"!!!" Ananta and Garuda were dumbstruck. That was true. The person in front of them might not be the original Nathan from this world or Nathan Reckmoon from Earth.
Instead, he was Nathan Reckmoon, the personification of the data of Nathan Reckmoon from Earth who had no choice but to turn himself into a familiar.
"I couldn’t help but think about this possibility. I know the circumstances could be different, and this is my reality, not a world within a novel. But all the stories from those novels... Some might be bullshit, but some have helped me a lot in this world.
"And among them, if we’re talking about reincarnation or transmigration, there is no such thing as a person being familiar. They will probably inhabit a body right away and bee a true host to that body.
"Now that I think about it, although I don’t really want to say it, I feel empty when I meet my parents in this world.
"I’m not an emotionless person. I’m full of emotions, in fact. Yet, even after experiencing the terrors of my parents on Earth as well as the warmth of the parents in this world, I feel empty. No anger, no warmth... It’s just empty.
"So, I can’t help but think, what if I am not real? I am just a personification of Nathan Reckmoon. I don’t know how many times I’ve restarted this fight, but this is the way to continue the fight without being branded by Azathoth.
"Finding the truth about the original Nathan as well as the brand allows me to reach that conclusion.
"In other words, I may not be the Nathan that you think I am. I might just be a persona created from Nathan Reckmoon."
They fell silent. Garuda, as someone who had been following him for quite some time, suddenly recalled everything that Nathan had done.
"Master..." Garuda gasped as if he had realized what had happened.
Normally, Nathan would talk to them about his insecurities or thoughts. Since when did he stop?
Garuda realized that ever since they returned from Erendtall for the first time, Nathan had pletely stopped.
No, it might be a bit earlier than that. It was after Nathan awakened the time domain.
At that time, Nathan used his power to peek into the original Nathan’s memory to figure out his current situation.
But that was the last time Nathan ever peeked into his former self.
After that, Nathan learned about the original Nathan through the journal Elysion gave him.
In addition, Nathan summoned Tiamat and presented her with the opportunity not only to summon her husband but also to grant her the chance to be fully reborn.
Garuda’s face turned pale.
"Master, you..." Garuda hesitated. "...have been enduring all this since awakening in your time domain? You learned about the original Nathan through that journal and promised Tiamat about rebirth...
"That promise to Tiamat... Is it truly a promise? Or is it actually your will? Do you wish to find the truth and discover the method for full rebirth so that you can bee the real Nathan?
"The feeling towards your parents, the fact that you’re a familiar, and even the lack of Azathoth’s brand... All of them are clues to reach that conclusion."
When Garuda blurted it out, Ananta suddenly fell silent. As the serpent of time and infinite possibilities, Ananta couldn’t help but consider this possibility.
"The infinite possibility is infinite because there is always new information that can be inputted, which will create even more possibilities. There are things that I don’t know." Ananta shut his mouth. After knowing this information, he suddenly saw countless possibilities born from this information.
It showed how big the chance was for this possibility to be their current reality.
Garuda realized that he had actually been a bad vassal. "You confirmed this fact after reading that journal. That was why you didn’t tell Selena and the others about your past from Earth because you were thinking you were just data, weren’t you?!"
Garuda’s body trembled. He never thought that the burden he had been hiding all this time was this heavy. It was no wonder that he accepted the marriage.
"Am I real? Am I not real?" Nathan looked down with a sad smile. "I don’t know. I got even more scared to face them.
"How could I tell them I was just data and a familiar? In the first place, the reason the familiars and their summoners couldn’t get pregnant even after sex is not because they’re from different races. The familiars are just data stored in this world.
"I, too, might be data stored in this world. Without a full rebirth, I might not be able to give Selena and the others what they want."
If everything was over, there was only one thing that Selena and the others wanted. Children.
But he, mere data, might not be able to give them what they wanted. It wasn’t that he didn’t want children because he wanted a resolve to defeat the black cell. It was just that he was scared the thing that bothered him the most might be true.
At that time, he wouldn’t be able to give them happiness anymore. That was why, after returning from Erendtall after defeating the Godfather, he matured. He showered them with gifts that would suit them and make them happy, worrying that he might not be able to give them any more happiness in the future.
Was he real? Was he not real? Even he didn’t know that.
"Sometimes, being a little smart makes you overthink. This might just be me overthinking my own existence. It can be just an existential crisis that occurs to someone who has just bee an adult.
"However, who can prove that I’m overthinking? Who can prove I’m real? Maybe... Azathoth, the reality itself, can give that answer to me. Though I doubt the idiot god can give me the answer." Nathan chuckled. "Maybe I’m just lying to myself so that I don’t have to be scared. After all, we’re going to face Yog-Sothoth and Azathoth.
"So, what do you think? Am I real?"
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