Read light novels, web novels, Chinese novels, Korean novels, Japanese novels and books online for FREE.
Font Size
18px
Now reading: 288 (I) Dodge from Path of the Deathless, a Comedy novel by OstensibleMammal.

Alright, girl, I'm gonna show you an ancient technique. When soone's swinging a sword at your chest, it doesn't matter if it's a wooden sword or a tal sword. You need to get the fuck out of the way. Otherwise, that sword might break a few of your ribs. It might leave you on the ground, coughing up blood. That's not good, is it? No, that's pretty terrible.

So, next ti, right? You need to use the ancient technique of dodging. Now, you seem like the simple sort. You got that look a potato gives after I dig it up from the dirt. That sub-animal level of intelligence. Might be why I find you so endearing compared to all the other dickless monstrosities I have to deal with. You're too stupid to be a temptress. You're too plain to be enticing. And you're too bloody stubborn to stop.

Now quit that wheezing. It's only one collapsed lung. The other one still works. And if you want it to keep working, you better avoid this next hit; otherwise, your diaphragm is going to be doing all the work. What's that? A diaphragm doesn't help one breathe? Ah, so we're extra fuckin’ motivated this ti, ain't we?

-Varghan the Unseen Draw to Jessica Hawgrave

288 (I)

Dodge

"That's… not how it works," Shiv wheezed as he assimilated another punctured lung. Once more, air filled his body, and he could breathe again. The ache, however, lingered a few seconds longer. Getting hit by Rusty really, really hurt, even if the blade wasn't actually trying to pierce through his flesh. “Diaphragms don't help with your breathing. That's all your lungs.”

"And how would you street rat know that, huh?" Jessica asked, leaning back against her sword. Her helt was off, and she was actively scooping a can of beans empty. Soti between the first and the thirteenth ti she burst his lungs, the Legendary swordswoman decided that she was peckish and wanted to indulge in a little snack. As Shiv fed his injuries into his Biomancy field, she plucked a spoon and a can of extra spicy beans from within her sword, and she ate, while Rusty did so of the fighting for her. She now stood a spectator to a series of duels between the Deathless and her sword.

A series of duels that taught Shiv just how bad he was at dodging and parrying.

Shiv had fought a great many people, more than he could recall. Undoubtedly, a high number of them had possessed far superior Weapon Proficiency Skills and the equipnt to match compared to him. Shiv had, in most cases, simply overwheld those foes with superior strength or speed, or been outright impervious to their attacks due to his preternaturally advanced durability, and outlasted them that way.

The sa feats could not be replicated against Jessica or her blade. Rusty, even by himself, was an insidious foe. Every ti he struck, his blows jumped, passing through tears and ruptures in the spatial fabric. One ti, he impacted Shiv's Last Morsel, only to teleport mid-strike and sink into his lower ribs. The mont he pulled out from his body, he teleported again and left a dragging gash along his left thigh.

Fighting Rusty was rough. Fighting Jessica was even worse. She didn't need any teleportation tricks to overco Shiv.

She was simply that skilled.

Most of the ti, he didn't even see her initial draw until blood was spilling out from his body. It wasn't even because she was so much faster than him. Her Reflexes were undoubtedly superior, but she didn't appear to be using them to the maximum extent of her ability; the source of her impossible efficiency was simply a factor of fluidity. The way she drew, the way she cut, always happened so naturally, so gracefully, so suddenly that he couldn't help but be taken by surprise. When he tried going on the offensive, she simply shifted her size, growing taller until once more he found himself out-ranged once more, unable to breach her defense or get close.

And then there was her mastery of angles. The slightest adjustnt could completely change the trajectory of her strike. Several tis, her blow fell from high overhead, and Shiv whipped his Last Morsel up to knock the strike aside, aiming to slam into the flat of the blade. But then she twisted, she took a step back, and the tip turned forward in a spearing thrust rather than a descending cut. That strike had taken his left eye. She repeated that several more tis until he learned what she was doing. Until he fully adapted.

When he finally managed a proper parry, she added another step to her sequence of attacks. He knocked her blade aside and stepped in to grapple with her, seeking to pit strength against strength, where he still had so asure of control. But instead of being thrown off balance, Jessica shifted her footwork, using the force of his parry to deliver a well-tid jab to his ankle.

Against all odds, Shiv managed to block this attack. Using his whip instead, he directed the snaking chain of cancerous biomass and intercepted the stab. That earned him the laugh of delight from Jessica. She clapped in recognition of his feat.

“Well, I stand felling corrected. Maybe the whip isn't such a stupid idea for you after all. Most whip users I know end up lashing their own friends or ripping their own backs open. But soone using a cancer stick to block one of my strikes? Well, that's new. That's really, really new. I think there's potential here, kiddo.”

Whip Proficiency 15 > 19

His eyes widened as he took a step back. "You do—”

He gritted his teeth and twisted the side as her blade suddenly extended in a burst of Dinsionality. Jessica had perford this attack several tis now, breaking combat to establish dialogue before suddenly resuming her offensive. Shiv didn't like it, but he had to admit there was so charm to honing his focus this way, to assu nothing and always be on guard.

The blood inside his brain felt like it was on the verge of combusting from how hard he was straining his Bifurcated Processing. But, on top of that, he also began to anticipate what Jessica might do, thought steps ahead. It was never a simple stab. When she did perform singular attacks, they were probing strikes, ant to gauge his rhythm, his reaction ti, his responses. And if he repeated the sa action more than twice, she usually managed to gut him wide open.

Bifurcated Processing 77 > 78

She repeated the combo she liked so much: overhead feint to head-pointed thrust, followed by a sweeping strike to his midsection or calf. Instead of trying to use his frying pan to parry the blow, he lashed out using his cancer whip. It coiled around him, spearing high to intercept the descending strike. When the thrust ca, Shiv brought his Last Morsel up and caught the blade's tip along the flat of his weapon. A resounding impact vibrated through his arms, and he fed that into overflow tides. New vectors surged across his body, and he gained a burst of montum. Finally, he felt like the fight was shifting in his favor, and he pressed his advantage, launching himself forward.

As he accelerated, Jessica suddenly shot back, the wheels of fire erupting into existence beneath her feet. She zood backward while he pressed forward, and suddenly she cut an angle. Another advantage Shiv had that she didn't was Inertial Overdrive, sothing he could wrestle under control using his Shapeless Tides. But it still ca at considerable strain and cost to his body. And every bit of effort he spent trying to right his angles of movent was wasted while she simply flowed. Another cut descended behind him. It was a casual swing perford by a single arm, a contemptuous blow that was ant to teach him not to over-extend in battle.

But he took inspiration from her earlier words. He thought in twos. His Shapeless Tides inverted in direction, pulling him back on course to try to ward off Jessica's blow. She struck out and was almost certain to be the first to land a strike and split him down the middle, as she had done several tis already. However, he took hold of his whip, using his Biomancy and also his Vitaemancy. A white-red sheath fused over the cancerous length, further armoring it with his Orichalcum.

The whip coiled around his back, and in an instant, what once was ant to be a killing blow found itself glancing off, chipping white and red fragnts of calcified mana free but inflicting no further damage.

Find this and other great novels on the author's preferred platform. Support original creators!

Vitaemancy 135 > 137

Still, the physics behind the blow spiked Shiv straight into the ground, and the floor erupted in a geyser of dirt. When he finally managed to right himself, turning with a wild swing, he struck nothing.

As the dust cleared, Shiv found Jessica about five ters away, sitting atop her sword with her legs around the poml and shaking her head at nothing in particular. "Really shouldn't have told him about that whip… Now it's going to get annoying. Isn't that right, Rusty?”

“Quite so. It is generally unwise to give strategic advice to one's adversary,” the Legendary blade grunted.

Jessica's expression twisted into one of exaggerated pity, like she was witnessing a disabled, starving kitten limping along the street. “But he was just so helpless before! We had to help him.”

“Indeed,” Rusty said, playing along. “But now, there is truly nothing more you can teach him. He is ready for all, fit to face any foe. It is ti, Jessica. Let us give him the pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre final challenge.”

Shiv's body vibrated with worry. Jessica and her sword were planning sothing, and he really didn't like it.

Gardener of Doubt: I have an absolutely terrible feeling about this. Perhaps we should run. The gateway is not far away. We could dive through the other side.

Hells no, Shiv replied. The way she's looking at makes my skin crawl, but I want to figure out what kind of weird, fucked-up trick she's about to pull. Might learn sothing from that.

“Alright, Rusty, you ready?” Jessica said aloud. She cleared her throat. “It's ti to show him one of my stronger techniques.” She hopped down, slowly made a full, counter-clockwise rotation around Rusty, and when she finally ca to a stop, she grasped his hilt with her left hand first and wrapped her right hand around directly underneath.

Shiv leaned back and adjusted his stance. He needed to be able to move fast. If she was about to draw on him—wait, why was his body passing him by? Why was he falling upward—oh.

Shiv's head struck the dirt, and he died.

Whip Proficiency 19 > 25

Inertial Overdrive 220 > 223

Deepest Edge 80 > 83

Frictionless Vector 97 > 99

Dodge 40 > 50 (Skill Evolution Imminent)

Fuck. Such was Shiv’s assessnt as he perished once more. Stifling an internal grownup's frustration, he drew a burst of vitality from his Enchained Heart of Lifegiving and resurrected in an instant. He had practically spent all of the vitality he'd drained away from the vampires, and now he would have to either sap from Jessica or the world around him. And knowing the forr, she was likely not so willing to part with her life essence.

“Alright,” Shiv said. "What did you just do there? I have no idea how you killed .

“Didn't really do anything differently," Jessica replied, shrugging. "I guess you simply weren't ready for the pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre final challenge."

“Bullshit. I saw you do a whole ritual there. You walked around your sword, you grabbed it with your left hand instead of your right.”

She nodded sagely. “Ah. Indeed. There's sothing I should tell you. I'm not right-handed. And you weren't paying any attention.”

“My eyes were on you the whole ti!” Shiv hissed.

“Yeah? So what? My eyes were on a lot of things the whole ti. Doesn't an I'm all there. Look, you can't be over-encouraged either, right? That little trick you pulled earlier with your whip, that was pretty good. But trucks aren't everything. And you probably need to do a lot more practicing with that weapon until you find a whip expert to further teach you how to hone your skills. But I don't know. I've not t many Whip Proficiency Masters aside from slavers—and they’re usually worse at actually fighting than the slaves they whipped to get the skill.”

Shiv grunted in acknowledgent. That sounded about right. “Alright, let's go again.”

And now it was Jessica's ti to groan. "No, we're not doing this again. We're gonna go back inside. I'm gonna cook you so beans. You're going to tell you loved it even if you hate it because that's part of our arrangent. You're going to practice in the anti. I want so ' ti' now. I’ve had enough of beating the shit out of you for one day. Try again tomorrow."

Shiv pouted at Jessica. "Seriously? That's it? You're tired? Already?"

She placed both hands on her hips. “Look at , you oversized child. I'm old, alright? I need my beauty sleep. I need my beauty bean dinner. I need my beauty sword-sharpening session. Need a lot of beauty things. It's not easy maintaining your body when you get older.”

Shiv stared blankly at her. “Masters can theoretically live centuries before their lifespan runs out. I can't even imagine how long it would take for you to kick the bucket or even get wrinkles naturally.”

Jessica glowered back. “Easy for a brat to say. Just you wait. At so point, even just talking to the newer generation will turn your hair gray. You'll get there soday if soone doesn't kill you earlier than I do. Besides, cutting you apart over and over again isn't that useful for or you. You need ti to internalize what you just went through, spend ti thinking and going over the fights instead of just rushing into the next one. That's probably your biggest problem. The System keeps pumping you with more power. How many levels did you gain from all that fighting?"

Shiv pulled up his notifications and told her his exact level-ups.

“What the fuck?” Jessica sputtered. “That's bullshit. That's absolute bullshit! This is like… months of effort for . Months! That's not fair. It's just not.”

But Shiv wasn't buying it. There was a certain inflection in her voice that told him she was distracted by sothing else. "Hey, how many levels did you gain?"

The Giantsbane stiffened and didn't reply for a mont. "I an… a few. Look, you're kind of raw and not that skilled, but I'm still wrestling with a big godsdamn monster. Even kicking your ass isn't a walk in the park. You have any idea how sore my wrist feels from hitting you? My shoulders are screaming at . And my back—”

"Yeah, so you're really favored now too," Shiv cut her off. "This is good for both of us. If we keep going—"

"No, no, no." Jessica shook her head. "Stop." She sounded deathly serious now, without any hint of jest whatsoever. "It's important for you to think about what you did wrong. If I'm going to teach you how to fight properly, then there is a word you must rember. It's as important as the other words like training, sparring, and combat experience."

"And what's that?" Shiv asked, actually interested in finding out.

"It's called recovery, and it's the best thing you can do for your mind and body after a particularly strenuous session of getting the shit kicked out of you or kicking the shit out of soone. There is sothing you can learn from fighting anyone: how they react, how you react. How often do you think back on your fights in detail? How often do you try to rember every single detail, how you approached the fight, how you started it, what caused you to get hit, all that stuff?"

Shiv thought back to his many fights. He recalled Andra, the Recollector, the Court Leviathan, Sullain, but realized most of his mories were chaotic, a blur of details. He had fought a lot of people but hadn't focused a great deal on the after-action.

Jessica read the answer from the frown growing on his face. "Yeah, so you haven't done a lot of recovery. Or any."

"In my defense, the System doesn't want to," Shiv replied.

"You know, for most people, I'd say that's a bullshit excuse, but you might be the first person who's being honest when they say that. But with everyone here, and you finally in this gate, the System's gonna be hard-pressed to force you into a fight every single day. But you've got options, assuming you're actually determined to turtle. With all those orcs you've got, you can outsource the vampire fight to them. At least for now.”

Shiv didn't look convinced, so Jessica pointed at her face. “Look at . You don't need to keep getting beat to shit every single ti. You don't need to throw yourself into every fight. You have an opportunity right now to breathe and consolidate. But that doesn't an you take a break. That ans you shift to doing other things that build on your ability to fight. Like rembering what you did wrong in a fight. What you could do better next ti. How you can improve your tertiary skills to expand your primary ones. Fuck, the only way I managed to figure out how to pull off an actual quick draw was by learning to use chopsticks."

"I know how to use chopsticks," Shiv said proudly. "Georges has had everyone learn. Said it's important to learn the cultures and traditions behind every dish you're making."

"Yeah, and he was right. Because this is the stuff that makes soone a complete person. Alright, listen." Jessica cleared her throat awkwardly. "Don't let this go to your head, but you're ant for this."

"ant for what?" Shiv asked.

"Fighting, being a Pathbearer, all that. You're ant for it. You love it. Or at least, it doesn't exhaust you the sa way it does everyone else. You don't seem to get tired. You don't ever stop. You don't even really want to do anything else when you're knee-deep in the fight. But the System is making you into more of a monster, a combat monster that's determined to break and fight internally at the cost of everything else. And ironically, that's making you a worse warrior. A monster is always going to get cut down by a true warrior, because a monster’s instincts beco predictable, and its skills get too limited."

You are reading Path of the Deathless 288 (I) Dodge on WuxiaFull. Use Previous, Chapter List, or Next to continue.
Share this chapter
Bookmark saves this novel to your account. Reading History keeps recent chapters in this browser.
Continuous reading

You May Also Like

A Fortune-telling Princess cover
Same genre

A Fortune-telling Princess

사이딘 ·Comedy

LeeSiaisatopactresswiththeabilitytoseeghosts.Afteranaccident,shewakesupinthebodyof‘CamillaSorpel’.Theproblemis…“Ah,father!Pleasespareme!”…thatthisw...

User Comments

0 comments from readers

Post Comment
By posting a comment, you agree to all relevant terms.
There are currently no comments. Join the community and start the discussion.
Please create an account or sign in to post a comment.