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Now reading: Chapter 264: The New World’s “Headline Joke” and a Deal in t from One Piece: My Lazy Ass Made Akainu Mad, a Action novel by DaoistJinzu.

New World, morning.

Usually, mornings in this sea are accompanied by crashing waves, the roars of sea beasts, and the groans of hungover pirates. But today, things were a little different.

The sky had turned white.

Not clouds. Not snow.

But… News Coo birds.

Thousands upon thousands of News Coo birds, as if mobilized under the highest-level order, swept across every island and every ship in the New World.

They frantically tossed newspapers from their beaks, more like a "free mass distribution."

"Coo! (Today's paper is free! A big client booked everything!)"

"Coo! (Not just free, there are bonuses too! Each copy cos with a 'G-5 Special Spiritual Civilization Campaign' flyer!)"

This unusual scene left countless early risers stunned.

"Hey, what's going on? Did that money-grubber Morgans suddenly change his ways?"

"Newspapers falling from the sky? Quick, see what big news it is! Did the Four Emperors start a war?"

People picked up the papers one after another.

However, the mont their eyes landed on the front page, the entire New World seed to freeze for a second.

Then, a wave of laughter erupted, loud enough to overturn the seas.

The Kid Pirates, aboard the Victoria Punk.

The ship was sailing far away from Fish-Man Island.

The atmosphere onboard, however, was unusually lively.

"Hahahaha! That was satisfying!"

Kid sat on an iron barrel on the deck, gulping down rum. His chanical left arm was slightly worn, but it only made him look fiercer.

"Those Marines, that so-called G-5, are all talk!"

Kid laughed arrogantly. "Talking about declarations of war and punishnt, and in the end? They just watched walk away! Didn't even dare to fart!"

"Exactly!" his crew echoed. "Boss is aweso! That Commander Barton looked like his face turned green!"

"Where's Killer? Killer!"

Kid was in a great mood. "Did today's newspaper arrive? Bring it here! The news of wrecking Fish-Man Island must have spread worldwide by now, right? My bounty's definitely going up! Maybe it'll break 400 million!"

He was full of anticipation.

After all, he had smashed the territory of Haiiroyo, such a feat had to make headlines!

However, in a corner, Killer held a freshly dropped stack of newspapers, his whole body trembling violently.

Behind his mask, his expression couldn't be seen, but his grip on the paper had turned his knuckles white.

"K-Kid…"

Killer's voice sounded dry… even tinged with fear.

"What's wrong?" Kid frowned. "Did it increase so much it scared you? Hahaha! Hand it over!"

"Don't… don't look…"

Killer tried to hide it behind his back. "This… this newspaper might be fake… a prank…"

"Cut the crap! Give it here!"

With an impatient wave, Kid activated his magnetism. The newspaper flew straight into his hand.

"Hmph. Let see how these news birds are praising …"

He unfolded the paper and looked at the front page.

The next second, Kid's smile froze.

As if his facial nerves had been struck by two hundred million volts of electricity, completely locked in place.

On the most eye-catching spot of the front page, there wasn't his usual bold and imposing bounty photo.

Instead,

It was an extrely sleazy, blurry, even ridiculous snapshot.

It was a shot of his back as he turned and ran on Fish-Man Island. And from that angle… it perfectly captured a patch on his pants.

Above it, in bold, blood-red headline letters with decorative flourishes, like a curse burned into the page:

{Exclusive! The "Poorest" Pirate in the New World , "Destroyer" Eustass Kid!]

{Subtitle: A "Supernova" who fled after failing to pay renovation fees? G-5 issues a "debt collection notice"!}

"What… is this…"

Kid's hands began to tremble, his eyes bloodshot.

He read further.

Each word stabbed like a knife: {"It is reported that the self-proclaid 'Captain' Eustass Kid, while touring Fish-Man Island, was unable to pay dining and damage compensation fees, and resorted to the most disgraceful thod, dining and dashing!"}

{"G-5 Chief Steward Rehn stated: 'This is an insult to the profession of piracy! Even mountain bandits know to pay after eating! This behavior is childish and inefficient!'"}

{"In light of his despicable refusal to pay debts, and to recover coral repair costs, Marine Headquarters has urgently adjusted Eustass Kid's bounty!"}

Below the article, a brand new bounty poster.

Still that fleeing back-view photo.

And the number…

฿ 2,500,000

Millions… just two hundred fifty thousand? No, two million five hundred thousand.

Not 400 million.

Not 300 million.

Not even 30 million.

2.5 million Berries!!

In the New World, that wasn't even enough to buy a decent Devil Fruit peel!

It wasn't even worth more than a slightly strong sea beast in the East Blue!

"Pfft!!!"

A nearby crewmate couldn't hold it in and spat out his drink.

"Two… two?!"

"..."

Kid stared at the number.

His brain roared. His sanity burned. His dignity was crushed underfoot by that fat man Rehn, ground into dust, and spat on!

"Rehn…"

His voice sounded like a demon crawling out of hell.

"Renzo…"

"ARE YOU KIDDING !!!!"

BOOOOOOM!!!

A violent magnetic storm erupted instantly!

All tal on the Victoria Punk, cannons, railings, utensils, even buttons on the crew's clothes, were twisted, compressed, and exploded by the overwhelming force!

"2.5 million?!!!"

"I'm a 400 million pirate!!! I'm the man who will beco Pirate King!!!"

"And you dare… you dare treat like so two-bit nobody?!!!"

Kid's eyes turned blood-red, tears of humiliation mixed with blood streaming down.

He had lost it.

Completely driven insane with rage.

This was worse than death.

Worse than being thrown into Impel Down.

This was nailing him to a pillar of sha for the entire world to laugh at forever!

"G-5!!!"

Kid roared to the heavens.

"I swear to destroy YOU!"

"Boss! Calm down! The ship's falling apart!!"

"That's the steering wheel! Don't crush it!!"

anwhile, at G-5 Base.

"Ah-choo!"

Rehn sneezed and rubbed his nose.

He sat in his office, sipping morning tea while reading the sa newspaper, a satisfied smile on his face.

"Mm. Money well spent."

Looking at the "2.5 million" figure, he chuckled.

"Buying off that bird Morgans to distribute this worldwide cost quite a bit of private savings."

"But…"

Imagining Kid's current expression, he couldn't help but laugh.

"This is the price of offending Lord Renzo."

"I won't kill you, I'll disgust you to death."

"Chief Rehn!"

Potts walked in with a docunt. He glanced at the newspaper and twitched. "Y-you really did this?"

"Of course."

Rehn set the paper down, looking serious.

"This is strategy. Psychological warfare. Understand?"

"Make that brat lose his mind in anger and humiliation. Next ti he faces us, he'll expose flaws due to impulsiveness."

"This is… efficient preemptive striking."

Potts wiped his sweat.

He thought: 'This is just petty revenge…'

'But honestly, it was brutally effective.'

…..

Back in the New World, on Blade's Edge Rock Island.

Morning mist shrouded the rust-scented island.

At an abandoned dock, waves slapped against rotting wooden posts.

A thin figure huddled in the shadows, trembling, Aji.

He clutched a grease-stained package, glancing around nervously, his face stuck in an uncontrollable stiff smile.

"Ahaha… why aren't they here yet… ahaha… so cold…"

He had been waiting all night.

Every second was agony.

If Kaido's patrol found him, he'd be executed imdiately.

Just as despair set in, "Step… step…"

Soft footsteps echoed through the mist.

Aji jerked his head up.

A cloaked man, face hidden, appeared like a ghost.

Doflamingo's agent, Suzu.

"You the one… who said you had 'big goods'?"

Suzu's voice was low, scrutinizing.

"Y-yes! Ahaha!"

Aji stood, nearly collapsing from numb legs.

"I… I have it… good stuff…"

"Cut the nonsense."

Suzu interrupted coldly. "Show it. If it's just a normal Zoan, you're fish food. Young Master's ti is valuable."

Aji tremblingly handed over the package.

"H-here… here… ahaha…"

Suzu took it, frowning at the sll of oil.

He carefully unwrapped the layers.

When the final cloth ca off, Buzz

The air seed to dim.

A dark purple fruit, covered in swirling patterns, deep like a black hole, lay in his palm.

That pull… that suffocating darkness…

Suzu's pupils shrank to pinpoints!

His breath stopped.

He recognized it.

This was, the most fearso Logia!

"D-Dark… Dark Fruit?!"

His voice trembled sharply.

"It's… actually here?!"

He snapped the package shut, clutching it tightly, heart pounding.

'Jackpot.'

'This was what Young Master had been searching for!'

'With this, we could secure absolute protection from Haiiroyo!'

"How is it? Ahaha… good stuff, right?"

Hope ignited in Aji's heart.

"Th-the money? And… you said… you'd take to G-5…"

Suzu steadied himself.

'Kill him?'

'Take all the credit?'

'No. Too risky.'

'And this Pleasures user was a perfect cover.'

"You did well."

He tossed a heavy suitcase at Aji's feet.

"500 million Berries. Cash."

"F-five hundred million?! Ahaha!!"

Aji opened it, stacks of money nearly made him faint.

"As for G-5…"

Suzu pointed to a small ship offshore.

"That ship will take you. The captain's been paid. He'll drop you at a neutral island under G-5 control."

"Whether you get into the base… depends on you."

"Thank you! Ahaha! Thank you, sir!"

Aji kowtowed repeatedly, laughing and crying.

He could finally escape this hell!

"Get lost."

Suzu turned away.

He had to deliver this fruit to Dressrosa imdiately!

This was the Donquixote family's tribute!

As Suzu disappeared into the mist, Aji boarded the ship.

The sea breeze hit his tearful smiling face.

"Goodbye… Kaido… goodbye… nightmare…"

"G-5… ahaha… I'm coming…"

The ship slowly left Blade's Edge Rock.

Far away, in Dressrosa,

Doflamingo sat on his throne, receiving Suzu's trembling report.

"What did you say?!"

He shot to his feet, eyes blazing behind his sunglasses.

"The Dark-Dark Fruit?!"

"Fufufu… Fufufufufufu!!!"

His laughter echoed through the palace.

"Heaven truly favors !"

"With this… that lazy Renzo… won't be able to refuse!"

"My position… is secured!!"

....

[email protected]/DaoistJinzu

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