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Now reading: Chapter 149: Be Selfish from SSS Ranked Shadow Monarch: Summoning Infinite Shadows, a Fantasy novel by DepressedMage.

After his talk with Aoi, Aren didn’t get any useful information, rather he was left with new questions and a worry that clung to his chest.

He began wondering who had given information to soone that put him on the map of these people. Could it have been Gordon? Legion? But it didn’t make sense for those two to do anything like that to him.

Gordon might be the one in charge of the entire Raven City, but it was made clear that he disliked the major powers like the Black Dragon and the Floating Palace. There was no way he would send Aren to sowhere that belonged to them,

right?

As for Legion, he hated every other organization more than Gordon, and lived for his Adventurer Guild. What could he gain by telling anything about Aren? There was nothing.

All this weighed on Aren’s mind as he sat outside. The warm glow of the fire at the center of the circle illuminated his face, causing a shine in his eyes as he stared right into the flas.

He watched it dance from side to side, crackling loudly, the wood beneath it turning into nothing more than ash.

He was on a log of wood, and beside him was Kira, who had her head pressed against his shoulder, also looking at the flas.

"Aren," she muttered, pulling his attention and snapping him out of his train of thought.

"Yeah? What’s up?" he asked.

"I’m worried," she stated calmly.

"Hmmm? About?"

"Where we are going to. I’ve been thinking about what they could possibly want with you, and for so reason none of what I can think about is good," she said. She lifted her head from his shoulder and sat straight, locking her fingers together.

"I wish there was more I could do to help at tis like this. If we go there and they choose to harm you, there is barely anything that I can do to help," she said, looking downward. The breeze caressed their skin, cool and nice. It moved her hair to the side to reveal the side of her face and her eyes, a drop of tear forming.

Aren saw this. He couldn’t help but be shocked, but he looked away, acting as though he didn’t see it.

"When you faced that giant, I realized how easy it could have been to lose you, and it scared . I’m not ready to lose soone that is dear to . I’m tired of loss, and it scares to think you could have died.

Why do you have to be at the center of the risks and issues, Aren?" she asked, looking at him. He was stunned. She was asking a genuine question. She wanted to know.

She saw that he wasn’t answering, and then asked again, "Why do you have to be the one that takes on the main issues? In only a few short months, I have watched you take on more trouble and issues than every other awakened.

Each one pushing you to return to the person I t, the cold and detached you. It’s like this place is actively trying to override the months of progress that you have gained.

So I wonder, if you step away from the spotlight, would it make you safer? Would it ensure that you keep growing rather than going back?" she asked, looking at him and expecting an answer.

Aren looked at the flas again. A few seconds went by, and then he looked at her. He took a deep breath like he was readying himself.

"Kira, I don’t think it’s possible," he said, his voice calm and certain.

She imdiately looked at him with a confused gaze. "Why? Why can’t it not be you?" she asked.

"Because I need it to be ," Aren said.

She froze, looking at him like she didn’t understand what he said.

"Are you trying to say that you want the pain? The struggle? Aren, you are strong, but you might end up dead if you continue down this path. Please," she said.

Aren paused. The realization hit him. They didn’t know the depth of the struggle that he faced. They only knew what Shadow faced, not what Aren faced.

They didn’t know who he was and what he ca from. They didn’t know that he was under a constant threat of death from an angel.

He looked at Kira, wondering if he should tell her that he was targeted by an angel.

"Would she be scared? Would she stay with ? Would she despise because everything that has happened was because Elton wanted dead?

Kira and the others are the first family I ever had, the first people that lted my heart. They made care. It scares to think they could leave.

If they learned I was a ticking ti bomb, and if they kept walking with they stood at risk of death, would they still stay?

I’m scared. I’m scared to lose them, to be alone again in this domain. So for one mont of my life, I want to be extrely selfish. I don’t want to tell them. I don’t want to risk it. Even for a short mont, I want to be happy with them and not worried they’d leave.

I know they trust and follow , but would they really if I told them? I don’t want to find that out. I can’t lose them."

As those thoughts ca to an end in his mind, Aren was suddenly hit with another mory that he couldn’t rember.

He was lying on a bed, no, a flat surface. He could feel its tallic cold reach through the lab gown that he wore. He felt the straps that held his arms and legs.

He couldn’t see what exactly the room was like. All he saw was bright white lights.

"We are losing him!" he heard a voice say loudly.

"The hell do you an we are losing him? Don’t you dare allow him to die, or I’ll kill you and your family!" another voice bellowed.

All that ti, as they yelled, Aren lay there, and he recalled the state of pain that his body was in, an excruciating pain that almost killed him.

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