Save Scumming Chapter Forty-Six - Assessment

Chapter Forty-Six - Assessnt

I had to go back ho to pick up my sword and the book, which was a little annoying since ho wasn't exactly in the sa direction as Full-Auto Stranger-Danger. Still, it wasn't all bad. I took the bus ho, then a taxi out to Jane's workplace.

I arrived, bag slung over my back, to find that Jane had a few custors.

Our eyes t, and she smiled. Still, she was at work, so there was nothing for it.

I went around, looking at the clothes, then moved back to the wall with guns and gun accessories and started eyeing things there.

It was a solid twenty minutes before Jane was freed up, but then she was bouncing over with a signature grin on. "Right on ti. But I guess that's your whole schtick, huh?"

"What do you an?" I asked. Had she figured anything out about my power?

"Just saying." She shifted to one side, hand on hip. "So, two things, Beanstalk. First, daaaamn girl, you didn't go do shit by halves, huh? Been following the story online. Or as much of it as has made it online. Good job saving the princess."

"Thanks," I said.

"In and out like a ninja. No one's even sure you exist."

That was good. Though... I had wanted to create a good reputation for 'Deadline' and having my exploits in that guise go completely unreported wasn't ideal for that. Still, easier to be subtle and build up a list of good deeds than to possibly ss it all up. Besides, I was working on getting stronger. I was still on the bottom end of D-rank.

"Anyway, good job. I'm sure the princess is very pleased with you. You made bag off of her?"

I winced. "Not exactly. I was so deep into considering how to save her, that I didn't plan out a thod to, ah, collect any paynts for it. There was a bounty for information, but I don't know how to cash that in retroactively."

"Well, shit," Jane said. "Plus you're keeping your ID private, so that'll be tougher."

I nodded. "Money wasn't the only goal. So it's not all bad."

Jane nodded, but slowly. "You know that money solves a lot of issues, right?"

"I'm aware," I said. Capitalism hadn't died out, that was for damned sure.

Jane shrugged a shoulder. "Well, whatever. Speaking of money, follow !"

I did just that, following Jane into the back where she had a small office set up. Jane slid into a seat set comically low, then opened a small tal box. She took out a modest stack of cash and placed it on the table between us.

"Info-broker pal I know ca through. Paid all of this for that information on Bloody Violet. It's contingent on the info being real though. Now we need to discuss cuts."

"Cuts?" I asked.

"Yeah. How much I get, how much you get. It was your info, I'm just the middle-woman here. But also, if it turns out to be fake, it's my bouncy bubble ass that's on the line. Well, it's not that bad. Broker will want his cash back, and my business here can handle the loss."

"How much did he pay you?" I asked.

"Five hundred," Jane said. She waved the stack around. It really wasn't that thick. "It was good info, but in such a short ti-fra the broker wasn't sure he could sell it to too many people."

"Fair enough, I suppose," I said. "I've got more."

"Uh-uh, percentages first, Beanstalk."

I smiled. "Fine. Fifty?"

"Halfway split? That's generous," Jane said.

"It's not costing much to get it, so any amount in return is good," I replied. Two-fifty was... well, it wasn't bad. Free money, basically. And with so many interdiaries, it was probably safe-enough.

"Okay," Jane said. She split the stack. "Take it. Info will be confird one way or the other, but two-fifty is a loss I can sustain if it turns out you're full of shit."

"I'm not," I said. "I've got so more juicy intel, if you want."

"I'm all ears!" Jane said as she pulled out a notepad.

"So, uh, Thursday, there's a massive power-outage across a part of the outer city. Lasts until 3Am."

Jane blinked. "Oddly specific, that one."

"Yeah," I said. "And the mayor's been sleeping with his secretary."

"Well, that's hardly too news worthy. Isn't he single?"

"Yeah, it leaks, and he'll make a press release about it, owe up to it, and mostly plans on playing it off as unimportant. I an, to be fair, he's not cheating on anyone. But it does get played on the evening news. Kind of a slow week."

Jane shrugged and notted it down. "It's an election year. Probably so rival trying to fuck with him. Anyway, it might be worth sothing. I'll ping my broker pal about it."

Stolen story; please report.

"Cool," I said. "So, I got so goodies from the portal I hit. I need an appraiser."

"Oh!" Jane sat up. "One, I want to see that, and two, I got your magic paddle back."

"It's not a paddle, it's a weapon," I said.

Jane ignored to run to the back. She returned with a cardboard box, one covered in shipping stickers. She set it down and opened it to reveal my macuahuitl within. There was a folded piece of paper as well.

I grabbed it, and unfolded the page.

Item Assessnt – File 227-F

Object: Enchanted Macuahuitl

Recovered From: E-Rank portal

Examiner: Assessor R. Tellen, Guild of Applied Thaumaturgy

Summary:

The weapon exhibits two enchantnts:

Hemorrhagic Curse – Inflicts wounds that bleed excessively.

Consud Kobold Flesh Sensor – Emits a red glow near any creature that has recently consud kobold flesh.

Though low-tier, the enchantnts are stable and may hold niche utility. Secondary 'Consud Kobold Flesh Sensor' enchantnt is novel, but unlikely to be worthy of study.

Estimated item value: $1,800

Signed,

R. Tellen

Professional Assessor

I read through the single-page docunt. "A thousand eight?" I asked.

"Yeah, I can't tell if that's a lot or a little," Jane said. "I could try selling it, I guess?"

"Nah, it's fine," I replied. "I'll hang it off my wall."

She laughed. "Fair enough. You owe eighty bucks for that assessnt, by the by."

"Sure. Hey, can anyone walk in and get sothing assessed? I got two new items from the last portal that might be worth looking at."

Jane's eyes lit up. "I wanna see!"

I let her do just that. She handled the book... grimoire with care, told that it was probably worth ten grand to the right person, then jumped on the sword and started swinging it around.

"That could be dangerous," I said.

"I'm not stabbing myself. I'm stabbing imaginary enemies. It's different," Jane said as she mimicked so lunges with more enthusiasm than skill.

I took the sword away from her before she stabbed herself. Or . "I just want it assessed. I don't know about the book, but I think I might include this sword in my kit."

"Wait, seriously?" Jane asked. "In that case, lem take so pics of it."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I need your outfit to match, obviously. I know a smith. I bet he can make so little twirly tal decorations that can fit over a gasmask in the sa style as what's on the guard. Or like, a bracer or sothing? No, that'd ruin the look. A belt loop? Eh... I need to think about it. Swords are, obviously, very sexy, but your look is more modern-tactical babe, less fantasy stab-you-in-the-face babe."

"Will I need a new ID just to go with the sword?" I asked flatly.

Jane looked like she was actually considering it.

"That was a joke," I said. "We can maybe modernize the sword a little? The hilt can be covered up so that it's all one piece."

"That's an idea," Jane said with a nod. "Here, I'll give you the address to Tellen's place. He's a bit of a dork, and expensive if you want shit done fast. But he can do assessnts more... privately, and he's known for 'misplacing' the reports, if you know what I an."

"Thank you," I said.

"Oh!" Jane said as she sat up straighter. "I might have a gig for you."

"Really?" I asked. "Already? We barely talked about that."

"I know, but it fell into my lap. It would be sothing for this weekend, probably. Or early next week."

I leaned back, then got busy putting my things away. "I'm listening."

"You know how to ride a bike?" she asked.

"Sure," I said.

"Cool! You heard about that convoy that got ambushed on the way over here?" At my nod, she continued. "So, it had so stuff that was destined for a few shops I know. People wanna retrieve it. That ans finding the damned thing, though. We think that the drivers went off-route to run from the breach in the area. So, I got this old motocross and figured you could ride it around, try to find it first, then tag the location. If we get to it first, then... yeah."

"I don't have a driver's license," I said. And I didn't know how to ride motorbikes either.

Jane stared at .

And yeah, I realized how stupid of a complaint that was.

"I'll... think about it," I said.

***