Sotis a little white lie is the kindest thing you can give soone who’s already hurting.
Tsuba put on a bitter smile. For a second, I thought she might cry, but she just let her head drop forward, hair sliding over her face like a curtain.
“...You’re really different now,” She whispered, voice cracking on the last word. “The old Ruki would’ve said sothing cold like ‘I only rember the important parts’ or not say anything at all.”
We were only together for a month but she had grasped my previous personality, huh? Or maybe that’s because I was truly like that every day. Anyone would get used to it.
I squeezed her hand a little tighter. “The old Ruki was an idiot. I’m still an idiot, just a slightly upgraded version.”
That earned the tiniest snort from her. She bumped her shoulder against mine, still not looking up.
“You upgraded to being cheesy, huh?”
“Mhm. You can say that. It doesn’t suit , correct?”
“Un. I prefer to be feasted upon those lecherous eyes of yours while hiding beneath your cold exterior.”
“Ouch. Was that how I was before? Alright. I bla my desire but then again, that’s still .”
Tsuba’s snort turned into a soft laughter that sounded more genuine. She finally lifted her head, gray eyes shimring behind the curtain of her reddish-brown hair. The bruise peeked out again when a strand shifted, just a shadow of red against her pale skin, but she didn’t bother hiding it this ti.
“Yeah... that was you,” She said while trying her hardest not to smirk at , “Cold on the outside, burning up the second you got your hands on . I hated how much I loved it.”
Hated it, huh? Well, why is expression different from hate, though? It looked like she wanted to go back to that ti. Reminiscing about the mont when she probably also considered as hers and hers alone.
The rabbit in the cage thumped its back foot, as if reminding us it was still there. Tsuba reached out with her free hand. The lop-eared bundle imdiately hopped closer, pressing its nose into her palm like it rembered her scent from years ago.
Of course, it was already a different rabbit but still, she got that ability to easily connect to them. If I were the one putting my hand in there, the rabbit would probably ignore it or worse, treat my finger like a treat.
Tsuba’s expression gradually softened, the sharp edges lting as the rabbit nuzzled her. Mhm. And here was the girl I rembered. Bright-eyed, quick to smile when animals were involved and extrely gentle, as if she found peace by petting them. Unfortunately, she couldn’t buy a pet of her own, so she was always coming here instead to look after the animals.
I had no idea if the old couple rembered us but considering they were not disturbing us, they probably did upon my arrival.
“...I missed this place,” she murmured, voice barely audible over the soft rustle of hay. “Missed how simple everything felt. Before I suddenly leave everything behind.”
“You did. But Tsuba, it wasn’t in your hands at all. I heard about it. How your father got transferred and you had to co with him.” I replied, my tone a little reprimanding as I pressed my thumb at the back of her hand, tracing the hard curvature around her knucklebones. “While you could’ve at least sent a ssage, I understood your decision. You protected yourself. I was the one who made you feel like you had to run, right? I ruined your relationship.”
“Yes. You did ruin it,” She said, her voice cracking. “... and you made every day better for . I hated to admit it. I was scared of what I was becoming with you. Scared of how much I wanted to just be the girl fulfilling your desire... You’ve written out your rule so clearly. That I was not to break up with him, otherwise, you’d stop seeing . That’s why... I...”
She cut herself off, biting her lip hard enough that I saw teeth marks bloom white, then red.
The rabbit nudged her hand again, impatient for more pets. Tsuba let out a shaky breath and scratched behind its ears instead of finishing the sentence.
“Well, I heard that a few tis already.”
“What do you an?”
“The girls... the girls like you. They ca back to . Not all, of course but those who also thought being with was better.” I answered honestly. “Now that I’ve stopped being a desire-driven maniac, I’ve taken them all back in.”
“...” Tsuba fell silent. Most likely, she didn’t expect it. After all, while she did show up at our doorstep before, she had no idea that I was with the other girls. Even last night.
“Crazy, right? I used to steal won left and right. Yet now, I started dating them all. With the intent to stay for as long as we could. Marriage included.”
Tsuba’s silence continued for quite a while longer. I don’t know. She’s clearly processing what I just said. Will she be disappointed? I don’t know. But it’s a lot better to get this out of the way right now. There’s no need to wait until I hear her situation.
Of course, if this makes her feel like she doesn’t have a place to confide in anymore, I’ll respect her decision. But then, even if I insist, I’ll get to the bottom of what happened to her.
Call it my selfish desire to atone for my sins towards her, if it’s sothing I can help her with, I’ll definitely do it.
The rabbit in the cage thumped its back foot again, impatient for more pets. Tsuba scratched behind its ears absently, but her fingers were trembling now.
The silence stretched on.
I didn’t push. I just waited, letting the soft rustle of hay and the occasional puppy yip fill the space between us.
Finally, she spoke with a voice barely above a whisper.
“...All of them?”
“Mhm.” I nodded once. “Every girl who ca back. And I’ve taken more. Not everyone is stolen though. I rembered the feeling of love but at the sa ti, I learned that I am capable of loving everyone...”
If soone else were to hear that, they’d probably look at in disgust. After all, that’s not normal.
However, Tsuba was different. She understood . Or at least, she’d seen through my obliviousness before. Even if I didn’t realize how much I cared about her and the other girls, she noticed it. They noticed it.
That’s why they ended up falling for . In the end, everything was still my fault, no?
A few seconds later, Tsuba’s hand stilled on the rabbit’s head. Her shoulders curled inward like she was folding in on herself.
“I see...” She laughed, but it ca out hollow. “So you really did change. The great Onoda Ruki, finally tad.”
“Not tad,” I corrected gently. “Just... awake. I was asleep for a long ti. Running on nothing but desire. You were one of the first who tried to wake up. I just didn’t listen.”
Her head snapped up at that. Gray eyes searched mine as if she could find the answer from the depths of my pupil.
“I tried?” She echoed. “Ruki, I ran. The second things got hard, I ran. I didn’t fight for you. I didn’t even say goodbye properly. I just... disappeared.”
“No. You protected yourself,” I said again, firr this ti. “I gave you every reason to run. I made rules that kept you chained to soone else while I took whatever I wanted from you. That wasn’t love. That was being a selfish prick.”
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