Surviving A Novel I Don't Remember: A Tutor's Guide To Staying Alive Chapter 302: I love Theo

Theo and Alias stood in the living room.

​The floor was covered in woven mats, and the air was cool. For the first ti in ten years, they were truly behind closed doors. A proper roof they could call their own stood by the window, looking out at the moonlit oasis, but his shoulders were tense. He turned to look at Alias, who was standing in the center of the room, looking around at the walls they had built together.

He had a lot of questions. Alias hadn’t been the only one thinking deeply about their physical proximity and the kisses.

He, too, had questions, and he could only get answers from the one he had been thinking about, even as he swung his axe and swung his hamr.

​"Alias," Theo called softly.

​Alias looked up. "Yes?"

​Theo walked toward him, stopping just a few inches away. The space between them felt charged, like the air before a storm.

"We’ve been kissing every night. And I’ve been holding you... But I need to know sothing. I’ve been thinking about it since the mont you let hold you."

​He paused, his jaw tightening. "Do you like , Alias? Truly?"

​Alias didn’t hesitate. He took a step forward, his hand instinctively reaching for the front of Theo’s tunic. "Of course I like you, Theo."

But it was clear he did not understand the kind of like Theo ant.

​Theo let out a jagged breath, his hands coming up to rest on Alias’s waist.

"No, you don’t understand. I’m not talking about the kind of ’like’ you have for a friend, or for Maya. It’s deeper. It’s a weight. It’s the desire to never be apart, to belong to soone completely." He looked down, his voice dropping. "It’s called love."

​"Love," Alias repeated. The word felt heavy on his tongue. "What does it an, Theo? To love?"

​Theo looked into those clear and innocent silver eyes, his own gaze softening. "It ans you’re my first thought when I wake up and my last before I sleep. It ans your pain is mine, and your joy is mine. It ans I want to be by your side for every sunset I have left, and I want to hold you until there’s no space left between us."

​As Theo spoke, Alias felt the missing piece of his puzzle finally click into place. The ’malfunction’ in his heart wasn’t a mistake; it was this. Love.

The realization made him breathless as a slow, radiant heat spread through his chest, and his face dusted a deep, vibrant pink.

I love Theo. He thought, and the phrase felt just right.

His lips were warmly curved.

​"Then... yes, Theo," Alias whispered, a wide, breathtaking smile breaking across his lips. "I love you." The words stole the breath right out of Theo’s lungs. "I want to spend all my days with you for as long as you live. I’ve never wanted sothing so passionately. I want you. So... will you let stay by your side? Will you let want you? Be mine?"

​Theo let out a breathless, disbelieving laugh. He leaned his forehead against Alias’s, his heart thumping like a drum against Alias’s chest.

"Is that even a question, Moon-boy? I’ve been yours since I was seventeen."

Alias nodded, a soft laugh escaping his lips.

"Then, Theo, do you love as well?" Alias asked, his soft silver eyes peering into Theo’s blue ones.

"Yes, I do. I love you, Alias. For every waking hour, you’re the one I ever think about. When I look over my shoulder, it’s your silhouette I wish to see. I knew it, ten years ago, that my soul was drawn to you, and since then, I’ve been yours."

The words made Alias’s heart do a freaking sorsault, and spread butterflies all over his belly.

"We both love each other," he muttered. "Then, what happens next now that we know?"

​Theo’s hand moved, pressing flat against Alias’s chest, feeling the frantic, racing pulse beneath the skin.

"There are things... things you don’t know yet. About how two people can be together and do things together. I want to teach you. I want to teach you how to be held."

​Alias looked down at the large hand on his chest, then reached up, taking Theo’s hand in his own. He pressed Theo’s palm against his forehead, his breath hitching as he felt the warmth of the man’s skin.

"I want to be held by you," Alias whispered, but then he realized that for soone to be a teacher, they need to at least know what they were doing, right?

​"Have you done this before?" He asked, his voice a soft, innocent tone. "If you are to teach ... You must know how it works, right?"

​The atmosphere in the room shifted instantly. It beca heavy, the silence stretching long and uncomfortable. Theo’s heart hamred a different rhythm—one of guilt.

He saw the absolute, shimring trust in Alias’s eyes, a purity that he felt he might stain if he spoke of the girl in the slums, the drunken night he barely rembered, and the ssy reality of his past.

He didn’t want the dirty truth of the Lower Ward to touch this house.

And so...

​Theo swallowed the truth, forcing his expression to remain steady. "No," he lied, the word feeling like lead in his throat. "I haven’t. We’ll... we’ll figure it out together."

​Alias smiled, leaning into him, completely unaware of the shadow that had just flickered across Theo’s face.

"I would like that," Alias whispered.

​Theo pulled him closer, his grip almost desperate, as if he could keep the lie from ever surfacing if he just held him tight enough in the quiet of their new ho, but the lie sat too heavy in his gut.

It acted like a cold stone in the center of all that new warmth.

He looked at Alias—so radiant, so utterly convinced that they were starting this journey on equal ground—and his hesitation doubled.

He couldn’t rush this. Not when his heart felt like it was wearing a shroud of guilt.

So, he would punish himself for a while longer for this lie he spoke.

​"I’ll teach you," Theo repeated, his voice a bit more controlled, more careful. "Step by step. There’s no rush, Alias. We have all the ti in the world now."