Chen Xue Man said plaintively, "I just wanted to talk to soone about the stuff weighing on my heart. So many years have passed, I thought I’d be able to let it go, but I overestimated myself.
Everyone else can’t go into Reincarnation, but I can. It’s just that because of my obsession, I’m not willing to just go get reborn like this."
Su Yuanyuan understood: she had to talk her through this; once she went to be reborn, she herself could leave. Thinking about how she could even play the role of a confidante auntie, it really wasn’t easy.
"Senior, I’m very curious about your love life."
"You’re just a little Foundation Establishnt, what are you curious about? Didn’t you lose your Original Yin this young?"
"Senior, I’m already the mother of five children."
"Your bone age is only thirty-one, and you’ve already had five children? Aren’t you afraid your cultivation won’t advance an inch?"
"Senior, people think differently. I care more about family and children."
This ti the female voice fell silent, and only after quite a while did she slowly speak again. "Yeah, I sealed myself; a lot of people probably don’t understand that, right? But that was my choice."
"Right, Senior, that’s exactly it. Your pursuits are different from other people’s. Don’t care about what others think."
"But that man didn’t want . Where am I not good enough? Junior, does your man dote on you a lot? Is that why you’re willing to have children for him?"
"Senior, how should I put this? I personally feel that we’re loving, and I also feel he treats very well, but that’s just how I feel. What he really thinks in his heart, I don’t know either."
"You’re willing to stay this ignorant? Aren’t you afraid of being abandoned soday?"
"Senior, a person’s life is short. Wouldn’t you feel exhausted thinking that much? Isn’t cherishing the present good enough?
Look at you—you were willing to give up your bright future for love. That alone is enough to earn the admiration of all the won in the world."
"Is it really like that?"
"Senior, I don’t know about others and I don’t know your past, but I still think you’re truly great."
"Junior, I like you. I can’t hear your heart, but I’m willing to believe your words.
Junior, I’m the daughter of the Xuantian Sect’s Taishang elder. My father only had after he reached Divinity Transformation. You could say I grew up in a honeypot, and all the way to Divinity Transformation everything went smoothly for .
At that ti my father was about to Ascend, and the one he couldn’t stop worrying about was .
I’m a Single Water Spirit Root, and I cultivated especially fast, so I promised my father that a thousand years later I would go to the Upper Realm to find him.
After he Ascended, because of my talent here I wasn’t treated unfairly. The sect treated very well.
Five hundred years later, I was about to break through to Mahayana, but I hit a bottleneck and just couldn’t break through."
Su Yuanyuan suddenly saw a phantom appear in front of her. She really was quite pretty. She looked pure and cute—the type that a lot of n would probably like, right?
"Senior, you’re really very pretty and cute."
"Really? Then why didn’t he think so?"
Su Yuanyuan was honestly a bit anxious. Hurry up and talk, will you? There’s still so much going on; she couldn’t just keep wasting ti here with her.
"That’s because he has no taste and sothing’s wrong with his brain."
"Right? All these years I’ve thought so too."
Su Yuanyuan nodded. "Yeah, that’s exactly what I think."
"He’s the Alliance Hierarch of the Independent Practitioner Alliance. We t because I hit that bottleneck, and my Sect Leader–shishu told I should go out and travel a bit, get so experience.
I thought so too. So I wandered around without any particular destination and ended up in this sea region.
There I t him. Look, this is his portrait—I’ve always kept it."
In front of Su Yuanyuan a man’s portrait suddenly appeared. To her eyes he was just so‑so, nothing special.
"Well? He’s very outstanding, isn’t he?"
"Senior, can I be honest? You won’t mind hearing it, will you?"
"Go ahead. What could I possibly not want to hear anymore?"
"Senior, I think this senior is just average. I feel he’s not worthy of you."
"Really? Everyone says that. They all say he’s hypocritical and cunning.
But I just thought he was good. Like my father said, this was my tribulation."
"Senior, I can already tell—you’re a kind person. Maybe you were drawn to so one thing about him back then. And in your eyes there probably aren’t really ’bad people’—even if he did sothing wrong, you’d think it wasn’t a big deal, right? I’m guessing when you sealed yourself away, you didn’t go kill him either, did you?"
"That’s right, junior, most of what you said is true. It’s just that I still do see bad people in my eyes.
He approached and made let down my guard. In the end he actually joined up with the Talisman Sect to go after my Xuantian Sect Taishang elder’s life.
That I couldn’t accept. My senior brother was upright and righteous; aside from my father he treated the best.
Watching him die because of , I broke down on the spot.
I questioned him about his feelings for , and he actually told he was just using .
On one side was the senior brother who’d watched grow up and cherished , on the other was the man I loved.
In the end I still couldn’t bring myself to kill him, but I didn’t spare a single one of the others. Yet faced with a sect left devastated after the attack, I felt I was a sinner.
I had no face to stay in the sect. I’d let down the disciples who’d always looked up to .
I let that man who destroyed my ho go."
"Senior, can I cut in for a mont?
I think you’re like this because of your guilt toward your senior brother and toward the sect.
Senior, I think you can let it go now. The Xuantian Sect is still the number one sect under heaven.
Your senior brother also had his share of responsibility. As a Taishang elder, did he have no sense of security at all? He should have known you best. You were simple and inexperienced, but he wasn’t, right? He didn’t pay enough attention himself. You can only say this was just fate for you all."
"Is that so?" Even in her tone you could hear the longing.
"Yes. It wasn’t just your problem. Maybe you were the starting point, but what happened afterwards really had nothing to do with you anymore. Senior, after so many years, your guilt is more than enough.
And I also think you don’t love that senior anymore. The reason you sealed yourself away was because of guilt."
After she finished speaking, the room fell completely silent.
Su Yuanyuan just sat there like that. Even without going through it herself, she knew that everyone must have been comforting Chen Xue Man, but the more they comforted, the more guilty she felt.
"Junior... I don’t love that man anymore?"
"I think so. Senior, think about it—wasn’t it only when you thought about the sect’s crisis that you would think of that man?"
Chen Xue Man mulled over this question, and in the end had to admit that this junior really had gotten it right. She felt suddenly enlightened. Yes, maybe she had loved that man once, but after he hurt her family, she couldn’t bear to kill him, yet she no longer loved him.
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