“Teddy,” Alex said through clenched teeth. He knew Teddy couldn’t hear him, but he couldn’t help himself. It felt like it had been years since the last ti he’d seen his forr best friend. But, unsurprisingly, Teddy looked exactly the sa as he always had. That was sohow rather infuriating. The entire world had changed, but he had sohow managed to remain exactly the sa.
“I bet you’ve got so questions,” Teddy said. He sat down on an invisible chair before leaning back and crossing one leg over the other. “Man, I wish I could see your face right now.”
“No, you don’t,” Alex said. “I’d punch your shit in. Why’d you shove into hell after I saved your ass, you dickhead?”
“Why indeed?” Teddy mused.
Alex stiffened.
What? Did he just answer my question? That can’t be right. Finley said that this was just a recorded ssage. There’s no way he—
“It is,” Teddy said. His smug grin widened. “Recorded, that is. We aren’t actually having a normal conversation. There isn’t really a trick. You’ve just always been a bit predictable, Alex.”
Alex’s eyes narrowed. He clamped his mouth shut and stared at Teddy. He wasn’t so sure he believed a single word coming out of the bastard’s mouth. If this was actually a recording, then Teddy would probably say so snarky shit in a mont in response to an answer that Alex had no plans of giving.
Several seconds dragged by.
Then Teddy snickered.
“How’s the silence treating you? You were never much a fan of it. I imagine you’re probably shivering in wait for to say sothing right about now to see if you can catch out. Or have you already jumped the gun? No. I don’t imagine you have.”
Goddamn it.
Alex’s eye twitched.
“You are one annoying prick when you want to be,” Alex inford Teddy. The best way to win a ga like this was to not play at all. It didn’t matter if the ssage was recorded or not. He’d just treat it like a normal conversation. “What do you want, Teddy?”
“You realize he can’t respond, right?” Finley asked.
“Hush,” Claire said. “Let him concentrate.”
Teddy’s grin faded slightly. He leaned forward on his chair and braced his elbows against his knees, interlacing his fingers.
“But this is why I always liked you, Alex. You do shit. Even when you don’t realize you’re doing shit, you do it. You rember that bullshit final Dr. Freeman’s gave? The one you stole the answer sheet for by catfishing him as that one chick in our class? God, that was funny. I’m pretty sure we were the only ones that passed that exam.”
Alex did rember. He really hadn’t wanted to study for that particular test. It had been painfully easy getting the answer sheet out of the old, insufferable teacher that seed to take pride in failing just about everyone he could.
Once he got the sheet, it had been a simple matter to make sure he got just enough questions right to pass — but not so many as to make it clear that he’d cheated. It hadn’t been his proudest mont, but it would have been lying to say that he felt particularly bad about it.
Dr. Freeman had been a dickwad.
But Teddy had passed that exam too. He hadn’t even looked at the answer sheet that Alex had slipped him. Teddy had just strolled into class, taken the exam, and sohow passed with flying colors.
There had been a lot of ways that everything could have gone wrong. Alex was pretty sure sheer dumb luck had saved his ass. Dr. Freeman definitely would have been suspicious that one of his most average students had randomly gotten a B on an exam that everyone else had failed had he not co down with e-coli poisoning that landed him in the hospital for weeks after the exam.
By the ti Dr. Freeman had gotten out of the hospital, university grades for the year had already been finalized. That had been that. The old man had better things to do than sniff around an old exam — especially when he had new students to creep on.
“Yes,” Alex said, sowhat pointlessly. “What does that have to do with anything?”
Teddy shook his head. “No matter. You know how it is. Sotis things work out. Sotis life just finds a way. You know what I an?”
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not ant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
“Life finds a way? That’s what you say when so idiot teen gets their girlfriend pregnant, dude. Not about the apocalypse. And it certainly isn’t what you say to the guy you shoved into hell for no reason at all.”
A shrill beep cut through the air. Teddy glanced down at his watch. The final remnants of his smile fell away as he blew out a tired sigh.
“But sotis it doesn’t,” Teddy said. “Sotis life fucks up. And then there’s nobody left to pick up the pieces but us. Doesn’t feel like our job. It isn’t, really. But we don’t get much of a choice in the matter.”
“Is this all how you’re going to sohow work up to justifying shoving into hell? You wanted to get control of your life back or sothing?”
“I didn’t push you into the Mirrorlands just to get so semblance of control back,” Teddy continued. “Though I’m sure it might seem that way.”
“Then why?” Alex demanded.
“And I’d imagine you’re wondering, if that wasn’t the reason I shoved you — then what was?”
“Yes,” Alex said. “What an astute observation. The person who you tried to kill wants to know why the hell you did it. That’s brilliant, Teddy. An impressive deduction. You might be a mastermind hidden in broad daylight.”
The corner of Teddy’s lips twitched. “It’s not because I wanted you dead.”
“Wow. You could have fooled .”
“Perhaps it seems that way right now,” Teddy said. “And I don’t bla you for thinking poorly of for doing it.”
“So are you going to say why?” Alex asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Or are you going to just vaguely hint at it and then skip past the part where you do anything useful at all?”
“I’m not going to tell you,” Teddy said. “Not here, at least. Not like this. After all, it doesn’t really feel like the kind of conversation you have over the phone. It’s like breaking up with your long term girlfriend via text ssage. Not cool, yeah?”
“I can think of a number of things that weren’t cool,” Alex said. “So fucking answers would not fall in that list, no matter how they ca about. What was the point of any of this if you’re literally just going to waffle around? Did you just want to waste my ti?”
Teddy raised his hands before himself. “Hey. Co on. No point doing things half-assed, is there? To be honest, and as I’m sure you’re already voicing, there really wasn’t that much of a point for to contact you like this. I guess I just wanted to swing by. Let you know I’m still kicking.”
“Unless you’ve died since sending this,” Alex muttered.
“I haven’t,” Teddy said. “I’m still alive. Just in case you were wondering. Trust on that.”
Alex’s eyes narrowed.
Damn. Am I seriously this predictable? That… kind of hurts. I really have to work on that.
“I’m not inclined to trust you on much of anything,” Alex said. “Especially when you don’t even have the guts to show yourself properly. Sending this pre-recorded ssage where half of your lines are just screwing around cos off pretty disingenuous.”
“Not that you’d want to trust on much,” Teddy continued. He shook his head. “But that’s how it is sotis. You gotta deal with the Dr. Freemans in your way, and I’ll deal with them in mine.”
What’s that ant to an? Teddy just showed up and aced the exam because he already knew all the material. Is he trying to imply he’s going to stroll his way to victory? God, that’s insufferable.
“Great. Good talk,” Alex said. “Lots of help. I’m going to punch you twice, now. Just so you know.”
Another beep cut through the air.
How many damn alarms can he set on that thing?
“Would you look at that?” Teddy asked. “Damn. I let myself blabber. I was hoping to talk a bit longer, but it looks like we’re out of ti. Look, I’ve got two important things I want to say before we’re done here. I’m on a bit of a ti limit.”
Maybe you should have started with the important shit instead of aura farming for a few minutes.
“Oh, shut it,” Teddy said.
Alex’s eyes lit up and a smug grin crossed his face. “Hah! You read wrong. I didn’t say anything.”
I just thought it.
“Look,” Teddy said. “I want to tell you more. I do. But it can’t be like this. It has to be in person. So co find . We’ve got a lot to talk about.”
“You can say that again,” Alex said, his fists clenched. “I’d have found your ass already if I knew where—”
“You already know where to find ,” Teddy said. “And you’re actually strong enough to make it here.”
“I do not,” Alex said. He threw his hands up into the air. “Don’t do that shit. Tell where the hell you are.”
“You do know where to find , right?” Teddy asked. He tilted his head to the side. “It would be awkward if you didn’t. But I’m sure you’ll figure it out eventually if you haven’t already. Just keep at what you’ve been doing.”
“Goddamn it,” Alex snarled. “Don’t screw with , man. Seriously. What is your problem? Did you binge the Saw movies when I wasn’t ho or sothing? Why all the riddle shit?”
Teddy slapped his hands against his knees. Then he rose to his feet.
“Whelp,” Teddy said. “That’s just about all the ti I’ve got. I have soone to kill. Busy tis, you know. Don’t keep waiting for long.”
“Wait!” Alex exclaid, taking a step toward Teddy. “There’s no way you can just leave without giving at least so kind of—”
“Oh!” Teddy said, his eyes lighting up. “The last thing. Right. Almost forgot.”
“What? Did you forget so vague mystical warning that’ll haunt my dreams? Because that’s basically the only thing you’re missing on in your scuffed Sage ntor cosplay.”
Teddy adjusted his shirt. His gaze moved to et Alex’s. A smile pulled up one half of his lips. “Nice tux, man. Who would have thought the apocalypse would make you fashionable? Keep it up.”
Alex froze.
“What?”
“Anyway. That’s all for now. Until next ti,” Teddy said.
Then he was gone.
Alex stared at the spot where Teddy’s apparition had been a mont before. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end.
How did he know I’m wearing a tux?
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