Reincarnated With A Glitched System: Why Is My MP Not Running Out? Chapter 337 Do I Deserve What I Have?

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While having dinner I ended sitting next to Mary instead of Aquarina or my parents. Mostly because I wanted to speak with her about certain things. I felt slightly concerned about what she could had seen through my heart. I wanted to know if there was sothing there that could give certain clues about myself. I had suddenly felt as if I didn't really deserved what I had, and this thought further increased as I began to think that I wasn't really soone without flaws, I guess I have many too.

Maybe because I've been trying to beco a new person, I am trying to leave them behind, but they have started to tornt my own thoughts once more. More than anything, my anxiety and insecurity. I suppose that battle with Hell back then… it still lingering within my mind as a trauma. It probably is also lingering within Aquarina and could be another big reason on why she feels comfortable when she's with , because she might feel protected. Perhaps she doesn't want to be alone as she might be afraid of sothing similar to happen. I cannot bla her; I think the sa most of the ti

"Mother Mary…"

"Hm? Y-Yes, Sylphy?"

Mary looked at with a gentle and slightly shy gaze.

"What did you… see from my heart?" I asked her timidly.

"Huh?" She wondered.

"You saw through my heart, right? What did you see?" I asked again.

"What did I see…" Mary muttered while thinking. "Well, I saw a troubled heart. You seem afraid, very afraid of things, Sylphy, perhaps more than other people… But sohow, you're covering that fear with a lot of bravery, maybe… Is this what you wanted to tell you? Your heart is pure and lacks darkness… You're a good person, Sylphy. You're in fact, much like any other person out there, afraid, with insecurities, but still trying to do your best… We all try… t-to do our best."

"Mother Mary…" I sighed. "I often wonder… If I am really deserving of having the family and the friends I have… Sotis it feels as if all these people were given to without doing anything at all, it doesn't feel as if I earned them… It feels like… they would be way better off with any of the children here…"

"F-For how long have you been thinking this way?" She wondered.

"S-Since a long ti…" I sighed.

"T-That's not a normal thinking that a child should have…" Sighed Mary. "At your age, you should be playful, cheeky, and asking to be spoiled… Don't overthink such things. It is not as if you get the choose of picking your family and your friends, right? Things just happen… S-So of us have it rougher, while others easier… B-But I am sure that you've gone through a f-fair deal of troubles, right? I can notice it within your anxiety and your nervousness… Y-You're not at all the spoiled girl you think you are… In fact, you're quite a-amazing, so little yet so capable, you have a strong will… You're not perfect, nobody is perfect… Don't try to seek perfection, dear… W-We are all imperfect, it is what… makes us special."

Her words suddenly hit strongly. My heart began to beat faster as I blushed a bit. I think… I was slightly enlightened, and also felt embarrassed all at the sa ti. I have… been thinking just stupid things due to my own insecurities, but she's right. I am… not perfect, I don't have to seek perfection either, I don't have to try to beco the best there is or sothing. I just want to learn magic and spend ti with my friends. I want to be stronger to survive, not just for my own selfishness.

Despite her stuttering, Mother Mary is amazing with words, with just that, she made realize I was being too stupid, and it made feel embarrassed with myself. Although I always think that soone else should take my place instead, soone more deserving… It is not as if that's possible at all. We never choose how we are born, or how we are given a family and friends.

Things just happen, just as she said. We have to appreciate the present and… embrace the people around us, instead of constantly self-loathing myself into thinking I don't deserve them. I will instead give them all my love and try to make them happy.

"Y-You're right… Sorry for bothering you with sothing so dumb… Sigh… I am so stupid…" I sighed, I began to stutter myself now. I had never felt this embarrassed before.

"No, you aren't. You were rely being like a normal person is! Don't attribute things you feel embarrassed with as stupidity… D-Don't be rough on yourself, we all are curious and uncertain about everything, even ourselves. As long as you always r-rember being yourself, the person everyone loves… and to be genuine with yourself as well, then… there's nothing wrong with it." Mary said with a gentle smile, as she timidly petted my head.

"Thanks… You're such an amazing person, Mother Mary… Sniff… I am sad I wasn't able to et you earlier!" I cried, as I ended hugging her.

"Uwaah! Haha… I-I am glad you think that way… B-But we are having dinner, Sylphy…" Mary said, as I suddenly noticed various children staring at angrily, it seems they got a bit jealous I got so close with their adoptive mother.

"Ahh… Ah…" Mother Lucia gently whispered sothing, as if to make herself noticed, she quickly sat down near and petted my head, feeding food with a spoon like a baby.

"W-Wait, I am not a baby anymore- Guh…!"

"Hehe…" Lucia giggled adorably, as she petted my head and continued feeding .

I guess I am still kind of a child… not even being ten years of age and all. My parents don't feed because I requested them to stop, but I suppose the people here don't know.

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