While the internet was in an uproar, Lu Xiaobu was actually in the process of selecting comntators.
The selection thod was to randomly draw a match to comntate on.
Those who ca were said to be very well-known dostic comntators.
However, Lu Xiaobu’s brows were furrowed the entire ti.
In a word, what the hell are these?!
First group.
"Look quick, look quick! They’re ulting! Wow! Triple kill! Quatary Kill! Penta Kill! This is sick! This is aweso!"
"The fight is on! The enemy has five people, we have only three, seems like we’re gonna lose this one, probably gonna lose the mid tower too, what! They actually started fighting?! What! What! What happened?! The enemy five just got wiped out! Truly wiped out!"
Lu Xiaobu was twitching at the corner of his mouth: "Next!"
Damn your grandpa, is this what you call comntary?!
Is this the reaction of so random bystander? You didn’t see anything, you don’t know anything, what do I need you for, young master?!
...
Second group.
"Wah wah wah wah wah! He actually bought a Hurricane! What’s he trying to do?! Wah wah wah! That damage is explosive! Wah wah wah!"
Lu Xiaobu’s face darkened: "Get the hell out of here, Young Master!"
This one is even worse than the last!
You’re supposed to be a comntator, not to analyze why the player chose that equipnt, not to just go ’wah wah wah’!
Did you get f***ed?! Or did soone actually do you in?!
F*** your grandpa!
...
Third group!
Another internet fa face stepped forward.
"Get lost!"
Lu Xiaobu slamd the table and cursed: "Goddamn it, isn’t there a single real comntator?! I don’t want flower vases! Damn it, if I wanted a few flower vases on the comntator’s stage, would I need you all?!"
Lu Xiaobu was really pissed, even resorting to the word "Old man"!
...
Fourth group.
During the ban/pick phase.
Comntator: "All right, let’s see how Team So will respond, that would be better."
Hearing this, Lu Xiaobu felt a little bit relieved at least it wasn’t soone screaming willy-nilly.
Then, after banning the heroes and picking them up.
Comntator: "As expected, just like I predicted."
Lu Xiaobu’s face sagged.
Did you f***ing tell the audience about your predictions?!
Are you just post-rationalizing now?!
Wait a bit more!
Lu Xiaobu patiently thought!
Then.
The comntator’s post-rationalization number one: "As expected, I just knew it had to be the blue side that took the tower!"
Lu Xiaobu clenched his fists!
The comntator’s post-rationalization number two: "Just as I thought, the purple side chose to take the dragon after winning the teamfight!"
Lu Xiaobu picked up a teacup!
The comntator’s post-rationalization number three: "Hahaha, just as I thought..."
"Go f*** your mother next door!"
Lu Xiaobu picked up the teacup and hurled it: "Are you f***ing with here?! If you think so damn well, then say it! You’re just f***ing post-rationalizing with here! Get lost!"
"Bang!"
The teacup smashed to the ground near the comntator’s feet, scaring him so much that he quickly scuttled away!
...
Fifth group.
A man ca in.
Wearing a suit, he seed to have so substance.
"Let’s start."
Lu Xiaobu gestured with his hands.
"Please hold on, Young Master Bu. I have a few questions to ask."
Long Zimo suddenly spoke up.
"What do you want to ask?"
Lu Xiaobu waved to the staff to pause and looked at Long Zimo.
This was the first person to ask him a question, and he was quite interested.
"What, exactly, are your standards, Young Master Bu?"
Long Zimo asked very seriously.
"Since you can ask this question, please tell what you think professionalism should be like."
Lu Xiaobu kicked the ball back.
"Well then, I’ll share my opinion."
Long Zimo cleared his throat and said: "First of all, professionalism. This professionalism can be divided into two points. First is the professionalism of the comntary industry, clear articulation, quick thinking, good Mandarin is necessary."
"Second is the professionalism regarding esports, of course, currently just regarding LOL specifically, including the depth of understanding of the ga, the heroes, and the players. All of these are encompassed here!"
Listening to Long Zimo’s analysis, Lu Xiaobu’s eyes glead: "Continue! Well said, a reward of ten thousand!"
"Thank you for the complint, Young Master Bu, I will proceed!"
Long Zimo showed a grateful expression: "Besides professionalism, another important aspect is stage presence, which refers to soone’s expressive ability and charm. After all, a comntator isn’t a rigid announcer but needs to be able to engage the audience, so personal charm is very important!"
"Keep going, keep going!" Lu Xiaobu was truly interested; this Long Zimo was a bit intriguing!
"Finally, it cos down to the partner. In my personal understanding, comntary and crosstalk have sothing in common. If there is a good partner, it’s like a straight man and a funny man, giving each other the right prompts at the right ti, even bringing back a topic that might stray off, all of these are extrely important!"
Long Zimo spoke eloquently and convincingly.
"Very good, well said!"
Lu Xiaobu stood up and applauded: "It looks like you should be able to do this, right!?"
"No, Young Master Bu, to be honest, I cannot. I’m too solitary, I might barely be able to achieve the first two, but the last one, I truly can’t. In the midst of comntary, I often dominate the conversation! So, I’m not suitable, no need for a trial."
Long Zimo spoke humbly yet confidently.
"Good, for your words, another ten thousand!"
Lu Xiaobu waved his hand grandly: "Then tell , among the comntators who ca today, who can do it?!"
"Thank you, Young Master Bu!"
Long Zimo bowed in gratitude, then raised his head and looked at the comntators outside - so excited, so confident, so indignant - and scoffed: "Them? None of them are up to par! They’re all just wolves in sheep’s clothing!"
"Oh!?"
The corners of Lu Xiaobu’s mouth curled up, interested in this statent: "Isn’t it said that all the famous comntators ca today?! How co they are worthless in your eyes?!"
"Because they really are worthless, Young Master Bu. Do you know? Their main business isn’t comntating at all, but rather being strears, gaming forum moderators, selling gaming equipnt! They now only view comntating as an opportunity for exposure, never treating it as a profession, nor do they bother to research it. With such an attitude, what real skill can they have?!"
Long Zimo’s words were razor-sharp, laden with heavy sarcasm.
"So by your words, are you implying that the Heavenly Dynasty has no real comntators?! Should we prepare to be embarrassed in the upcoming global tournant?"
Lu Xiaobu’s eyes narrowed.
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