"Okay, let's start with this... ...Two months from now, I am going to die." A silence followed as those words escaped my lips.
The wind rushed past on the balcony where I stood, staring at my hand that held the recorder tightly.
"Well, that doesn't seem like the best way to start." I let out a light chuckle as I leaned against the railing.
"You should already know it by the ti you are hearing this recording."
My gaze landed on my necklace as I whispered, "...'She' should have inford you."
Well, that's what I hope for.
"So, you might be wondering, why am I recording myself?" I said, smiling as I turned around. "...It's because I wanted to explain myself for what I did and why I did that."
Guilt gripped my heart as I tiredly placed her hand on the railing, looking down.
The empty streets of the night ca into view, which oddly enough cald down.
"Rember how I used to tell you stories about the goddess Anastasia when we were children?" I asked, bringing the recorder close.
"...There is one thing that I didn't tell you...I could talk with her once every few years."
Once again, guilt hit like a hamr as I closed my eyes and waited for so ti to gather my thoughts.
My lips parted again. "....She once told to visit her shrine when I was a child...
...Where I t her priestess, who told about my lover's future....your horrible future."
"...Maybe it was because I was naïve that I didn't believe her words at that ti." I continued, looking below absentmindedly. "Whatever may be the reason...I didn't believe her words back then."
I let out a tired sigh as I thought about it.
...Those words that Sana said.
They made a lot of sense now.
"Even though I took extra care of you for quite so ti after that...I stopped thinking about 'that' future." I added, feeling a ripple of sadness consuming .
"...And because of that, the Shyamal incident happened."
I stopped the recorder as I took in deep breaths to stop panicking.
I always thought sothing happened after that one festival.
Azariah vanished for months, and even though I tried, I couldn't find him.
And...
...When I t Inës in Akasha and she 'showed' what he had gone through during that ti....it broke my heart.
...It was even more heartbreaking because I had seen him cry in my embrace before.
All because of his own mother.
Tears trickled down my eyes.
I wiped them, but they kept streaming down my face.
I slowly sat on the ground.
Scared and afraid.
...I don't want to 'die.'
I don't want to leave him alone.
I kept crying like a child, holding myself.
Minutes passed, and I finally got a hold of myself.
I drew in a deep breath to stop myself from trembling.
It's my last ssage to him; I don't want my voice to co out sad or pathetic.
"...When I was thirteen, Annastia offered to beco her Avatar, and surprisingly she told the reason for it." I said, closing my eyes.
"But as much as I appreciated her honesty...I hated her reason...I hated how she wanted to manipulate you using , so I rejected her offer and tried to fix things myself."
I still rember how I used to roam behind Azariah all day.
....How I always tried to stop him from drinking or beating people.
Even though he used to yell at or even throw things at , I always tried to help him.
...But.
In the end, I started to wonder....
'What about ?' Why don't my feelings matter?
....Everyone was having good tis with their loved ones except .
The small child in back then wanted to have a normal love life.
A good fiancé who wasn't neglectful like my father was to my mother.
....A fiancé who didn't slap in front of everyone.
"After trying for years and getting humiliated every ti...I gave up." I confessed, closing my eyes. "...And like a coward, I ran away to Akasha."
I sighed once again, rubbing my teary eyes.
I still rember how much my heart bled that ti when I left him.
How painful it was to leave him alone.
...But, I was so annoyed and angry that I did it nonetheless.
"I thought it might subdue my feelings for you, but, oh, how wrong I was." I smiled as I gazed up at the starry sky. "...It just made my situation worse."
Every day, I would think about him.
Every night, I would dream about him.
And as ti passed, it kept on getting worse.
"....In the end, I ca to the conclusion." I said, my voice sweet. "If I don't go to you, then I wouldn't have anywhere to go." Oh my beloved, you don't know how much I wanted to have a glimpse of you at that ti.
...How much I missed you.
"You know, I t soone who changed my life in Akasha." I said, my eyes involuntarily moving to the eight-pointed star in the sky. "...Soone who helped with my feelings."
'Are you listening?' []
'I am sorry.' []
"And that soone told about your condition when I returned from Akasha." I added, exhaling deeply. "...How you were slowly dying."
....It was hard.
It was hard to keep smiling around him without breaking down.
....Knowing how the one I loved the most was dying, and I couldn't do anything.
"In the end, I accepted Anastasia's
offer, and in return, I asked for the location of tears of eternal love—Dumal-Hubb."
I said as I turned around, slowly walking towards the gate. "....But like I said, I hated how she wanted to manipulate you through ."
Opening the door, I entered the room.
The place felt a little warm as I walked towards the bed.
"As you may know, gods can forcefully control their avatars if necessary, and I was sure she would do the sa if things didn't go according to her." I said as I sat down on the bed.
"....So, I ca up with a plan."
My gaze shifted towards the photo fra placed on the table.
I smiled gently as I looked at the photo of and Azariah from the trip.
"...A way that would make sure you wouldn't die." I said as I picked up the photo fra. "...But for that plan to succeed, I needed to pay a price."
....That reminds of a line I heard in Akasha.
'When the passion of loving soone exceeds limits...You ascend to the deathbed smiling, for your lover.' "I know you will hate for what I did, and I understand it." I said as I closed my eyes. "..But I hope you can forgive for breaking your heart."
The mories that I spent with him started to flash past my eyes.
How I first t him, talked with him, played with him, always lived with him.
...And our first ti.
Sothing clicked in my mind as I abruptly opened my eyes.
"...Oh, and I might have broken so important promises with soone." I said with an awkward chuckle. "...It won't affect you much....probably."
'...I hope you survive that, my love.' I sighed once again, looking at the ceiling.
....I don't know what else I should say.
I thought I would have hours of things I would like to tell him.
...But it seems like there isn't much I could say now.
"You know, Azariah." I said, as I rembered sothing sweet.
"...I dread about a little girl once, with the sa purple eyes as you and hair like mine."
I smiled at the thought as I looked at the clock.
It was past midnight.
I think that's all I would like to say today.
"...Always rember, Azariah." I sighed as I brought the recorder closer.
***
***
"No matter where you are, or what you are doing, or who you are with...I will honestly, truly, completely love you."
The recording ended.
I blankly looked at the recorder tightly held in my hand.
The place I sat creaked while my body gently moved like rising waves.
I let out a tired sigh as I looked at the clear afternoon sky above .
The sll of salt engulfed my nose.
"Can you hear , El?"
I asked softly.
I don't even rember how many tis I had asked this.
"..."
No reply.
[]
Another calm and soothing voice echoed in my head instead.
"....."
I didn't reply as I kept my gaze on the sky.
Ti passed as I absentmindedly stared upward.
I raised my right hand and looked at the mark engraved on it.
...A golden star marking.
I willed it, and the engraving burned before it began to engulf my body in golden markings.
I stopped it midway, making it return back.
Finally, I whispered.
"...Inna."
[]
"Was it necessary for her to 'die'?" I asked, leaning against the moving wall.
[]
"I would have been happy if she just stayed by my side," I mumbled, rubbing my eyes.
A humming sound echoed beside , making glance at the cluster of red and gold.
It turned into a tall lady with a face too smooth, pale skin that scread goddess.
She had voluminous, flowing golden blonde hair cascading down her shoulders, touching the ground.
Her crimson eyes stared at , lips trembling.
Her black gown, adorned with gold embellishnts, bent along with her as she sat beside .
She gently wrapped her hands around my head, bringing into her embrace.
"Everything will be alright," she whispered, gently patting my head.
"...I hate that idiot," I mumbled, closing my eyes. "...Why is she beautiful but has zero brain cells?"
She chuckled softly without replying.
A sudden jerk made snap out of her embrace.
"Azariah!"
I looked at Inna, and she nodded gently before vanishing.
I stood up from my place lazily as I walked forward.
My gaze shifted to the deep sea as I grabbed a rope for support.
Slowly, I walked to the deck of the boat I was on, where a young man was already standing.
"Is this the place?" Aimar, with his hair tied in a bun, asked, glancing back. "...Azariah, or should I call you Himl now?"
"Call whatever you like," I said as I stood beside him.
In front of us was a huge island, trees covering it entirely.
"We're at the right place," I mumbled, nodding my head.
"So, where is the guardian?" he asked, squinting his eyes at the island.
"ROOOAR!!!" And as if waiting for his words, a thunderous roar echoed.
A shadow lood over, making us both look up.
A large creature flew above our boat, its scaly body clearly visible.
The creature landed on the island's shore before turning towards us.
"....Is that a dragon?" Aimar asked, too shocked to give a proper reaction.
"Yep," I replied with a bright smile.
"...We need to kill it?"
"Of course," I replied as I looked back at the dragon. "...It's one v/s two. Easy win."
He looked at weirdly before his lips parted. "....I hate being friends with you."
I chuckled softly as I gazed up at the dragon.
The guardian of Dumal-Hubb.
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