"That day, I fainted from crying in the hospital, avoiding people, wanting only to be alone. You sat in the hospital corridor with , smoking through the night. I knew in my heart that you were in pain too, that you also suffered. That was your first child, and you loved her too..."
For so reason, though she was an imagined daughter, Li Yan’s chest still ached as if sothing was stirring inside.
A vision erged in his mind of a small child, sobbing in his arms, with tears hanging on her long eyelashes. He held her, swaying gently, reluctantly handing her over to the nurse who looked after the children, then hurriedly taking chicken soup to nourish Gu Tong’s body.
"The next day, I finally cried myself out. We both chose to forget about the child, as if nothing had ever happened, and continued living. In the days after I left the hospital, while I was still in confinent, you made chicken soup for every day, stayed with , took care of . Though we didn’t speak, I could feel your care."
"You stayed with for more than half a month, even putting your work on hold. Your mother couldn’t stand it and after a fierce argunt with you, she took it upon herself to look after , doing what you did every day, making soup, nurturing my body, taking to see a wandering doctor, seeking secret recipes for conceiving a child."
"We inadvertently put in effort to have a second child, though never speaking of it, there was a mutual understanding. This life continued for a long ti until the last ti we t. Whether it was you or , we had to reluctantly accept that due to my body’s condition, it would be difficult to have children in this lifeti."
The heart twisted, entangled, and pained.
Gu Tong recalled the past events, feeling an unbearable and desolate sorrow...
Once, in the years they spent together, she realized half were spent in the agony of blood and tears.
Li Yan held her, unsure how to comfort her. After an unknown length of ti, he finally asked a question, "Why was it the last ti we t?"
"Because that night, the Academy issued an order for you to be temporarily deployed to the battlefield, a mission that took you away for years without return, and it was your last mission. After you left, you never ca back... If I rember correctly, ’the news of your return’ was told to by the old man. At that ti, all they brought back was your Academy Uniform and a black-and-white photo..."
"Your heroic sacrifice caused quite a stir at the Academy, everyone knew about it and even couldn’t accept it. I was dumbfounded, neither crying nor making a fuss, just sitting in the room dazed every day, not knowing what I was thinking until one day when Qiu Xue found . At the ti, she was pregnant, telling with a swollen belly that inside her was your posthumous child..."
Gu Tong’s body constantly trembled, thinking of those pasts she dared not recall, feeling as though a tender piece of her heart had been gouged out, "I don’t want to talk much about what happened later. Essentially, I was like a fool, desperately begging Qiu Xue to keep the child, only to be tricked by her round and round, ultimately causing the fall of the Gu Family and the loss of my legs..."
"It was then, as I lay in the hospital bed listening to her speak, telling how she personally suffocated our daughter and the process of how Li’s mother drugged my chicken soup. My body trembled, I pulled out the ventilator and died beyond death! But when I opened my eyes again, I found I had awoken, lying on a hospital room bed, and everything that just happened was a nightmare!"
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