As the dust settled down with her issue with , Setsuna-nee soon showed signs of calming down. She stopped huffing like a rabid dog and simply stayed silent not far from . We also stopped staring at each other. Only looking ahead to wait for Satsuki and Juri’s return.
Suggesting we look for them was probably a good idea but after thinking about it, we managed to settle our differences quicker than how I was expecting this to go down. She didn’t make it too difficult to understand.
Most likely, Satsuki and Juri also never thought it would be over like this. Although I probably wouldn’t say that the problem was resolved, it’s still better this way.
In any case, since it felt like we were swimming in a sea of awkward silence, I rested my back on the bench and relaxed my posture for a bit. Setsuna-nee glanced at but didn’t say anything. She did copy though.
And then, we both cracked a smile.
“Don’t copy , idiot.”
“I’m not. You’re the one who copied . Isn’t it relaxing?”
“Psh. It is but it will be more relaxing if Satsu-chan is here, not you.”
“Ah. I agree. It will be better if she’s here and not you. You do look alike but... I still prefer her.”
“What the? What do you an by that?”
“I an it as it is. She’s my girlfriend, no? Of course, I’ll prefer her more than you, nee-san. Am I wrong?”
“Ugh. This is why I still find you annoying. You act like you’re tolerating how unreasonable I am but most of the ti, I can sense that you don’t really care at all. I get it. It’s all for Satsu-chan... That one ti you did show so genuine concern was when we were here and you listened to ...”
Upon saying that, Setsuna-nee pointed at the peak of the other hill. Although it’s impossible to see that clearly from here because of the trees blocking our views, it’s easily understandable for . That’s the day we settled our differences. She also climbed to the peak to clear her head and when we found her there, she was already like a different person. And when we returned to the cabin, I listened to her telling that it was difficult for her to trust any other guy again after that incident in the past.
Was that really the only ti I acted genuinely concerned for her?
Yeah. Maybe she’s right. I an, my mindset about her was simply to get along with her because she’s Satsuki’s older sister.
And before that mont when she let go and promised she’d stopped her unreasonable grumpiness towards , she didn’t want to accept my apologies for teasing her or talking back at her.
Did that also influence how I never thought of apologizing to her for forcing her to stay in that room? I don’t know.
Ugh. I can also attribute this to how I’m mostly focused on my girls. I’ve never given that much thought about other people and that includes this woman...
Yeah. I will never be perfect with my imbalanced priorities. 90% are aid at those close to while the rest are split between other lower-ranked priorities. Wait, 10% might not even be accurate. Maybe it’s split to 95 and 5. In any case, that’s that. Thanks to her words, I was able to identify this flaw within .
“I have no defense to that.” That’s all I can say after concluding that long, contemplative overthinking.
“I’m not blaming you for that. I can even say that it’s great that you’re having Satsu-chan as your highest priority. Take my words here as my selfishness... Selfishness that’s also becoming annoying to my little sister.”
Setsuna-nee let out a gloomy sigh as she raised her head, her back firmly resting on the bench.
The sun was still covered by the clouds but it was still shining its rays down, casting the shadows of the trees to bring us to their shade.
“I don’t think Satsuki will be annoyed at you at all. Tired, yes. But that’s all. You haven’t acted that annoying when you’re alone, right?”
“Are you comforting ? But you’re wrong, I often bring you up when we’re together. Even to Ryou... I can’t help it when your annoying mug keeps on popping up in my head.”
Ah. That confirms what I pulled from Sakuma earlier. She’s badmouthing because I keep running in her head? That’s not normal, is it?
That sounds like she’s not annoyed by but by the fact that she kept thinking about ...
“Sorry, Setsuna-nee. I have no solution for that. Should I give you a photo of ? That way, you can curse at using it. You’ll stop thinking about after you vent out your frustrations.”
“... Idiot. What are you suggesting? Do you think I can’t get you out of my head?”
“You’re the one who said that, not . But is that not the case if we ignored the fact that you’re annoyed that it kept on happening?”
Her mouth opened and refused to close as a dumbfounded expression once again rose on her face. Sure enough, she’s probably trying to dig up her mories to find out if that’s truly the case.
After a minute or two, she clicked her tongue. She then straightened her back and raised her head to match my gaze.
With her narrowed eyes and a face that seed to convey her disbelief and acceptance, she said, “I hate to admit it but you’re right. I can’t get you out of my head.”
“Alright. I won’t say anything else but when does that start, Setsuna-nee?”
“I don’t know... I can’t recall. I told you. I can’t see eye to eye with any other guy apart from Ryou.”
“I see... So, is it safe to say that I beca similar to him in your eyes?”
Of course, we’re probably not the sa in her eyes. She’s comfortable around him while she’s just restless around . I don’t think we’re already past the part of seeing eye-to-eye. We’re just in a compromise for Satsuki’s sake. Or at least, that’s what I can assu after pooling in and evaluating everything that happened.
Setsuna-nee bit her lips. Her eyes seemingly started becoming shaky.
“In hindsight, yes. But not so similar. I have a favorable view of him. As for you... I don’t know.”
“Heh. Favorable view, huh? He’ll be overjoyed if hears that.”
“Nevermind! Let’s not talk about him. This is about you, idiot.”
“No. I think that’s also important, Setsuna-nee. You’re aware of Sakuma’s feelings for you, right?”
Important as in... I need to hear her thoughts about that guy. That way, we can identify what I am to her or why I beca a resident of mind.
“Of course. I’m not dense or oblivious.”
“And you don’t feel the sa way?”
“Wait. Why are you suddenly asking that question?”
“I told you. This is important. Don’t we want to find out why I can’t seem to leave your head?”
I pushed on. However, Setsuna-nee didn’t look like she wanted to give her answer on it. She’s probably still on the fence.
“Huh? When did I say I want to find out the reason for that? I can just shut you down.”
“Yeah, right. As if you can do that. Don’t lie to , Setsuna-
nee-san. Do you wanna hear my thoughts about this?”
“What?”
“You don’t have to agree with but I think you’re just conscious of . Maybe it’s because I hugged you to keep you in place back in that restaurant.”
Right. That’s the only significant event between us apart from her leaning on my shoulder weeks ago.
Setsuna-nee didn’t reply right away but looking at her expression, she’s recalling that day. Little by little, her face gradually turned red as it seemingly started to heat up.
By the ti her ears also took on the sa color, her hand swung in front of , hitting my shoulder with a weak punch.
I could hear her groaning silently but she couldn’t form the words to say. But well, it’s already written on her face.
I was right. Or maybe half-right. That hug didn’t just squander whatever progress we made, but it also threw her out of the loop as it’s probably her first ti in a while to be embraced like that by a guy.
“That needs a separate apology, right?”
“No... Just, forget about it. You apologized when I asked you to. You don’t have to repeat it.” She swiftly replied, dismissing my words. And although her voice sounded forced, it was probably because she held back her emotions from screaming out her bottled-up embarrassnt.
What should I do here then? Pray that Satsuki and Juri return soon? But if that doesn’t happen... Should I just give her so space? I have no idea. On one hand, I don’t think I have any solution here other than to wait for her to calm down and never bring it up again. But on the other hand, I also can’t help but have this urge to push her further – to help her understand what she’s feeling.
That’s a tough choice to make.
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