I let Tsuba feed the first bite, chewing slowly while she watched with those red-rimd eyes, waiting for judgnt.
The cake was the sa as I rembered: fluffy, not too sweet. The strawberry on top was already gone, of course.
“Good?” She asked, her eyes shimring expectantly.
“Mhm. It was perfected by the fact that you fed it to .” I answered with a wink, causing the girl who hadn’t seen act like this back then to freeze for a second. Her fork hovered mid-air as her cheeks flushed a deeper shade of pink.
Then she clicked her tongue, trying to hide her embarrassnt with a huff.
“Never thought you’d be such a flirt,” She muttered, stabbing another piece and shoving it toward my mouth like punishnt. “Open up. You’re going to eat half of this.”
I obeyed, letting her feed while I watched her face cycle through a dozen different emotions. Embarrassnt, relief, that old spark of mischief she used to flash when she teased about being too serious.
She kept feeding and I did the sa for her, albeit she’s extrely reluctant. But after the first bite, she withdrew her hesitation and enjoyed the feeling of being taken care of by again.
When only crumbs remained, I set the fork down and wiped the corner of her lips with a napkin.
She grabbed it from as if she was already too embarrassed and she couldn’t take it anymore.
Mhm. I get why I also kept her by my side during that month, she always had this precious reaction that was probably also satisfying so of my desires. After all, I used to revel in the feeling of having them betray their supposed special person.
“...Okay,” She finally said after gulping down her drink. “I’m ready.”
I pushed the empty plate and glasses aside and put my elbows on the table. “Mhm. I’m listening.”
Tsuba took a shaky breath, staring at her hands like they held the answers.
“W-where do I start?”
“It’s up to you. I’m only going to listen for now. So feel free to organize your thoughts. I’ll try my best to understand your situation.”
“O-okay... I’ll start from the day I left.”
She paused for a mont there, most likely trying to recall every relevant detail. Or just things that she wanted to hear.
“My dad’s transfer ca in suddenly. It was a big promotion. Overseas branch. The kind of offer anyone would have a hard ti turning down if they wanted to keep climbing the corporate ladder. He was ecstatic but he had been given only a day to pack and leave.”
“My mom didn’t want to go at first because of how sudden it was but she got convinced that night. They only told that we were leaving the morning after that. They told not to go to school anymore and that my aunt would handle the process of transferring to another school once we settled down at that new place.”
Tsuba’s fingers worried at the frayed cuff of her hoodie, twisting the loose threads like she could unravel the past if she pulled hard enough.
“I froze that morning. It got so dumbstruck at the sudden turn of events that when I ca to, we were already in the car, on the way to the airport. I still had my phone back then. I thought of calling my friends in class. I thought of calling him and you... But I couldn’t do it. You told I could run away if I wished to. It was another country. I thought I wouldn’t be able to see you again so... I left like that. Without saying anything.”
I let the silence settle after she finished, giving her space to breathe.
The old couple had retreated to the back of the shop, pretending to reorganize shelves that didn’t need reorganizing. Even the rabbits seed quieter, like they understood this wasn’t the mont for thumping.
Tsuba’s hands were still twisted in the cuff of her hoodie.
I reached across the small table and gently pried her fingers free, one by one, until her cold hand rested in mine.
“You didn’t run because you wanted to,” I said quietly. “You ran because you were a kid who got dragged. I get it.”
She shook her head, hair falling forward like a curtain again.
“No. That’s only half of it.” Her voice cracked. “I was... relieved, Ruki. That morning, when my dad said we were leaving the country, part of was relieved. Because it ant I didn’t have to choose.”
Her fingers tightened around mine.
“I was scared of what would happen if I stayed. Scared I’d pick you over everything else. Scared I’d let you keep like so secret side thing forever. And scared that if I actually fought for you... you still wouldn’t choose back. Not really.”
She laughed defeatedly.
“So I let them put on that plane. I told myself it was easier. Cleaner. That you’d forget in a week anyway.”
I stayed quiet. Because she wasn’t wrong about the old . I was probably angry for a day, maybe two, then moved on to the next girl without looking back.
Tsuba lifted her head and forced a smile, “I’ve never forgotten you. Even when I entered that new school, that new environnt, I could not stop thinking about you. Even if I made new friends, even if so boys also tried their shot with , I couldn’t respond to them. And that’s because I left the guy who wrecked my relationship and made feel more alive than anyone ever had.”
“I’m sorry.” I finally said and like earlier, it surprised her. I wasn’t one to issue an apology, after all.
“To think that I held you back even after you went away. I’m really such a bastard, huh?” I continued.
“Indeed, you’re a bastard. Yet, you’re the most genuine person I have co to know.” Tsuba giggled softly and then sighed again, “My story isn’t over yet though.”
“I know. You can continue. The hardest part hasn’t arrived yet, right?”
“Um... admitting that was hard as well, just so you know. I tried rehearsing how to tell you about it this morning. In the end, I still ended up not following what I prepared.”
“What? Did you plan to hide so information?”
“No. I planned on further guilt-tripping you.” Her lips curved up slightly. The gloom from her diminishing a little.
I chuckled and squeezed her hand, “Well, you’re successful. I now feel like I cannot stand and leave you alone after this talk.”
“Co on. Don’t simply say that... I’m already glad that you... ca to see .”
She turned her head away as her voice dropped to an embarrassed whisper.
Once she recovered, she resud her story.
Tsuba’s fingers tightened around mine like she was borrowing strength she didn’t have.
“My dad’s new position lasted for a year and then... it all fell apart,” She said, “The branch he was managing got audited. Turns out his second-in-command had been cooking the books for years. Dad took the fall. They called it ‘negligent supervision’. Stripped him of everything. Pension, reputation, savings. We ca back here with nothing but debt and a suitcase each.”
She laughed, bitter and brittle.
“Mom couldn’t handle it. She left. Just... packed a bag one night and disappeared. No note. No goodbye. Dad drank himself stupid for months. I stopped coming to school to try and find a part-ti job sowhere but no one would risk hiring a high school girl during weekdays.”
Her mom couldn’t handle it, huh? She didn’t want to suffer with them? Possibly. But then, that ans his dad was still trying to pick himself back up. Her departure made it worse. And now, Tsuba was implicated.
“When did you return?”
“April. Just in ti for the new school year. I enrolled in a school called Second High School. But I’ve only attended for a month.”
Second High School, huh? A school affiliated with our Fourth High School. Considering she only attended for a month, it’s already been close to three months since she stopped coming to school.
She waited for that long before reaching out to . Was it because she didn’t want to bother anymore? Or was she afraid to et again?
Possibly both.
I kept my grip loose enough that she could pull away if she wanted, but Tsuba only curled her fingers tighter around mine, like she was anchoring herself to the only steady thing left in her world.
“Second High School,” I repeated softly. “That’s... not far from here.”
She nodded, the motion small and stiff. “I know. I picked it on purpose. Thought maybe... maybe I’d run into you there. Stupid, right?”
“Not exactly. Unfortunately, I wasn’t there.”
“Un. I took it as fate telling not to keep my hopes up anymore. That you’ll show up one day and make the world brighter for again.” Her lips twitched, almost a smile, but it died quickly.
“Anyway. Dad... he couldn’t find work. The scandal followed him everywhere. So he started drinking more. And then creditors showed up. Said he borrowed money to ‘keep up appearances’ these past few months. I didn’t even know until they ca to the apartnt...”
When she reached that point, Tsuba looked down again as if afraid to continue.
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