(Rose)
I woke up drooling on that couch. I don’t rember much but I don’t think much happened yesterday.
R - I guess alcohol makes sleepy and that’s about it... How do you feel Blu?
She doesn’t reply. She did not greet . I’m worried now. As I move a little, I feel a harsh pain in her vines, all along them. It hurts.
R - Blu? Are you there?
Worry grows. What happened? I move her body around and it hurts a lot. The ribbons slither silently but painfully. They feel sore, painfully sore. My head doesn’t hurt that much.
I think, maybe she’s dreaming, asleep... She might be sleeping. The curious one.
Outside, the light of day sips in through the ice covering everything. The car is like a shipwreck lost in the arctic, encased in ices now.
It feels oddly quiet without her, as I slip out of the car.
Spots of light cover the ceiling falling apart.
This journey I’m in.
I wouldn’t have made it this far without her, nor this long.
I feel very odd on this morning. Because I know she’s sleeping sowhere within ?
We didn’t get as rry as I thought we would, but that’s how life goes.
I walk around the ice, frozen flood from yesterday’s rain. I look at myself in the mirrors of the car. My hair still is mostly white on the tips, but it grows in normal colour everywhere again. My face looks old. I’ve never looked young anyway. I sigh.
I guess I feel a little sad when I’m lonely. This life is unbalanced without her awake with .
An odd monster I host in my own flesh and mind. I look at that odd place between my breasts where all its body grows and spread. Most of it anyway. We share everything. My identity sure has beco sothing confusing in more ways than one.
~
When Blu wakes up, I’m already outside the buried building. I’m walking slowly on a frozen lake across the countryside.
She sounds half awake, it’s funny to hear.
B - Hm... Good morning Rose... Ouch, my body hurts...
R - Rise and shine sleepyhead. Maybe you feel sore because of how much you sang yesterday.
B - Did I? This was the first ti I ever slept in my whole life... This feels so strange... It felt like dying for a mont, I was scared. It was, well, so comfortable with you however. So I followed you. My body didn’t like it though, ouch. You don’t look so much in pain when your body rises.
R - Maybe you’re just not used to it... So alcohol can make you sleep. Good to know...
But more than teasing her about it, I want to know...
R - Do you rember dreaming?
B - I... I’m not sure if that’s what I experienced. I...
I feel tears swelling up in my eyes suddenly. I stop walking, surprised, to wipe them. Uh? I realise they’re not mine.
She’s crying...
She’s crying!
My eyes open wider as I understand it. I almost fall to my knees, agape in front of nowhere.
Not only because I get a view at what she feels.
Because of my past.
Tears of... Tears of her.
HER.
This brings back to the mories and tale of this other flower buried in my past.
The one that ran through us four sisters like a vow or a promise.
I shiver about a feeling I cannot na.
I’m a little scared...
The tears dry up after a little while, where I sat like a lifeless doll on the middle of that field of snow and ice.
That she can cry brought back difficult mories to .
But back to the present day, also makes worry.
R - What did you experience?
She moves vividly around my skin and fully cos out from my clothes, despite the sharp pain in her nerves. She protrudes and stretches out like a giant snake made of scarves, or a monstrous parasite.
She scares . It’s as if a large sculpture of a snake made of twigs was looking at .
R - Why did you cry?
She cries again, through my own eyes. Why?
B - I experienced... The difference between us. The size of the gap between our beings and existences.
R - We’re... Closer than most people can ever be. I know I haven’t reciprocated your feelings as much as I should but...
B - I know that. I slept in your brain. I saw everything. I was floating inside your mories and feelings.
My heart aches. I cannot hide anything. I have no intimacy.
R - I do love you. No matter what you are.
She doesn’t move nor reply. That thing stands there in a curve stretching out from and above , as I’m sitting there, unable to move.
R - Is the bliss from being with gone, now that you’ve taken a deeper look inside of ?
At that, she laughs.
B - I’m the one who should have said that... No, over ti, so of that initial bliss sohow faded you might say, but what saddens is further.
R - Further?
B - No matter how close I am to you, our loves for each other are only shared as lowest common denominator. Your kindness of heart for sothing like still has conscious and unconscious limitations, as for my shapeless and parasitic form. Whereas what I experience of love is very far from most of the feelings you would describe as such... This is what I saw.
R - The simple fact that we don’t love each other in the sa manner?
B - It goes a little further than that... Our bodies... Our body, it’s similarly inadequate for both of our desires. Our mind...
R - Blu, the alcohol was no good to you. Pull yourself together and co back to .
B - I... I’m not...
R - If you say you are not worthy of , I will slap you so hard that you will regret it.
She’s in shambles. Being drunk broke her mind harder than I thought it could. She’s tearing up again. She wants to leave and cry like a child. For the first ti, she’s the one needing comfort. I open my arms widely. I speak sincerely.
R - I love you Blu. Now co back to . I want you with !
She shivers. She jumps at in tears, to embrace in a shapeless way. She calls my na in tears as she crawls over and in my arms.
We sort of hug there, lying down on the snow, while she keeps repeating that she loves so much.
I love you too. No matter how imperfect we are.
~
All she experienced was a bad dream. A depression and a lack of confidence followed.
I’ve co to love her, and I want her to be a little more true to herself. I tell her that. The balance between us in our relationship always needs so adjusting. It’s naturally shifting a wrong way or another.
For now, as she needs so comforts while the effects of her alcohol poisoning dissipates, I tell her she can act a little more selfishly. I can grant her a wish if she wants to.
B - Can I?
R - Sure. I know you will be reasonable.
She softly pushes down. Her soft ribbons co to shape sothing above my face. I think I know what she wishes for.
She presses herself onto my lips. She brushes them gently. She kissed the only way she can.
She then returns around my waist and cries a little more, thanking softly.
I’m brushing away the tears with a smile. So of them may be mine also.
My heart did flutter.
I stand up and brush the snow away from my clothes. I resu the walk.
South East, toward the Channel.
Together, gently.
~
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