I haven’t gotten far when Raymond ca out to et outside and blocked my path. He just stood there, tall and unmoving, watching silently with those dark eyes that always made it impossible for to breathe properly.
"I am sorry I appeared in front of you. I will do my best not to do that next ti," I said stiffly. "Can I pass now? You don’t have to block my way or warn ."
"You think this is about you showing up in front of ?" he asked, clearly surprised, and even more angry that I did not know why he was blocking my way.
"I’m sorry, Raymond, that I don’t know why you are angry, but can you please move away and let through? I’m not ready for all..." I made a vague hand gesture, pointing from his head down to his toes. "...these."
"Oh, you are not ready for , but you are ready for the boy you were discussing with a couple of minutes ago," he said, starting to make his way closer to .
"Is this because of that? Are you being this insensitive because of that?" I asked incredulously. "Can’t you see we were just admiring the artwork together? And why do you even care? Rember you said you don’t want anymore. So why are you suddenly angry with for hanging out with soone else?"
I could not keep the irritation out of my voice. After everything he had put through, he did not get to question .
"Would you stop coming close to , Raymond? I’m not in the mood."
I tried to stop him, putting a hand between us, but he refused to stop. He kept coming closer, his steps slow but determined.
When he did not stop, panic flashed through . The only thing that ca to my mind was to run.
So I ran.
I bolted, trying to get away from him, my heart racing wildly in my chest. But that did not stop him.
I heard his footsteps behind as he pursued easily.
I did not get far before he caught up.
"You think you can run away from with those small legs of yours?" I heard him say before suddenly being lifted off the ground.
"Put down this instant, Raymond!" I demanded while breathing heavily.
I noticed a small smile on his face before it quickly vanished. He was not even out of breath like I was.
"I don’t want you dressing like this again," he said firmly, "or talking to strangers, or any man for that matter."
As he spoke, he tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear with a strangely gentle motion.
"Why, Raymond? Why wouldn’t you want that?" I asked, hope blooming painfully inside my chest.
"Why wouldn’t you want talking to n?" I asked again when he did not answer.
He opened his mouth as if to say sothing, but the words never ca out. Instead, he dropped down gently and shoved both of his hands into his pockets.
The silence between us suddenly felt heavy.
"I think, Raymond... this ti around, it is that doesn’t want you to appear in front of again."
"What did you say, Lena?" he asked, shock evident on his face.
"You heard right, Raymond. I don’t want you to appear in front of again. I’m tired of your bullshit. If you cannot accept that you feel the sa way about , then you are a coward."
"What did you just call ?" he asked slowly.
"I said you are a coward," I repeated without hesitation. "And I don’t want a coward in my life. So bye-bye, and have a nice life."
I turned to walk away, but Raymond suddenly caught my hand, spinning around so quickly that I fell right back into his arms.
Before I could react, he pulled closer.
"Let show you just how I feel when I’m around you. Restrained doesn’t make a coward"
And then his lips crashed against mine.
The kiss was sudden and overwhelming. I tried to struggle, pushing against his chest, but he held tight, forcefully kissing as if he was trying to pour every unsaid emotion into that mont.
Another day, I would have happily succumbed to him.
But today... today he disgusted .
Anger surged through , and I bit his lower lip hard.
The kiss stopped instantly.
The mont his lips left mine, I raised my hand and slapped him across the face.
The sound echoed sharply in the quiet street.
His head turned to the side from the impact, but he slowly looked back at calmly, disbelief written all over his face. Yet he did not say anything.
He did not move.
"I hate you, Raymond," I said, my voice trembling.
"I hate that you ca into my life. I hate that I trusted you like a fool. And I also hate myself for hoping that you would co back."
The words rushed out of my mouth without any filter.
"I don’t want to have anything to do with you again. This is goodbye, Raymond. Have a good life."
I turned and walked away.
I saw the hurt in his eyes before I left, but I did not care.
I was so done with his charade and shenanigans.
Surprisingly, this ti he did not follow . He did not even move.
Tears flowed freely from my eyes as I made my way ho. I just began walking aimlessly without waiting for Sylvia or trying to get a taxi.
My heart felt unbearably heavy.
"I just broke up with Raymond..."
The thought repeated endlessly in my head.
After walking for a while, I squatted by the roadside and began sobbing uncontrollably.
I couldn’t do this anymore.
I think I need to return to York City. Maybe there I can heal without seeing his face everywhere I go.
With that newfound plan, I decided to hail a taxi, go back to Sylvia’s house, pack all my things, and return ho.
My mind felt slightly clearer as I wiped my tears away.
I hailed the first taxi that ca along and got in.
I gave the driver the directions and leaned back against the seat.
Soon, I couldn’t breathe.
My chest tightened, and my eyes suddenly beca hot and itchy.
"Sir, can you please stop the car ? I cannot breathe..."
The driver sighed muttering silent curses before stopped the car and turned around and opened the door for .. I began throwing up imdiately the door opened..
He insisted I pay him that for half of the ride and drove off without care in the world
After throwing I found a place by the side of the road and sat down then I called Sylvia and she picked up after the first ring. worry etched in her voice.
*******
I stood there and watched her leave.
But I did not stop her.
In a way, she was right.
I was a coward.
I couldn’t face my feelings or my past. Instead, I just kept hurting myself, and the one person in my life I cared about the most.
I touched the side of my face where she had slapped earlier and let out a quiet breath.
I knew I was not going to sleep tonight.
So I quietly made my way to the club, the only place where I could drink away my sorrow and hopefully wake up to a better tomorrow.
I decided to go alone because Damon and Liam were not on good talking terms with right now.
Bottle after bottle passed in front of .
Yet even through the haze of alcohol, one question kept echoing endlessly in my mind.
Why does everybody think I’m in love with Lena?
The thought refused to leave no matter how much I drank.
And deep down, a part of was terrified that maybe... just maybe... they were right.
After drinking for hours nonstop, I finally picked myself up and made my way ho. My driver had to practically guide out of the car before leaving. I staggered inside the house, walking around haggardly, my steps uneven and heavy.
"They are all liars... I don’t love Lena," I muttered drunkenly, my voice echoing faintly in the quiet house. "For what it’s worth, I only cared about her because of the contract. That’s all it was... just the contract."
I let out a bitter laugh, rubbing my face with trembling hands.
"But if that’s true... why do I care that she is with another tonight? Why does it hurt so much?" I asked myself hoarsely as my legs finally gave in and I collapsed onto the couch in the sitting room.
"Because you love her, grandson."
A calm voice rose from the darkness.
I squinted through my blurred vision and slowly made out the figure of my grandfather sitting quietly across the room, as if he had been there the entire ti, silently watching.
"Grandpa... you are here? I didn’t notice you," I said with a sorrowful smile, my chest tightening painfully. "Why does my heart ache so much, Grandpa? I haven’t felt this way in years."
My voice dropped to a whisper, fragile and uncertain.
"I have never felt this lonely without her," I confessed, too afraid to even ntion her na aloud.
"It is because you love her," my grandfather said again, his voice steady and knowing. "I can see it clearly in your eyes."
I sat there quietly, staring at the floor as the weight of his words settled over .
"What do I do, Grandpa?" I finally asked helplessly. "I ruin everything."
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