"When I pulled the trigger, I didn’t feel anything. The distance was too far, it was settled in an instant. We hurried to rescue the hostages, and once I stood before them, I vomited again. Yes, dear, I wasn’t truthful with you initially. I said I threw up after eating tofu pudding and then didn’t vomit again, but actually, I did vomit that ti too."
Qian seed to grasp a bit of why he chose to share a story he didn’t want to tell anyone else with her today.
"I was down for a while. Even went through conversations with the psychology intervention team, but they couldn’t detect anything."
"You belong to those who can resist therapy, so it’s normal they couldn’t find anything." Qian herself was such a person too, making any psychological issue hard to treat; being too clever isn’t necessarily a good thing.
"Later I took a leave and visited the little girl I saved, and got better upon returning. During those days, my most despised activity was firing a gun, but whenever orders ca, I had no choice but to comply. If I didn’t, more ordinary people would suffer."
"You’re very adept at self-regulation. Actually, many snipers who’ve participated in foreign wars end up with warti psychological trauma after discharge, resulting in high chances of violence and suicide."
Foreign veterans, after discharge, have a high probability of becoming mass murderers or committing suicide, with ntal conditions being precarious. After all, they killed many on the battlefield, regardless of whether their thoughts during shooting were of justice and truth, the aftermath could be significant.
"This has been a topic we’ve continuously focused on. Relatively fewer cases like this occur here because our people have beliefs. Similarly, my i possesses the insight to grasp human nature’s weaknesses. When you undertake tasks, as long as you have faith and a baseline, you won’t lose yourself."
This was the true purpose of Yu Minglang’s conversation with Qian.
He saw it.
Qian knew he saw through her; any emotional shift she experienced slightly, he was already aware.
"I’m just feeling uncomfortable; Mai definitely deserves his fate, but ultimately, I changed the trajectory of his life."
Yu Minglang sses her hair, "Soone like Mahadi will stop at nothing to get what he wants, using marriage and love as bait to deceive won. Now landing in Songg Qingwu’s hands could actually be good for him; Song can help him achieve what he desires. Just transitioning from deceiving won to being deceived by n doesn’t make a difference."
"I know, just a bit of discomfort, chatting with you made it better."
"Feeling a bit uncomfortable ans you’re still normal. If you had no response at all, that would be truly frightening."
Yu Minglang liked this side of Qian—decisive yet not stone-hearted, capable of changing soone’s destiny but not acting impulsively. She just had the right balance.
"It’s alright, let’s head inside and skewer so at, I’ll help you." After this guidance, Qian felt at peace.
Yu Minglang felt more nervous hearing her enter the kitchen than seeing bad guys; together, Mai and Songg Qingwu’s combined efforts couldn’t match the frightening destruction she could wreak in the kitchen!
Hence, Qian was assigned the simplest task of skewering atballs. Yu Minglang ensured these were large enough to avoid any mistakes that might cause significant damage, but for safety’s sake, he got her a small stool to sit far away from all the kitchen utensils.
"Why does Chrysanthemum Mai have such features?" Yu Minglang wondered, why would anyone enjoy being abused?
How much of a masochist are you?
"Why do you add chili powder when eating barbeque, or why do so people like bungee jumping? It’s all for stimulation. Currently, the public tends to demonize the SM aspect. Part cos from the vulgar content you n watch in daily life. Tying soone up and bringing them off the street is absolutely unacceptable; you’ll be arrested. But SM isn’t a coercive act; it’s founded on mutual consent."
"Apparently, the sadist ’S’ controls everything, but actually, it’s not the case. In SM, ’M’ is the one who genuinely holds absolute control."
Psychologists believe that it’s the masochist ’M’ who crucially decides the behavior of ’S’, and all actions from ’S’ are catered to ’M’s happiness.
Don’t imitate; those who imitate after reading are thought to have issues.
"Look at Westerners; nothing to brag about. What I’m saying is most people involved in such practices have ntal health that’s within normal ranges. A philosopher once said, between people, ultimately the relationship is either assaulting or being assaulted. If you consider Confucian ethics like ruler-minister, father-son, husband-wife, aren’t these all founded on ntal domination? So enjoy the feeling of conquering others; so prefer being conquered. People naturally accept spiritual elents, but when it cos to physical aspects, they feel it’s abnormal. It’s truly strange. Analyzing things from a psychological perspective can reveal many different layers."
Those won who enjoy being bossed around by their husbands believe that a life without childbirth is incomplete, are willing to dedicate everything to their families, eat leftovers or be frugal, others might see this as abusive, but they’re enjoying it themselves, and you can’t say this is an unhealthy mindset. Many won enjoy the process of devotion, as there’s a willing batterer and a willing victim, no right or wrong here.
"I think philosophy is just sothing that can wrap people around." Yu Minglang understood sowhat but felt a frightening depth upon further thought; this topic can’t continue further, or it might lead to problems.
"In the end, it’s about the relationship between human nature and ethical standards. When nature doesn’t get released and fulfilled, psychological issues erge. Based on Mai’s attitude toward won, he likely had an unfortunate childhood, with his mother being just one among his father’s many won, uncared for and maybe even beaten. Such resentnt passes to the child, causing him to disdain won and view them as low-intelligence beings, while deep down, there’s an urge for masochism."
"Dear, when I’m unemployed later, I’ll set up a stall with you, predicting futures. You not only see through soone’s current thoughts but also can analyze soone’s growth trajectory; not fortune-telling would be a waste. I’ll mix with you like Daodao mixed with Narcissus."
"In our eyes, every person is like a canvas, displaying what kind of experience they’ll have. I’ll deduce growth processes just like you handle business; nothing peculiar."
"No, wait, I just heard sothing important—did you say Daodao mixed with Narcissus?"
Lately, the emotions of the two won beside Qian have been at opposite extres; after breaking up with a bad guy, Liui started her new romance with Fugui glowing brightly, with two emotionally clueless people together kindling infinite love sparks, crackling.
While on Narcissus’ side, there’s a lifeless atmosphere like dead water, with an attitude like she’s lost love, and the whole world owes her a Daodao.
"Yes, Daodao left ; Daodao talked to once, weighing pros and cons he made a tough decision."
More than tough, when Daodao had heartfelt talks with Yu Minglang, he paused several tis in silence.
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