“How did you get this?” Arwin asked, holding the invitation gingerly as if it was about to dissolve into midair.
“Why’s that matter?” Esrelda asked. “It just kind of wound up in my hands. That happens, you know. It’s just a coincidence.”
“A coincidence is bumping into an old friend in a market,” Art said. “It is not happening to have the very object we’ve all decided we need. Especially not when said object is sothing that has to be specifically signed and issued to the nagerie — which this is. Is it a forgery?”
“What? No!” Esrelda’s eyes narrowed. “What do you take for, boy? A scamr?”
“My answer would be considerably worse than a scamr.”
“Good,” Esrelda said with a satisfied nod. “I’d have been worried I was slacking in my duties if you were of that opinion.”
“That is not sothing to be proud of,” Anna said. “Esrelda, please tell you didn’t do anything to antagonize Thane. He’s a good kid.”
“Bah. I just sold him a few things.”
Every single eye in the room narrowed.
“What?” Esrelda asked. “Stop looking at like that. I didn’t give him anything bad. He asked for all of it. Damn little bugger even knew the items were cursed. He didn’t seem to care in the slightest. He knows the risks of everything he got.”
“What exactly did you give him?” Arwin asked warily.
“A butter knife and a rusty old sword handle.”
“Are either of those objects liable to kill him?”
“No,” Esrelda said. She paused for a mont. “Probably not.”
“Are they going to maim him horribly?” Olive asked.
“What kind of person do you take for?” Esrelda exclaid, clasping a hand to her chest in horror.
“A terribly vile one,” Madiv said without missing a beat.
“Why, thank you,” Esrelda said, sending him a delighted smile. “Thane will be fine. I promised Arwin that I wouldn’t go around doing too much harm. Sure, I enjoy skirting the rules, but I’m not going to straight up kill a child that doesn’t have it coming.”
“Weren’t you trying to sell him a more powerful magical item than the one he actually got?” Elias asked, clearing his throat. “That feels… sowhat adjacent.”
“It couldn’t be farther,” Esrelda said crossly. “Power is power. Those who seek it will inevitably find it. All I offer is a path that helps people unite with that power in a slightly different and mutually beneficial way.”
“Perhaps you could elaborate on that?” Arwin asked, splaying his fingers out on the table as he let out a slow sigh. “This has been a long ti coming, Esrelda. I think we’ve got too many questions to just ignore at this point. And I’m pretty sure I told you to stop selling Cursed items entirely.”
“And I’m sure you promised Lillia that you’d show up to bed on ti too.” Esrelda let out a dry cackle. “It’s about following the nature of a promise, not the word. You don’t have an issue with Cursed items. You’d be quite the hypocrite if you did.”
She sent a very pointed look at Olive’s arm.
Arwin cleared his throat. Esrelda had a bit of a point. But the Cursed items he made weren’t the sa as the ones she sold. His increased the risk soone bore in exchange for giving them a chance to beco more powerful. Hers were actively detrintal… right?
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He blinked. Then he pinched the bridge of his nose.
…they’re the sa thing.
“You may have sothing of a point, but that doesn’t validate your whole argunt,” Arwin said. “I may be being slightly hypocritical, but I make sure people who I make Cursed items are very aware of what it is they have. You’re putting them into dangerous situations.”
“The world is dangerous. Better to learn to deal with a sword as a child than to first hold one as an adult.”
“Sothing tells that isn’t true, but I don’t actually have a rebuttal for it yet,” Rodrick muttered. “My dad gave a sword when I was a kid.”
“Mine too,” Elias said. “But I think a cursed weapon is considerably more dangerous than a re blade.”
“In so ways, it is,” Esrelda allowed. “I’ll give you that. Cursed items are far more powerful than any re sword.”
“Then?” Anna arched an eyebrow and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Esrelda, you’re a genius potion maker. You have so many other ways you could easily earn a living. A very good one. Why do you insist on selling these items to people? There has to be a reason.”
“Of course there’s a reason,” Esrelda snapped. “You’ll notice nobody we care about has found themselves suddenly in possession of a soul-sucking sword. That isn’t a coincidence. I ensure that the real nasty curses only end up with the people that deserve them. The other ones — the ones that aren’t actively malicious — land in the hands of people who can bear their responsibility. Usually. There are a few little knickknacks. Butter knives that lt your hands when not used for butter. That manner of thing. But that’s just a hand. You’ve got two of them, don’t you?”
“No,” Olive said.
Arwin bit back a laugh. He wasn’t so sure Esrelda’s argunt was entirely convincing, but there was one thing she’d ntioned that stuck with him. He couldn’t recall a single ntion of anyone getting seriously injured by a Cursed item.
Sure, a portion of that was probably because of Esrelda’s sheer inability to sell an item in almost every single circumstance, but surely at least a few people would have been talking about it.
He sent a glance at Rodrick. The expression on the forr paladin’s face told Arwin that Rodrick was wondering the sa thing. He caught Arwin looking at him and shook his head.
So he hasn’t heard anything either. That’s odd. Really odd. Then again, it could also an that Esrelda managed to sell sothing so dangerous that it just killed anyone who might have found out about it.
Art looked similarly lost, though he’d probably looked far less into Esrelda than Rodrick had.
“So what’s the reason?” Lillia asked. “You never actually said.”
Esrelda hesitated for a second. Then she blew out an exasperated sigh. “Do I really have to say? I already know it’s going to get taken out of context. Why should we care what I sell our enemies?”
“Thane is not our enemy,” Arwin said.
“Thane isn’t going to cut things other than butter with his butterknife. I thought the kid was an idiot, but he’s actually quite intelligent. He isn’t going to run afoul of that curse. That’s the point.”
“Not cutting it,” Arwin said firmly. “Esrelda, we need to know. We’re trying to be better than the Adventurer’s Guild. I don’t know how we can claim that if we don’t know why you refuse to stop selling Cursed items to people. You’re running circles around giving us an answer.”
“And your circles aren’t very straight,” Arwin said. “You’re good at a lot of things, but lying really isn’t one of them. Nor is selling, for that matter.”
Esrelda glared at him. “You’re not too old for to spank.”
“No, he’s right,” Raen said, clearing his throat. “Not to butt in. I’m not really part of this conversation… but I’ve seen enough. You’re a horrid saleswoman. For that matter, you don’t strike as a salesperson at all. For a rchant whose entire shtick seems to be scamming people into taking an evil weapon, you’re awful. I’ve been in your shop before, and you were so bad at it that you convinced not to buy anything before I even had a chance to get interested.”
“I get you all what you need and then you all decide it’s ti to complain about ,” Esrelda grumbled. “Rude, really. Bunch of insolent little brats. You want the answer?”
“Yes,” Lillia said. “That would be nice, actually.”
“Fine. Pat yourselves on the back, you lot. You’re right. My class isn’t that of a rchant. Not in the slightest. Cursed items aren’t actually my trade. People are.”
“That sohow doesn’t answer anything,” Vix said, leaning forward curiously. “What do you an?”
“There are a great many things in this world that are dangerously powerful,” Esrelda said, her features thin. “And those things will find their way into soone’s hands one way or another. Hide them and they free themselves. Destroy them and they co back. They cannot be denied… but they can be managed. Distributed at the right ti, to the right person.”
“Wait,” Lillia said. “Are you saying that you’re—”
“—distributing them to people that can withstand them. Esrelda deals with demons, devils, and all manners of cursed items. She’s a jailer that has to keep her inmates rotating so the prison doesn’t get too full,” Eleven said, her head lifting from the table as she let out a long yawn. “Sorry. You were going on too long, and I’ve known this for a while. We make it a point to keep track of everyone whose class has been Sunsetted — and we would have to have been blind and deaf to not know of Esrelda the Curse Broker.”
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