"My own existence sickens . I'm an undead stain on Dragonkind's honor. Worst of all, I'm a coward. I'm too scared of death to let myself be killed. I'd rather live in sha as a murderous Abomination than die as the noble Mist Dragon my family loved.
"From today onwards, I forfeit my na as Azith and call myself Raum. It ans nothing, which is quite fitting. From today onward, I am nothing."
Leegaain stopped reading out loud, pondering those words.
"I see. Azith must have run away for days." He said after a while. "His Abomination form appeared long after his funeral and far away enough to go unnoticed by the mbers of his Brood."
"His what now?" Aryk asked.
"Not now, child." Leegaain drew more volus to himself with Spirit Magic, flipping through the pages as though he were reading a grocery list. "I need to know what I'm dealing with."
The Guardian had already deciphered the code behind the position of the journal entries based on their chronological order, but he still had to scour through 40,000 years' worth of diaries to find what he was looking for.
Another gust of wind carried the trio on the other side of the bookshelf-wall, and from there it snaked through the library corridors, bringing them east and just below the ceiling.
"Year 1,201 Day 245
"I can't believe it took this long to beco an Eldritch. Even more incredible, I've t the thing wearing Leegaain's face for the second and, according to it, the last ti. That thing called a failure, turned its back on , and then disappeared.
"I finally know who it was. It was Mogar herself. I'm a fool for not recognizing her earlier. Despite her weird choice of appearance, Mogar acted exactly like in my father's bedti stories.
"I can understand why she's angry with , but her reaction is unreasonable. I'm stronger than I've ever been, and even though I lost my powers as a Mist Dragon, my old existence pales in comparison to this new form.
"The only real problem is the hunger. It never relents. It never fades. Even writing a few words requires to feed upon a hapless creature, or I wouldn't be able to muster my thoughts."
Leegaain ignored the ramblings about who and how many people Raum had killed and focused solely on the descriptions of his newfound Eldritch powers.
"Year 5,364 Day 12
"I now understand why Mogar was angry with . I've realized the depth of my foolishness. I've reached the limits of my Eldritch form, and there's still nothing it can do that makes up for everything I've lost.
"I've killed millions. I've slaughtered innocents. And for what? A white core still wet behind his ears beat so hard that I had to run with my taphorical tail between my legs. Mogar was right about . I am a failure.
"I don't have Spirit Magic, so it took a kid barely half my age but a few elental sealing arrays to rob of my strength. I don't have Dragon Eyes, so the only thing I learned from our fight is that I have no way to beat him.
"Gods help , I know this is just the first of many crushing humiliations to co, yet I still don't want to die."
A quick flight 300 ters to the west, 24 north, and 5,000 years of mad ramblings brought Leegaain to the first piece of his quarry.
"Year 10,940 Day 71
"What started as another day of mindless slaughter and feeding frenzy drove sane again. I just had the most wonderful thought. What is an Eldritch if not a living mass of energy? What is Forgemastery if not the art of giving raw energy form and purpose?
"What would happen if I Forgemastered the energy of my own body into pseudo cores? If I'm right, I have discovered the way to overco the limits that plague Abominations and Eldritch alike.
"If I'm right, it ans that Mogar was wrong. That even my father was wrong about my new kin. That maybe, just maybe, I'm not a failure."
"Year 12,147 Day 358
"I did it. I finally found a solution to my problem. Like most egregious discoveries, mine also happened by accident. I was extracting the light elent necessary for my Forgemastery experints from the latest batch of specins when it hit .
"Why consu only their mana and waste their life force and flesh? Since these insects have to die, why not use their miserable existences to the fullest? Sure, the use of Forbidden Magic is frowned upon by all sentient creatures, but so is my very existence.
"These insects will die in droves in a pointless war anyway, they might as well serve a purpose greater than the whims of a cruel despot. As the idea burned fresh into my mind, I imdiately tried to convert my Forgemastery spell into Forbidden Magic.
"It failed, of course, but it only killed about a hundred captives. Much less than I require for my usual tests. Rarely has failure been so promising."
Leegaain flipped through the tos, reading all about Raum's failures and observations.
"Year 12,691 Day 78
"It pains to admit that despite its well-earned ill fa, Forbidden Magic is far from an easy subject. Even though I'm researching relatively simple spells that require a feeble amount of energy compared to the crafting of the likes of a lost city, the number of sacrifices needed for my research is staggering.
"Each failure teaches sothing, but I also fail too often for my own liking. I understand that, unlike the crazy mages of the past, I work alone and for a good cause, but I can't help but wonder.
"What if I'm wrong? Even as a Dragon, the apex predator of Mogar, I consud only the lives I needed to feed my majestic body. My powers, my life force, supported themselves.
"They didn't need a constant flow of blood just not to fall apart. I'm starting to believe that I've never stopped running since the day of my death, and only my hubris kept from seeing the truth.
"My hunger is just a symptom of the chase. The people I kill are not for , but for the storm that's always on my heels. What I call 'feeding' is nothing but throwing bait at the storm to distract it.
"The life force I absorb trickles down to the storm, giving it the illusion of having caught up to . It keeps the storm from covering the last few ters between us and swallowing .
"Is this why Mogar was angry with ? Is an Abomination just a foolish creature who deludes itself to cheat death at its own ga? Many of my victims have called insane over the years, but this is the first ti I think they might be right."
Leegaain winced at those words, reading the first trace of the Azith he once knew in the endless records written by Raum, the monster who had taken his place.
'My son was lost, but not gone. At least back then.' The Guardian sighed. 'The one who kidnapped Zoreth and fought against is Raum, so there is no doubt how this story ends. Yet I need to understand how my son truly died.'
Leegaain abandoned all hopes for a happy ending and resud reading.
User Comments
0 comments from readers