"Have you finished talking? If you’re done, I’ll leave. You don’t need to pretend to care about now. I haven’t needed your pity for a long ti." After Xiao Yifei finished speaking, he left the restaurant.
His father sat alone in the restaurant, drinking sullenly. He felt that his whole life had been a failure: in his father’s eyes, he wasn’t a good son, and in his son’s eyes, he wasn’t a good father. After working hard for most of his life, apart from earning so money, he had gained nothing else.
When he got divorced back then, it was actually out of compulsion. At that ti, he was still a minor official. During a dinner, he got drunk, and when he woke up later, he found his subordinate sleeping beside him. He lifted the blanket and discovered they were both naked.
Then the subordinate woke up, caressing his chest and said, "Brother Xiao, you were really sothing last night, even though you were drunk, you still..."
Before she finished her sentence, he quickly got out of bed and said, "Don’t talk nonsense. I was drunk last night. I don’t rember what happened."
He wanted to put on his clothes and leave. "Go ahead, whatever happened last night, you and I both know. I don’t want much, just hope for a promotion. The year-end is coming, and our promotion opportunities are in your hands. If you agree, we’ll pretend this never happened."
Only now did Xiao Yifei’s father realize that all of this had been her plan to get what she wanted. He was compelled to agree to her demands, thinking it would easily resolve everything.
But he was too naive. Two months later, she ca back and told him, "I’m already pregnant with your child. What should we do now?"
"I can give you money to take care of it." Xiao Yifei’s father was completely flustered. He never expected things to develop like this.
"To take care of it, you speak so lightly. Like it or not, you’re the father of this child. I’ll give you two days. If you promise to give a status, I won’t tell anyone about this. Otherwise..."
Later, Xiao Yifei’s mother found out about this. She couldn’t tolerate her husband’s infidelity, and no matter how others persuaded her, she decided to get a divorce.
Then Xiao Yifei’s father married that woman and had the child. Actually, Xiao Yifei’s father was in a difficult situation at the ti because, in those days, infidelity was seen as a horrendous sin by others.
He was just starting his career, and if this matter beca public, not only could he lose his job, but his reputation for a lifeti would be ruined. So he could only choose this path.
And Xiao Yifei knew nothing about these circumstances. He initially wanted to tell Xiao Yifei earlier, but sohow, the words just wouldn’t co out. He didn’t want his son to see him this way, although it was all just a mistake made while drunk.
After he got married, everything at ho was firmly controlled by that woman. He had to report even just to buy a pack of cigarettes, let alone give so money to Xiao Yifei each month!
Only years later, after he ventured into business, did the situation sowhat improve. By the ti he could do sothing for Xiao Yifei, it was already too late, as Xiao Yifei wouldn’t even et him.
So he could only give the money to his father, but his father wouldn’t accept it either.
It turns out that if you take a wrong step, it can ruin your entire life. He never dared to think about how their family might have lived if things hadn’t happened that way. He didn’t dare to think about it, as the thought would bring tears to his eyes.
Back then, life wasn’t particularly happy, but he was quite content. Although not deeply in love with his wife, their family life was quite joyful.
Xiao Yifei drove aimlessly through the streets, not knowing how he felt at that mont or how to face his father. He thought he had long stopped caring about him, but seeing him in that way today, he sohow found him pitiful and felt a bit sad. But is soone like him worth pity?
Over twenty years had passed, and he was already old, no longer the tall figure he rembered from childhood. People age generation by generation, as sons grow up, fathers grow old.
Xiao Yifei said to himself, "Maybe I should just forgive him. Life is short, and there’s nothing to cling to resentfully. Moreover, he is one of the few family mbers I have. Without family, a person would rely exist."
But then, another voice in his head said, "How can you forgive him so easily? Today, seeing him old, your heart softened, and you pitied him. But when he left you to have a child with another woman, did he ever think of you or care about your feelings?"
Xiao Yifei felt deeply conflicted. In fact, the two of them had never talked as much as they did today. In the past, whenever Xiao Yifei saw him, he would turn away, not even wanting to glance back. Yet sohow today, he inexplicably agreed to his request.
He felt a sense of regret. If he hadn’t agreed, he wouldn’t be in so much pain now.
After driving around, he found himself back at the cetery, once again standing before his grandfather’s grave.
"Grandfather, I feel so sad right now. What should I do? If only you were here, you were always so wise, surely you would know the right answer." Xiao Yifei cried.
He rembered how his grandfather was always indifferent to his father, too. Each ti after a few words, his father would leave. His grandfather was probably disappointed in his son as well.
But he suddenly recalled once after his father left, his grandfather sighed at the dinner table, "Actually your father has had a hard ti too."
Upon hearing his grandfather say this back then, Xiao Yifei angrily remarked, "I think he’s quite enjoying himself now." His grandfather sighed and said, "Perhaps when you have a family of your own, you will understand everything he’s done."
"When I have a family, I will never be like him, easily abandoning my child," Xiao Yifei retorted.
His grandfather sighed deeply and said no more.
Suddenly, Xiao Yifei thought of his grandfather’s words. Perhaps his grandfather was giving him the answer he sought. He thought, perhaps he really shouldn’t linger on the past.
Thus, Xiao Yifei sat in front of his grandfather’s grave, his mind blank, sitting there quietly. He cherished this rare mont of peace, just like when he was a child sitting quietly by his grandfather as he read.
As a child, Xiao Yifei was actually naughty and mischievous, but there were tis when he would just drag a small stool by himself, sit quietly by the window, and no one knew what he was looking at. That’s why Xiao Yifei had always led a rather conflicted life all these years.
In everyone’s eyes, he was that kid with excellent grades but a bit of a troublemaker, seemingly never saddened by anything. Yet the lancholic and sentintal side of him was rarely seen by anyone.
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