One Piece: My Lazy Ass Made Akainu Mad Chapter 106: The World's Headlines

Marine Headquarters, Fleet Admiral's Office.

Fleet Admiral Sengoku felt a vein in his forehead throbbing uncontrollably… worse than during the Summit War when Whitebeard shattered the ground.

He gripped the receiver of the Den Den Mushi tightly as Vice Admiral Onigumo reported the details of that outright absurd "encounter battle" in a voice trembling with awe, confusion, and a hint of trauma.

"...Yes, Fleet Admiral. Charlotte Daifuku's entire fleet... just... vanished."

"Vanished?"

Sengoku rubbed his temples, trying to understand what that word was supposed to an.

"Was it sunk? Does the Endless Sheep's main cannon have that much power?"

Onigumo, on the other end, fell silent for several seconds, searching for a phrasing that wouldn't make him sound insane.

"No, Fleet Admiral. It wasn't sunk… it just… 'couldn't be bothered to exist anymore.'"

"..."

He was now certain one of them had gone insane.

"I'll submit the written report shortly," Onigumo's voice also sounded full of self-doubt. "Also, Admiral Haiiroyō asked to relay a ssage. He believes this operation fully embodies the Marines' noble ideals of 'softening hearts' and 'turning conflict into harmony,' and suggests Headquarters promote this 'zero-casualty' thod of peaceful resolution."

Click.

Sengoku hung up the Den Den Mushi with an expressionless face.

He needed quiet.

However, the quiet didn't last long. An adjutant knocked on the door, holding a report just received from G-5 via encrypted transmission.

The writer was Potts. The format was textbook-perfect, the tone formal and precise, standard marine reporting.

The content, however, made Sengoku's eye twitch violently.

"...By employing 'Non-Contact Tactical Deterrence' as the strategic core, Admiral Haiiroyō successfully persuaded high-ranking enemy officer Charlotte Daifuku to recognize the error of his ways. Through the Admiral's reasoning and gentle dialogue, the enemy voluntarily surrendered and cooperated in the transfer of 'spoils of peace'…"

"List of spoils: Three crates of Totto Land,-exclusive Rainbow Frosting, one hundred seventeen blocks of top-grade Life Chocolate, five barrels of 'mory Cream…"

The item list was three tis longer than the battle description.

Sengoku put the report down and slumped into his chair.

He was not reading a battle report; he was reading a dessert inventory list.

He was now 100% certain: that bastard Renzo only set out on this mission to steal Big Mom's sweets.

"Using an Admiral's authority to steal a Yonko's snacks..." Sengoku muttered to himself, overwheld by an unprecedented sense of absurdity.

"What is this ocean... turning into...?"

.....

New World, Totto Land, Whole Cake Island

Inside the massive Homies-filled castle, the atmosphere was suffocating, like the sea before a storm.

Charlotte Linlin, BIG MOM, sat on her huge throne, not a trace of her usual cheerfulness on her face. Only smoldering fury.

Kneeling before her were a few of Daifuku's surviving n who had not been captured. They trembled as they recounted the nightmare.

"...A-and that's what happened, Mama. Brother Daifuku's fleet… just vanished! That Marine Admiral… he's a monster!"

But this was not the part Big Mom cared about.

"What did you say?" Her voice was low, terrifying, hell's own rumble.

"My 'Life Chocolate'… and the 'Rainbow Frosting' for the tea party… were all stolen?!"

"Y-yes, Mama…"

"Stolen… by that Haiiroyō… who ATE IT in front of Daifuku?!"

"Y-yes…"

BOOOOM!!!

A wave of terrifying soul-pressure exploded outward, shaking the entire castle.

The Homies scread and dove for cover like terrified children.

"MAMAMAMAMA!!!"

Big Mom's thunderous laugh shook the island, but there was no joy in it, only rage.

"Marine… 'Haiiroyō'?! How dare he steal MY SNACKS?! Unforgivable! Absolutely UNFORGIVABLE!!"

She rose to her feet, eyes blazing with hunger and wrath.

"Protheus! Zeus!"

A mini sun and a storm cloud surrounded her.

"Find him! Dig up everything about that Haiiroyō!"

"Mamma will hunt him down herself, and bake him AND his kitchen into the most delicious Soul Fruit Tart the world has ever seen!!!"

.....

anwhile, G-5 Base

Peaceful. Unnaturally peaceful.

Ever since the Admiral Haiiroyō erased a Yonko officer's fleet, news returned,and every marine at G-5 looked at Renzo like he was a divine being.

They were deeply grateful that the only punishnt they had ever received was "no at"… and not being "erased out of laziness."

Thus, Renzo's "Three Don't" policy beca sacred scripture.

The base was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

Fifty ters around the kitchen had been declared holy ground, no loud noises, no unnecessary walking, no disturbances of any kind.

All paperwork was handled by Potts with machine-like efficiency; no one dared deliver a single shred of annoyance to the Admiral napping on the sofa.

Inside the kitchen was a completely different world.

Sanji was in culinary heaven, shouting instructions at Potts and several lucky helpers.

"Potts! The Rainbow Frosting lts slowly in warm water, no direct heat or you'll ruin the layers!"

"You! Yes, you, whip that mory Cream to seventy percent! See? Like this, soft peaks with a nice bend!"

The whole kitchen overflowed with bliss and busy energy.

Renzo, sprawled lazily on a nearby sofa, let the sweet aroma lull him into sleep.

He had just finished Sanji's "Molten Chocolate Heart," made with Life Chocolate and mory Cream, richer than anything Sengoku had ever gifted him.

Content and drowsy, he prepared for a three-hour premium nap.

He had no idea that his mont of "snack craving" had thrown the outside world into chaos…

Nor did he know his na had already hit the front page of the World Economy News Paper.

{A Demonic God? Marine New Admiral 'Haiiroyō' Erases a Yonko Fleet with a Single Word!"}

The photo beneath: The Endless Sheep's sail.

The contrast between the adorable sail and the bloodthirsty headline shocked the world.

...

Dressrosa

Doflamingo stared at the newspaper, the smile wiped off his face.

"Erased… an entire fleet?"

He muttered. The threads on his fingers pulled taut unconsciously.

"Fufufufu… Vergo, it seems we need to make a small adjustnt."

He picked up a Den Den Mushi and dialed.

"It's , Vergo."

"Young Master."

"Abandon all direct probing of this 'Haiiroyō.'"

Doflamingo's voice was grave, unusually so.

"From this mont on, classify him as an uncontrollable, top-tier natural disaster."

"Your mission is now singular."

"Before he even suspects the existence of the SAD facility, relocate Caesar Clown and all his research from Punk Hazard… in secret."

"We can't afford to provoke a monster like that."

.....

If you enjoy the story, my p@treon is 30 chapters ahead.

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