She still got up to make him breakfast, but he left without eating it.
The empty living room felt incredibly cold to Su Xiaong.
It wasn’t that she hadn’t thought about confessing, hadn’t thought about honestly telling him, but even if she did?
Could she handle his reaction? Could she bear the consequences?
She was afraid, so afraid that at every thought, her whole body trembled, so afraid that every ntion felt like soone was tightening a noose around her neck.
It’ll be fine, she’ll be fine...
She kept hypnotizing herself as if chanting a spell, isn’t it said that ti fades everything, that ti changes everything?
Slowly, with ti, she would get better, she would move on, she would forget...
She only hoped Yin Shixiu could give her a little ti.
But ti did not change anything.
Yin Shixiu’s closeness still intimidated her, made her resist... and her reaction had a negative and discouraging effect on Yin Shixiu as well.
The angrier he got, the more cautious and fearful Su Xiaong beca, leading to deeper silence.
This kind of silence, this abnormality forced Yin Shixiu to pay more attention.
On the fourth day of sleeping separately, Yin Shixiu began rethinking. After erging from anger, he suddenly realized... how much Su Xiaong had changed.
She had beco thinner.
In just a few short days, she had lost so much weight that it frightened him, this emaciation made his heart ache.
Her complexion looked terrible, her dark circles were heavy, and she seed to drift when she walked, and her awkward smiles at him were ugly.
Unmoved, another thing that concerned him greatly was... her bathing ti was very long, and getting longer.
Sotis she stayed in there for nearly two hours.
On the surface, she acted as if nothing was wrong, even when facing his cold words and the fact of sleeping separately, showing no dissatisfaction or negative emotions.
Su Xiaong... was like a puppet on a string.
So fake, so fake.
At night, Yin Shixiu had a remote eting, ending around ten-thirty.
As was customary, he went back to check on the two children.
Shuangshuang and Huang Huang were not asleep yet, but weren’t causing trouble either, only making a fuss when they saw Yin Shixiu co in.
And Su Xiaong, leaning on the bed, had fallen asleep...
Yin Shixiu sat by the bed, looking at Su Xiaong sleeping there restlessly.
Since they’ve been together, there were rarely such tis between them, an unspoken cold war.
She was young but understanding and warm-hearted, and he always cherished and indulged her, unwilling to let her be wronged.
Therefore, even if there were clashes in their interactions, they would usually have a strong resolution, and it would be over.
"Girl... what are you sulking about? Eh?"
He asked softly, helplessly, reaching out to touch her face, his index finger tracing from her cheek down to her pointed chin...
His gaze followed the line of her chin downward, inadvertently... seeing the red marks under her pajamas, like she had been scratched.
His brows lightly furrowed, he undid her top—
Patches of bloodstains, new and old, not a patch of smooth skin, as if a layer had been peeled off, frighteningly.
Yin Shixiu’s heart suddenly constricted!
Seeing the scratches, abrasions on her body, he only had one thought: she was self-harming.
This realization hit him with a huge shock.
Like an iron hamr blow, directly striking his chest, deafeningly.
"No, don’t..."
In her uneasy sleep, Su Xiaong murmured, fear and panic saturating her voice.
Yin Shixiu didn’t dare wake her, just gripped her sleepwear buttons close, enduring his heartbreak while pulling the quilt over her.
"No!"
Perhaps his movent with the quilt was too sudden, and it startled Su Xiaong from her nightmare.
In an instant, her open eyes were dark and void of light, filled only with struggle and pain, sorrow and despair...
Instinctively, she pulled the quilt over herself, then slightly froze when her eyes t Yin Shixiu’s...
The chaotic emotions in her eyes were instantly masked, she swallowed, "You, what are you doing here?"
"Had a nightmare?"
He asked, lightly and naturally, casually taking a tissue from the bedside table to wipe her forehead of sweat.
The sweat soaked through the tissue instantly...
"...Yes."
She replied softly, then asked, "What ti is it? You... haven’t slept yet?"
"What nightmare did you have? Tell about it..."
Yin Shixiu didn’t answer her question and instead asked of his own accord.
Su Xiaong paused, her eyes instinctively avoiding his probing, "It’s nothing really... you should go to sleep early."
"Still want to keep sleeping in separate rooms?"
Su Xiaong paused again, raising her head to look at him...
Her eyes revealed surprise and fear, timidly watching him...
Yin Shixiu felt a pang of bitterness in his heart, he was her husband! How incompetent he must have been for her to conceal things from him in such situations?
He didn’t ask about the injuries on her body, nor did he press about the nightmare, just climbed onto the bed from the other side, leaned against the headboard, and casually picked up a book he had left there days ago.
But he didn’t open the bookmark to read, instead, pulling her hand into his palm...
Her palms were sweaty, icy cold at this mont.
"I rember the last ti we had a cold war was over that marriage contract. Isn’t that right?"
"After that, you ordered never to ignore you again, no matter what disputes we have in the future."
Yin Shixiu placed her hand on his abdon, holding it tightly, "I’m sorry, I forgot."
Su Xiaong’s heart suddenly tightened.
"I’m getting older, and my mory is failing. Girl, don’t bla , okay?"
Listening to him, Su Xiaong wanted so badly to stop Yin Shixiu from speaking. Every word he said only made her feel worse inside.
Yin Shixiu put the book aside and turned off the light, "Let’s sleep."
After he finished speaking, he lay down. Su Xiaong remained silent, and it was a long ti before she shut her eyes again.
But no matter what, she couldn’t fall asleep.
Every ti she closed her eyes, cruel and unbearable scenes played out beneath her dark eyelids.
She didn’t dare to sleep unless her eyelids were too heavy to keep open. Even when she’s reached such an unbearably exhausted state, nightmares still co as soon as she closes her eyes.
Yin Shixiu’s words deepened her despair and increased her sense of guilt.
What could soone like her still offer Yin Shixiu?
She didn’t know...so lost that even after days and nights of pondering, she couldn’t co up with a real answer.
Soone like her... Why should she still receive his tenderness? Why should she still be loved and indulged?
Why...
There was still no answer.
Su Xiaong knew she was in a terrible state, but she didn’t realize she was already on the brink of a ntal breakdown, her psychology had beco sowhat unhealthy.
Unhealthily silent, unhealthily persistent, unhealthily avoiding...
Naively thinking that this would make things bearable, naively thinking that with the passage of ti, everything would get better again...
She was the carefree Su Xiaong, soone who believed that even if the sky fell, soone would hold it up for her. She grew up this way.
Yin Shixiu would help her, the teacher would help her, her parents would help her, Yin ng would help her, even the man she hated to the core would help her.
But now, no one could help her. Except for herself, no one could make decisions for her, no one could teach her how to cope...
Like a turtle, she retreated into her shell at the slightest sign of trouble...
So, she just shrank into her shell, trembling in a space she thought was safe, thought was hidden from others, thought was free from harm...
She couldn’t sleep, and she didn’t know that night, Yin Shixiu was also sleepless.
Yin Shixiu had probably never felt so troubled and uneasy before.
Su Xiaong’s unusual behavior made him feel an involuntary fear. If it were any other ti, he might have sternly demanded the truth from her.
But she was self-harming, whether it started after he returned from the UK or even earlier, he didn’t know.
What kind of husband was he?
When his wife’s ntal and emotional state was in such turmoil, he was still coldly fighting with her over his wild guesses, ignoring her entirely.
He held her hand, not letting go all night.
Though she faced away from him, many tis she wanted to pull her hand away, but he would always move.
Yin Shixiu knew she feared waking him, so every ti she sensed him stirring, she would stop trying to pull away.
Early the next morning, just past five, Su Xiaong got out of bed.
After washing up, she brought Shuangshuang and Huanghuang to the living room, changed their diapers, and then went to the kitchen to prepare formula.
Yin Shixiu lay awake, listening to the slight noises she made, despite her efforts to be as quiet as possible.
He couldn’t deny that even with her issues, Su Xiaong still made every effort to take care of the children and him.
Before getting out of bed, he texted his secretary, saying he wouldn’t be going to the office today and to email him if anything ca up.
After washing up, he walked into the living room, and Su Xiaong had already prepared breakfast.
Bread, juice, milk, fried eggs, bacon... paired perfectly.
She took off her apron and said to Yin Shixiu, "I have early classes today, I’m off to school, Ah Su will be here soon."
"Aren’t you having breakfast?"
"I ate while I was making it, I’m off now."
"Do you need to give you a ride?"
"No need."
Su Xiaong waved her hand and left.
Yin Shixiu looked at the spacious living room, with him and the playful Shuangshuang and Huanghuang, yet it still felt terrifyingly empty.
Su Xiaong was indeed too important in this ho.
Sure enough, it wasn’t long before Ah Su arrived.
"Did the Young Madam already leave?"
Ah Su paused, "So early?"
"Yes, she had early classes today, so she left a bit earlier."
Yin Shixiu explained calmly, barely touching the food on the table, he only ate a slice of toast.
Ah Su put down her bag and started clearing the table while putting on her apron.
Yin Shixiu raised his hand to signal her to stop, "Ah Su, sit down."
"There’s sothing I’d like to ask you."
"...Oh, Fourth Young Master, please ask."
Ah Su sat opposite Yin Shixiu, responding with a smile.
"When I went to London for a business trip recently, was the Young Madam at ho alone all the ti? How many days did she attend classes? How many days did she take off? Do you know what she did every day?"
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