small ones?"
Without a mont's hesitation, Kitahara Kaede answered, "The big ones."
Tsunade stopped dead in her tracks.
Kaede walked a few more steps before realizing she wasn't following. He turned back to look at her. Tsunade stood there with a complex expression on her face—a mixture of anger, grievance, and a desperate urge to punch soone.
Those three emotions collided, culminating in a sharp stomp of her foot.
"Bastard! Find big fruits to walk back with you then!"
She spun around and marched away in great strides, heading in the complete opposite direction of their ho.
Kitahara Kaede stood in the middle of the road. He looked at the fruit stand, then at Tsunade's retreating figure.
'Why wouldn't I pick the big ones when buying fruit?'
He thought about it for three seconds. Then, he rembered what Jiraiya had scread earlier.
*Flat-chested. Washboard.*
Then he rembered the two seconds Tsunade had spent staring at her own chest. And finally, the question: *"Big ones or small ones?"*
A very rare expression appeared on Kitahara Kaede's face—a blend of confusion, sudden realization, and a hint of guilt.
He reached up and scratched the back of his head.
"...She wasn't talking about fruit?"
In the distance, Tsunade rounded a street corner and vanished, the tips of her ears red enough to bleed.
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