Nexus Awakened (An Isekai LitRPG Gender Bender Story) 1118. The Nilhinid Stuck Between Two Worlds

“A bird does not spontaneously grow wings. But a bird that has never know that it is a bird may find their wings. You never considered yourself as a bird? You resemble the embryo of a birdling.”

“Never… I… Had nothing.”

“But an embryo, be it of a bird, or a human, co from a unified state. You are not yet matured.”

“I can show you what you can beco.”

Clothina considered it. She fell into a long lull as her body drifted further into the dark. Amongst the darkness she noticed a pair of golden beads of light watching her. When she strayed close enough to sll the scent of roses, her body suddenly stopped moving.

“… I was given an offer like yours before. I’ve already taken a prewritten persona. That day… on the 1st on the 9th, 325 PA…”

Clothina sealed her eyes, and she reminisced on her eleventh mory.

It was the final mory before she had completely sealed herself away and allowed Beholder Marionette to take her place.

* * *

Twenty-six years ago, shortly after Beholder Marionette had found her one perfect book, she had learned the cost of the Gift she was given.

The Gift she received was a heart-shaped loom called the ‘Fate Threadspinner’.

By feeding it her tears, she was able to craft it into whatever she wished. She also beca able to see the threads coming from the Fate chanism. Those threads carried the sa warmth of her Gift.

She fed those strings into her Gift, and heard the words of her Benefactor, which was one in the sa as the Gift she possessed.

It promised her a thod to remove instinct from herself, Atropos and Lachesis. And if she wished, she could remove the misery of instinct from all those who were tethered to the strings of her Gift, rather than her own.

Indeed. Clothina’s strings were never her own. The string that controlled Act X originated from the Star within the Fate chanism, rather than herself. She rely acted as the diator.

A Living Loom who translated its ssage and relayed them to her Actors as Commandnts.

But it ca at a cost.

Shortly after receiving her Gift, she was tasked with one command before she could live the rest of her life as Marionette. That cost was Nex. She did not know was Nex was, nor how it could be harvested.

She heeded the commandnt of her Gift…

… And she found herself in the center of a human settlent.

Clothina witnessed one of the largest unwritten massacres in Elysa from start to finish.

Three hundred thousand humans were reduced to a liquid paste. She did not know at the ti, and neither did Atropos, that this settlent belonged to the father of her Healer mother.

Three hundred thousand humans beca the essence required to fuel Clothina nearly indefinitely. The tears that spilled that day – on the 1st of the 9th, 325 PA – ford the shell that was Beholder Marionette, molded by Lachesis’ trembling hands.

It was the eleventh mory of Clothina.

The red spray that coated the ruins of that Kingdom beca the first for Marionette.

The mory was overlayed with the voice of her first mother – Sammy, the Angel of Lust.

“The embryo~ Hmhmhmhm. Pwaaaaaah. Anid. A Celestial Anid, no less, checked off my list.”

“Ma’am. The embryo of an Anid cannot hatch without an incubator.” A second voice hastily responded.

“Hmm. Indeed. Go on. Find a Healer. Make it snappy.”

“I must apologize. There are no Healers willing to give their wombs to an Anid. These woodlands cherish them.”

“Make good use of your body. We can send in Sins. Homunculi. Increase the birthrates of monsters here and there. Tamper with so minds. It shouldn’t be long before a Healer finds themselves either chased out or forced to submit to an Anid for protection. Healers have no dignity.”

“Shall we rouse the Demon offensive?”

“Unnecessary. The Eternal War of the South continues with or without our intervention. A Healer will only fall into a Demon’s hands, rather than to an Anid’s. Hmhmmmm~ New World Angels are not well versed in the art of reproduction, despite their wombs being nonselective. Pity, that they lack the reproductive instincts of an Elf. Take one from Inflow Direct if you must. It would be a sha if one of my children were to die stillborn.”

“As you wish.”

* * *

With Clothina fueled, and with Marionette strung by her Gift, Act X began by converting nearby settlents to their ranks.

Suffering disappeared. The helplessness of humanity was cured by granting them a new purpose. Hunger, the need to hunt, reproduction, family… None of it was necessary.

The instincts that saw humans war with Demons also could be cured with the Strings.

From that day onward, Beholder Marionette sought nothing but to appease her Gift and bring the world towards the fated Tenth Act. Clothina, who resided within Marionette, believed that it was a cure for the masses who were unfairly born into their roles.

Hence, they were called Actors once they were given a Script.

* * *

Clothina had nothing to live for outside of being Beholder Marionette. She beca dependent on her shell at so point. Being a Healer also ant that she was incapable of certain actions. But so long as she was being controlled by her Gift, then everything was fine.

Her eyes focused on an obscure point in the darkness and whispered:

“I am Clothina, a Nilhinid wishing she could reach back to touch her mother’s face. I have no regrets. You will have to kill to change who I am. Even if I were to die, Beholder Marionette will continue without .”

“You are nothing without the strings of the Star?”

“Is that how you see yourself?”

“I have never given it much thought beyond this. If I were to confirm it, then there will be no coming back. I despise that it’s not so simple.”

Elysia lood over her. Her skin shed with the dark background, causing her eyes to give the illusion of a pair of stars.

“It would be easier to give in.”

“To give into purpose would be a fitting end of Clothina. A puppet, hoisted on strings… No thought to make. No mories of mine to reminisce. A translatator for the Strings and only the Strings of my benefactor. I’ve relied on it. It gave everything I wanted…”

“Then, tell , Clothina. What are you?”

“I am…”

She trailed off. The answer was on the tip of her tongue, but it refused to leave her lips. Her chest heaved before it went flat. She did not breathe for what seed like minutes. When she finally found the conviction to answer and give in, the sound of birds interrupted her.

“Despite this, you only allowed your shell to beco tethered.”

“Why did you choose to hide than to allow yourself to be puppeted?”

It was the Amalgam’s voice. Her radiance was a physical manifestation of her presence, and the light pulsed with every word she spoke. It was a warm light; a type of warmth she had never felt…

… It was uncomfortable.

She had associated love with the cold touch of her mother. Warmth only ca from the freshly slain. Then she realized that it was not Frost’s warmth. Rather, it was the sun. She had lived all her life beneath the shade of the Nest, the shadow of the Anids, and the cold light of the Fate chanism.

Then, the darkness within Marionette.

“Why indeed...”