sat on the edge of a work stable and watched the CMS Industrial Foundry work. Or the CMSIFinator… na still pending. My legs swung idly as I ran through a few other ideas. Maybe the IFinator? Or the… I should probably ask Mira for help, shouldn’t I? She was busy though with her whole troubleshooter thing. She was apparently getting the office set up to start accepting requests.
Should I go call soone? Maybe Sean or Torren would hang out with … or maybe not. It’d been a while since I talked to either one of them. Things had changed since then—I’d changed so much since then.
As for , I’d just been sitting here. Everything was up and running. After leaving Knight Winslow, I ca back here and finished the setup. Even the micro nuclear reactor in its side room was flowing smoothly without any issue. I’d need to set up so capacitors and energy storage at so point for it, but other than that it was all good to go.
A manipulator arm slid down across the machine and picked up a freshly sintered part, easily clicking it into place to finish up the fra of a Roughrider. It was working perfectly. I’d only had to stop it a couple tis to fix minor issues, but it was almost good enough to just let it run.
A half-assembled autominer drone sat just next to . I was going to take it apart to add hover jets, but I’d lost interest halfway into the project. I flicked out and knocked lightly on it with my knuckles. The reinforced tal chid.
“Haah…” I sighed and checked my HUD once more. What now?
I leaned back onto the table and stared up at the ceiling. I’d done it. I had all the money I could ever want, I had infinite production set up with just a bit of maintenance, and I was safe. There wasn’t anything pressing on my shoulders anymore.
I slid off the table and lightly brushed my tools. There were still things I needed to do, ‘course. There was always sothing if I looked hard enough. More autominers, a new kind of weapon, Mira’s power armor, a body for Luna’s new SAI hound—the list went on endlessly. I just felt a little… drained? There was nothing pushing forward like there had been for so long.
The autominer dead sensors stared back up at . Whatever. I could work on it later. Not like it’d walk off while I wasn’t paying attention. I looked around at my other devices, and most of them were busy working away to produce various products. More Fireflies for one. They were exceptionally useful.
Should I go see Nael? He always knows how to cheer up. I glanced around my workshop one more ti and then went to gather so things before heading for the clinic.
——
I slid through the door, causing the bell above to ring lightly. The scent of clinical cleaner, motor oil, and sothing dical washed over in a wave. “Neal?”
”Shiro! How you doing, kid?” The dek sat off to the side of the room. He pushed a bookmark into his book and tossed it carelessly to the side onto one of his counters.
”Don’t let distract you.” I glanced at the cover of the book. “What were you reading this ti?”
”Neon Divide.” Nael sighed and shook his head.
If the book critic himself was shaking his head, then that wasn't a good sign. ”Is it that bad?”
”It’s…okay. The author seed like they had no idea what they were doing.” The man nodded to . “What brings you this ti?”
”Can’t I just stop by to see my favorite dek?” I grinned and moved over to him.
”You can, but you don’t.” He eyed from head to toe. “You look fine.”
I pulled my bag off my shoulders and revealed a Captain Absolom action figure. “I’ve been a bit busy lately, so I only have a couple.”
Nael slid over in his chair and picked up the plastic figure to hold it up into the light. “Your detail work is a lot better.”
”I’ve had practice.” Hopefully, it was better all the way around. I’d incorporated so designs into that thing to significantly boost its structural integrity. It should be able to survive even the toughest mauling now. My first models were likely already torn apart by so kid. “How’s business?"
”Fast. You?” He tucked one of the Captain Absolom figures into a cabinet, right next to one of each of the other models I’d made. The others were set off to the side on the counter.
”Slow, suddenly.” I slumped back onto the counter and sighed. “I hit my big goal, and was thinking about getting so new chro.”
Nael nodded like he suddenly understood sothing. “Feeling lost?”
”A bit.” I’d been struggling to survive since day one, and now I didn’t need to struggle anymore. I had more than enough money to live off of for years without issue. I just… I didn’t know what to do.
I went back to my workshop after making all the sales, started up the Industrial Foundry to start producing bikes, and then just… sat there. For over an hour. I could count the tis I’d just sat sowhere completely lost like that on one hand. It wasn’t a pretty sight.
“I just… I thought I’d feel taller or sothing.” I sighed and shook my head. It was stupid really. I’d checked, and nothing could make taller short of a miracle.
”You’re still the sa height.” He chuckled and nudged a rolly chair to . “Take a seat.”
“Thanks.” I spun the chair around and took a seat. Honestly, I didn’t know why I was talking to him about this. I had an actual counselor now thanks to Mira… He just felt safer, maybe. “I… I just feel kind of empty now.”
”Shiro, you’ve been working yourself to the bone ever since I had to clean out chunks of a torn apart eye from your skull.” The man rolled over across from . “You ever watch Dune Racing?”
”No. I haven't had much ti for stuff like that.” I knew what it was, though. I guess I did have the ti now, too. If I wanted to, I could just be idle for years off that 15 million. I didn’t need to buy food or water with the canteen, I had a secret base, infinite power, and protection. I could survive without issues for decades if need be. It was everything I’d always wanted.
“You should. It’s pretty interesting.” He shrugged and leaned back in his chair. “They build those vehicles for one reason—to redline from start to finish. Every piece and part is tuned for the big race. Then, when they cross the finish line, what happens?”
”They win?” I sighed. Where was he going with this?
”They coast.” He waved his hand slowly like a wave.
I rubbed my face. I could see where he was going with this. He was much better at this kind of thing than Vulpes had been with her river analogy. I still wasn’t sure what all of that ant. “So I’m the car? It doesn't feel like I won though. It just—I feel stalled.”
”Then you’ve just lost your goal.” Nael shrugged.
”I… I don’t know who I am without a goal.” I’d built myself up entirely around survival and digging myself out of that pit. Now I was out though. What was left of ?
He leaned back and studied like I was a dical scan read out. “You’re Shiro Tsukuyomi.”
”Har har.” I stared at the floor. It reminded of just after my parents died, back when my life ca crashing down around . “I just—I thought I’d feel different. Don’t they say money solves all problems?”
”It's more money, more problems.” He leaned over to a counter and pulled out a dataslate. “You said you wanted more chro? Hand your jack, kid.”
I opened the slot on my wrist and pulled the thing out for him to access. ”That’s not comforting.”
“Wasn’t supposed to be.” He plugged it into his dataslate, and a warm wave of electricity arced up through the wire.
I let out a soft laugh and shook my head. “So am I supposed to just pick another massive goal and start over?”
I could do that. Okay, new goal. Beco the number one corporation in Aythryn City. Bam, it was massive and I could work at it for decades without ever achieving it.
”Maybe.” He looked up from the dataslate and t my eyes. “When you were chasing the last one, what about it drove you? What felt good?”
“Survival.” That was about as strong of a driving force as anything. “Um… maybe solving issues and getting better?”
Watching my numbers go up was pretty entertaining. There was nothing like seeing a Skill jump up or earning a Perk for all of my efforts. That’d slowed down drastically though. I hadn’t even gotten anything for the last gig I ran through. Was this my peak?
“The growth cycle.” Nael tapped around on his slate and unplugged my jack. “I can see that.”
”Growth cycle?”
“Stress, overco, recover, repeat—its how muscles are built.” He waved a hand around the clinic. “It’s what drives most people to deks and chro, actually.”
”So I’m in recovery?” I shot back. “It feels like I’m rotting.”
The smile on his face faded and he focused on the dataslate. He tapped around on it and then nodded his head sharply. “It’s a dopamine crash, actually."
“What are you talking about?”
“It’s perfectly normal, Shiro.” He tossed the dataslate onto his counter and crossed his arms. “You just need to rest and recalibrate. Take so ti to recover and focus on a new goal. Maybe set one that isn’t so survival coded.”
”Easier said than done…” I sighed and shook my head. “What about new chro?”
”I won’t put anything in you.” He rolled away and eyed like a feral cat. “Outrunning it by upgrading isn’t a good idea.”
”It’s my body.” I snapped at him. “I’ll just go to soone else—“
Nael’s Cues shifted subtly. I bit my lip and cut myself off. There wasn’t anyone else I trusted to install chro other than him. Why’d I say that? Maybe he was right… I was being a little more irritable compared to normal. Or should I say I was being short—no, now wasn’t the ti for jokes.
”And I’m your dek, Shiro.” His tone stayed completely calm and steady like I hadn’t just snapped at him. “If you start stacking chro to avoid this, you’ll crash harder and start glitching again.”
A shiver went down my spine. That wasn’t an option. I still had nightmares so nights about the last ti that happened, and it was almost a year ago now. The last ti was brought on by unfortunate circumstances, but I had a feeling if I glitched again it’d be much harder to recover.
The clone flesh was starting to throb pretty consistently, though. I thought they said it’d last five years at the very least… then again, it’d undergone all sorts of modifications thanks to the interface. Maybe it wasn’t a surprise that it was going downhill. “What about my eye?”
“I’ll take care of it. The nerves are probably degrading slightly.” He stood up and waved up to his surgical chair. “Clone flesh isn’t reliable.”
I could see that. I sighed and shuffled over to the surgical chair. No wonder it was so cheap if I had to replace it every six months or so. Might as well charge a subscription at that rate. “What am I supposed to do, Nael? What goal should I set?”
”I don’t know, kid. That’s sothing you’ll have to figure out yourself.” He patted lightly on the shoulder and went to gather supplies. “Think about it, yeah? You have plenty of ti.”
I watched him go while my thoughts descended into chaos. “Chek.”
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