The storm inside him roared, a rciless tide dragging him deeper into the abyss. He deserved this. The darkness, the guilt it was his punishnt. His burden to carry.
But then tiny fingers curled around his hand.
Charlotte’s grip was weak, but sohow, it held more strength than all the chains of his past. She swayed slightly on her feet, her big, round eyes searching his face.
"You look like a monster…" She mumbled, tilting her head.
Jas flinched. A monster. Yes. That’s what he was.
"Not a scary one, though. Just… a sad one."
His breath hitched. He wanted to turn away, to sink back into the darkness where he belonged, but Charlotte wouldn’t let go.
"Do monsters get hugs?" She asked suddenly, her voice laced with the purest curiosity.
His mind scread at him to push her away to keep her from the poison inside him but he couldn’t move. He couldn’t speak.
Charlotte sighed, as if he was the child and she was the adult. "You’re bad at this." She said, then, without hesitation, she wrapped her tiny arms around his hand.
Jas stiffened. His body locked up. It was such a small gesture, so simple, yet it shattered him. The weight of his sins, his regrets, his self-hatred it all ca crashing down at once.
And just like that, the monster wept.
"I still love you."
His vision blurred. Love? How could she say that? After everything? After what he had done, after what he had beco?
His hands,hovering over Charlotte’s small fra, trembled. He was tainted, ruined. He was not sothing to be loved, he was sothing to be feared, sothing to be abandoned.
And yet, this child, with all her innocence, all her purity, looked at him as if he were still worth sothing.
Jas squeezed his eyes shut. "Don’t." he whispered, his voice raw, broken. "Don’t say that."
Charlotte didn’t move. She held on tighter. "But I do!" She insisted, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.
He wanted to reject them, to push them away, to tell her she was wrong but he couldn’t. Because deep down, so lost, shattered part of him wanted to believe it.
"You’re all sad and ssy, but that’s okay. ssy things can be cleaned. And sad things can be hugged."
Jas let out a quiet, strangled laugh if it could even be called that.
A tear slipped down his cheek. Then another. Then more.
He buried his face into the tiny shoulder of the child who shouldn’t have to comfort a man like him. But she did anyway. And for the first ti in what felt like forever, Jas let himself be held.
Jas’ body shook as he clung to Charlotte, his fingers gripping the fabric of her tiny dress like a lifeline. She was there, holding him together with nothing but her small arms and her even smaller words.
His lips trembled as he whispered. "I don’t deserve it."
Charlotte pulled back just enough to look up at him, her big, unblinking eyes filled with sothing he couldn’t understand. "That’s a silly thing to say." she huffed, frowning. "Love isn’t about deserving. It’s just… love."
Jas let out a shuddering breath. How could sothing so simple be so impossible to accept?
Charlotte tilted her head, her expression serious in the way only children could be. "You think if you’re all grumpy and sad, I’m gonna stop loving you?" She squinted. "That’s not how this works."
A broken chuckle escaped Jas before he could stop it.
Charlotte puffed out her cheeks in frustration. "You’re bad at being loved."
That did it. He tried to stop it, to hold it in, but it was useless. The dam had broken, he cried more than ever.
Charlotte didn’t flinch. She didn’t let go.
"It’s okay. Crying ans you’re not a monster."
Jas squeezed his eyes shut as fresh tears slipped down his face, soaking into her small shoulder.
In that mont, in this fragile, fleeting second, a tiny hand reached into the abyss and found him.
How could she be so sure? How could this tiny, innocent creature still see sothing worth loving in him when he had so little left to offer?
His chest tightened, suffocating, as if her words were both a balm and a wound. He wanted to tell her to stop, to tell her that love had no place in his world anymore. That after everything he had done, after the darkness that consud him, love was a lie. But as the words teetered on his lips, they felt hollow, empty.
He could feel Charlotte’s small hands clutching him tighter, her fingers cold against his skin, but her grip unwavering.
She believed in him.
He had made choices, horrible, unforgivable choices. And now he was nothing but a hollow shell, a monster dressed in a man’s skin.
"Charlotte I’m... too far gone. You don’t know what... what I’ve beco." His hands clenched into fists at his sides.
She just looked up at him, her big eyes wide, filled with sothing he couldn’t comprehend.
Hope.
"Then I’ll fix you." She said, her voice so certain, so pure. "I’ll make you clean. I’ll hug you until the sadness goes away."
Her words wrapped around him like a warm blanket, sothing so simple, so naive, and yet so undeniably real. The chaos inside him paused, just for a mont, as if her innocence had created a space where the darkness couldn’t touch.
"You don’t have to do that…" He whispered, voice breaking.
Charlotte shook her head, her little face serious, as if the very idea of him being beyond help was simply absurd to her. "I don’t have to. I want to. Because I love you. Even if you’re sad and ssy, you’re still Jas. And I’m going keep loving you until you can see it."
He didn’t deserve it. But as he looked into her face, there was no doubt in her eyes, only love.
It wasn’t enough to erase the past. It wasn’t enough to undo the things he had done. But as he hugged her tightly, feeling the weight of his grief shift just slightly, he realized it was enough for now.
And for now, maybe that was all he needed.
He closed his eyes, trying to steady his breath, but the sobs still clawed at him, breaking through his defenses. "I don’t know if I can ever be okay."
Charlotte pulled back just enough to look up at him, her eyes searching his face. "Then you just take it one day at a ti, like . We’ll take care of you. We’ll be okay, together." She gave him a small, comforting smile. "You’re just sad. And that’s okay. We’ll fix the sad part, together."
For a mont, Jas just looked at her, trying to process her words. Trying to hold onto that hope she was offering, even if it felt impossible.
Jas stared at Charlotte for a mont longer, his heart still heavy but a little less burdened by the weight of her words. She had a way of seeing things simply, clearly, and for a fleeting mont, he felt the sharp edges of his grief soften, just enough for him to breathe a little easier.
Then, Charlotte’s small voice broke through the silence, her words wrapped in that sa childlike certainty.
"You need to sleep." She said, her eyes wide with concern. "Sleeping will make you happy."
Jas blinked, the simplicity of her statent almost making him laugh, but it also pierced the fog in his mind.
He opened his mouth to tell her that sleep couldn’t fix the pain, but then he saw it, her small hands still gripping him, her earnest gaze, filled with that overwhelming, unshakeable belief.
She wasn’t just talking about sleep, was she? She was talking about hope. A hope that seed so impossible, but was sohow enough to make him feel like it might be worth trying.
"Sleep..." He said, his voice cracked but soft. "You really think that’ll make feel better?"
Charlotte nodded, her eyes serious now, but still filled with that innocent certainty.
"You can’t fix all the sad stuff in one day." She said gently. "But sleeping helps. It makes the bad stuff go away for a little while, and tomorrow, you can try again."
Jas closed his eyes, his heart aching with how much he wished he could believe her. But even as doubt crept in, there was sothing in her presence, sothing in her unwavering trust, that made him want to try.
"Okay." He whispered, his voice rough. "Okay, I’ll try."
Charlotte smiled brightly, the light in her eyes making him feel like maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t as lost as he thought. She clung to him a little tighter, her small form snuggling against his side.
"Good. I’ll keep you safe while you sleep." She whispered, stepping back and sitting down on a chair. "I’ll stay right here."
Maybe sleep wouldn’t fix everything, but with Charlotte here, maybe it didn’t need to.
And as his body finally relaxed.
But he was no longer Jas.
No, that man was gone before Charlotte even stepped into the room.
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