Rose Blumen ~ Exogignesthai 383. Qualia, 4

(Licht)

I survived that ti.

I survived the aftermath of my encounter with Priest.

My wounds healed reasonably over ti, aside for my missing arm.

And I was still in obvious decline. It was hard to travel with a single hand and trembling legs.

Europe, this land has been harsh on lately. It’s been harder to live on.

And I was growing weaker each passing day. I was struggling to live through each of them.

I could guess my doom at the end of each day.

Every morning, I ended up waking up thinking up with so surprise that I was able to live on through another day.

Another day, another challenge.

Every day I was tempted to cross the line.

I still carried the stone of Licht.

I was still carrying that slightly glowing artefact that carried what was left of that will.

I was tempted to use it, to fully regenerate and beco the Licht I already was becoming.

But crossing that line ant another form of doom, which I wasn’t ready to face.

Becoming sothing bright and powerful this way also ant a short term collapse of my humanity and life.

That stone tempted every day to forget how much I suffered.

I held on, like any animal. I crawled, clenching my teeth, walking as long and as far as I could.

~

My pitiful self eventually reached a rural area where survivors once dwelled.

A city of survivors, now lying in ruins.

Everything had burnt, not so long ago.

So stains here and there, I could guess had once been human beings. Many had died, by the wrath of a monster.

Probably from the claws of the likes of Priest. Zealots unconcerned about the long consequences of their virtuous actions.

That city had gathered a lot of materials and people. Amidst the ruins, I found dicinal supplies. I also found a few young adults still alive and gathering what could be still salvaged.

The young man adjusted his glasses when he saw , obviously surprised.

I probably looked like I already died.

~

The man and his recomposed family were leaving the area for good. After gathering the last useful items and burying the remains, they would leave and regroup with others elsewhere.

The last ones still healthy would join the ones who left before, after the last few ones about to die would pass away.

Many of them were now fighting disease, age and exhaustion, regrouped in a sanatorium.

Most people in his group thought I would join the group of the dying ones there. To enjoy my last few days on Earth with their gentle care until the end and their emigration.

That wouldn’t be it.

I know I will die, but it won’t be here, not like that.

When I die, it won’t be lying on a bed waiting to pass away.

I will die fighting, and I will never have a grave.

But more importantly on this day, I realised the man was a surgeon or at least a doctor.

And I saw an opportunity to do sothing more.

I needed new flesh.

I needed more blood.

And I wanted a new arm.

He could help getting all that, with the ones passing on.

I scared him and his friends, when I told him what my wishes were.

But we made a pact nonetheless.

I might have spooked him with what the side roads of humanity could be out-there, but he accepted to help .

In exchange, I pointed out to them on their maps where I had seen other survivors during my travels, and which areas would be best to avoid at all costs. I shared all the knowledge of what awaited them out-there I could spare.

For that price, though I would have given the information regardless, they agreed to give the flesh of the next ones to die, in order to operate and transplant parts of them onto .

~

Of course he was scared.

Of course it was insane.

A blood transfusion won’t cure radiation poisoning, and an arm transplant will be rejected by the body rapidly, without ever coming to function properly.

Even though he lived in this world for years like everyone else, even though he had his share of weird oddities happening near him, this was still quite a leap of faith.

He tried to warn the transplants I asked for would not work. Repeatedly.

I knew as a human this would be true. But as a daiûa... I can make so of it beco true.

I would make it work with patience and tweaks my power as Licht allows.

He couldn’t see it, and I couldn’t spare to show him. The balance between my biology and my power was already weak. I might just fail and die, but I think I will make it, and make what I can get mine.

He agreed to operate , but this was a picture of horror and insanity in his mind.

I’m afraid I shocked him in more ways than one. Nothing might have made sense anymore, but he did it.

I broke his mind, and he followed behind.

I’m sorry...

But even if I have to beco a monster, I have to survive...

~

The operations were done live, without anaesthetics, and in a non-sterile environnt to top it off.

I held onto the glowing stone lting into the palm of my left hand, generating a flow of air around us, along with a diffuse sterile light.

An extension of my body to use cautiously.

It also made my flesh less prone to bleeding and more intent on sticking and absorbing what was given to it.

I could feel my face being rejuvenated while that light was on. It wouldn’t last. I will catch up and age even faster afterward. But for now, I’m making the surgeries achievable.

I still have to endure terrible pain, as he stitches filets of flesh and skin over , where I had too much decayed.

I had these weird crevices here and there, down to the bones. The skin and flesh of a dead man ca to fill them.

The good doctor could see that my skinned flesh was eager to absorb what ca to stick on it under that soft light. The ats of two different colours rapidly lted into one another, showing there was barely anything human left in my tabolism but my overall appearance at this point. I was already a monster. Now I would be stitched all over and repaired with the help of the dead.

Patches of different colours gradually appeared all over .

And finally, the pièce de résistance, a full right arm.

The good man dislocated what was left of mine at my elbow. I held my screams of pain.

Then, he was attaching an arm that was never ant to be compatible with mine in any way or form.

He still proceeded to staple and sew the muscles back together. The nerves. Then so bigger blood vessels, and finally the skin.

He could see the flesh beginning to move and react, slightly lting, as soon as he left it behind to work on another spot.

I endured everything in a daze, leaving my body to work its wonders, until the end.

~

I woke up from my passing out during the surgery. I felt awful.

Maybe I acted out of panic more than foresight.

I was near the end.

I had to seize the opportunity I could see.

I made a rash decision, but I had barely any other choice.

There is a fear out there that calls . That Priest.

I can’t avoid it. I have to go and face it.

That doom looming over , making feel like I can’t escape it, I will face it.

Priest...

I’m fading.

I’m holding onto the wish stone left by the previous Licht again.

I will continue to use the minimum amount of it to survive.

With so luck, all that was given to through surgery will lighten the burden on my flesh and light.

I’m falling asleep again.

And either my body will manage to do the rest and seize that chance I saw, or that will be the end.

I asked the surgeon to leave in a sheltered place before they left. But they can leave there.

Just leave to sleep for a little while, and don’t worry about it.

I’m not their responsibility. I don’t want to be either.

I’m feeling confused I must say, as I feel my mind falling and slumber around my senses.

Surviving doesn’t help the mind to grow.

I will feel better once I wake up, and have a new arm.

I’m quite sure of it.

And if a war is about to start, and you can’t see it... What’s the best thing to do? What’s the real best thing to do?

I couldn’t quite figure it out yet at the ti...

So I ran toward my fate, and this situation.

I wanted a new arm and higher chances to survive first.

Hopefully I would later find out the best course of action I recall thinking back then.

I forgot about it afterward, but I recall really trying my best to find a solution to the situation.

The life of Rose Blu, the fate of Licht and Priest, and even the other roses, the humans and the new gods.

All of them appeared as a twirling puzzle and scattered pieces hovering around one another. They could et with potentially disastrous outcos.

My role between all of them, was to find the true solution...

~