Rose Blumen ~ Exogignesthai 088. Nightmare, 3

(Rose)

For a second or two I wondered if I was dead. I think I’m not. Not yet.

I’m drowning in blood and guts. It died on , over I think. I can move a tiny bit in this moving flow. I try to escape.

Soone grabs my hand and attempts to pull out.

It takes painful efforts, but they manage to pull out from this humongous pile of decaying at. Another day, another dead body.

~

I feel so weird. I can’t tell anymore how or what I feel. It’s too much. It’s like I’m falling. I can’t control where my body is going. Dark things are clouding my mind. My muscles are twitching without reason here and there.

I’m being pulled away as I’m unable to react for a short while.

Before I realised it, we’re outside, walking rapidly away. Soone is pulling my hand, helping . I’m unable to react for myself, I need help. I’m burned out.

The sky is clear. The weather is warm. It’s probably a nice English sumr day. But it feels like we found ourselves in the middle of enemy territory sohow. The danger is deadly at best, and sowhere between too close, too real, and surreal.

I’m all sticky and the stench makes nauseous. I can’t look at the sky. The excessive light of day turns weirdly into darkness into my eyes.

The sky turns dark orange when I look at it. The clouds a darker brown. The sun appears pitch black.

There’s sothing wrong with my eyes, or my brain. I feel terribly sad while I look at the sun for a second.

I think it’s dangerous for to look at the sky for now.

I think we’re walking alongside a road. I see birds flying. Their colours keep changing?

I moan. Sothing in my stomach is too painful. I release it violently. It hurts my throat. It’s like lumps of flesh that I wouldn’t have masticated and swallowed whole. I don’t rember eating any at lately. Are they moving?

Why is this happening to ? I feel intoxicated. I felt so brave for a minute a mont ago. Now I feel like I’m dying of poison and sickness and I’m giving up.

I tell them. I let go of the hand that turns black and yellow. I don’t understand what they’re saying. They try to hold . I try to escape but I can’t understand what I see anymore, nor their voices.

I’m powerless and can’t shake them off. I think I cried. They’re not letting go.

I faint. I’ve lost myself.

~

I hear rain falling, far away. I can’t move. I see nothing.

I feel awful enough to collapse again. All my body parts hurt. It feels as if my whole being had been turned to shreds, and each small piece tortured differently before being all sown back together.

I can almost feel the stitches in my sore flesh.

I realise that I’m on the verge of losing my mind for good. I’m really scared.

The dizziness softens a bit over ti. I hear the rain outside. The air is a bit damp and cold, but I’m neither. I don’t understand why.

I slowly realise that the darkness I look at is a crummy wooden ceiling. I’m lying on a bed of so sort, only I’m tied tight. I can’t escape.

Oddly, it doesn’t scare as much as the fact that I could soon lose my mind.

My sanity seems so frail right now... I don’t know what is important anymore. What is?

I cough. There’s a horrible sll coming from my mouth and everything else.

I see the little girl’s face above . I try to push it away but my body is caught by the ties.

I think she talks to , but I cannot figure out what she might be saying. I can’t really understand what my body replies either. She leaves.

I see her face again. She smiles. She smirks. Her eyes are strange. There’s too much blood in them. There’s the monster in her, using her, just there. She, It, makes a sign to invite to stay quiet.

Then the monster recedes in the shadow, still smirking with contempt.

What was that?

I’m waiting. A long ti, but lying down for a while isn’t so bad. I rest for a while when I’m powerless.

I think soone makes drink so water. Then I sleep again.

I want to survive...

~

A gunshot and shouts wake up suddenly. It’s not raining anymore, and there is more light around.

The girl cos to again. My body still aches of pushing her away instinctively. I don’t want to look at her sad face any second longer. Sothing awful floods my mind. I can’t prevent it.

She unties . The first thing I do is to slap her for no clear reason. She steps back, looking more scared than in pain.

I want to slap her again and again, but this ti I manage to control myself, barely, but I do.

I give her a half fake apology, though I’m still not sure of what I have occurring in my mind.

Charlotte begins to sob and runs away.

It looks like we are in a house that burned at so point before and was abandoned afterward.

Sothing moves in a shadow. I think I recognise her face again.

Her voice echoes through my head painfully.

- That was an of you mother. Oh that pain was so an of you...

I see her face in the shadows. Bleeding. Smirking. I rub my face and eyes with my hands. My head hurts as if it was burning. Why do I see her? Is this still real? Or just my mind? It’s not real...

I still feel as if needles were flowing through my blood, prickling everywhere from inside.

I feel furious. I can feel sothing disgusting growing inside of .

And I hate feeling powerless against this growth.

I need air...

I rush outside.

~