Surviving A Novel I Don't Remember: A Tutor's Guide To Staying Alive Chapter 52: It was definitely the pollen

After staying in that position for a while, the Duke still couldn’t understand his own heart. His heart thumped violently, and the flush he was trying to hide by keeping his face buried in Julian’s shoulder made him even more confused.

This was not like the ti when he got a reaction down there. There was no reaction this ti, and he had no such thoughts, but his heart wouldn’t stop thumping heavily, and he couldn’t bring himself to look Julian in the eye.

It was as if... He was scared.

He couldn’t et Julian’s eyes because he felt he would do sothing he might regret the very next morning, sothing Julian might end up hating him for. All of this was so confusing, and if soone told him Julian had cast a spell on him, he would very much believe it.

That was how dire his situation felt.

"Y-Your Grace," Julian called again. "I think you can let go now. You don’t... You don’t have to hold like this."

This was Julian’s attempt to get away from this awkward situation and try to sort out his own thoughts.

And to his surprise, the Duke responded like this,

"I don’t think I want to,"

Julian’s eyes widened, his pupils dilating as the blue reflection of the ferns shimred in his gaze.

He looked at the Duke, still resting his head on his shoulder, with a certain fear in his eyes. Not the fear of a predator, but the fear of a man realizing he had stepped into a trap he helped build.

’Why is his heart thumping so hard?’ Julian thought, his hand twitching against the Duke’s shoulder. There was no way he wouldn’t feel it when the Duke was so close to him. But Julian would very much like to defend normality rather than connect the Duke’s racing heart to him. ’Is he having a heart attack?’

The silence of the garden was becoming stiffening, and the only things Julian heard were the sound of the Duke’s heavy breathing and the distant sound of the palace fountains.

"You’re... you’re breathing very heavily, Your Grace," Julian said, trying to regain his ’Teacher’ persona. "Perhaps the pollen in this garden is toxic in a way? We should head back to the wing imdiately."

But the Duke knew himself well. He already knew what was wrong with him.

He had grown up in the palace, so this garden was one he was familiar with. Of course, he’d know if the pollen was what was currently affecting him. And it definitely wasn’t the garden. But could he admit it?

"Perhaps," he responded, his voice rasped over his soft, fallen eyes.

And then he finally raised his head, showing the expression on his face. He looked flushed despite his tanned skin. Even Julian could see this, and he genuinely wondered if the Pollen was getting to the Duke. But he wasn’t affected by it, though.

The Duke reached for Julian’s face, grazed his cheek close to his lips a bit, and Julian looked at his rough fingers that were dangerously looming closer to his lips.

"Your Grace?"

The Duke let out a breath that was half-laugh, half-groan. He finally loosened his grip, though his hands lingered on Julian’s waist for several seconds longer than necessary before he stepped back.

"Yes," Alaric said, his voice regaining so of its gravelly edge as he turned his face away. "The pollen. It’s... quite suffocating."

Julian straightened his shirt, his heart finally slowing down as he tucked the Moon-Fern into his inventory. He had both ingredients already, so there was no need to stay in the garden longer.

"Let’s go," the Duke said, already marching back toward the Jade Wing with his shoulders stiff, as if trying to outrun his own shadow.

Julian followed, watching the Duke’s broad back. He looked at the 45% one last ti before darting his eyes away.

He couldn’t understand it.

He didn’t know why the direction was heading this way. Why was the Duke getting infatuated with him? Why was the Duke getting... Closer?

They were both n, and yet... He gripped his wrist where the Duke had held for so long, feeling the lingering heat of his calloused hand.

He bit his lip, his forehead furrowing.

Yes, they were both n, but then how does he explain this ’heat’ that was slowly building up inside him?

He looked back at the garden shimring with a blue light... Seeming magical, and he once again fed himself with a denial fact.

"It was definitely the pollen," he muttered.

The Duke glanced back through the corner of his eyes, watching Julian as he walked sluggishly after him. He heard his mutter and then closed his eyes.

’Was it?’ he asked.

Even though he understood the feelings that were circling his heart, he still wasn’t sure.

Maybe after a drink or two, he’d be able to clear his head.

Julian scrambled back into the safety of his room, the heavy door clicking shut behind him. He leaned his forehead against the cool wood, his chest heaving. It felt like his hand was still clenched around the Moon-Fern, despite already having it in his inventory.

’405SP,’ he thought, his mind racing to the System shop. ’I just need the Pine and the Sun-Seeds now. I can make the potion tonight. I can finally sleep without waking up to that... madness.’

He was excited, feeling his soul would find rest for the first ti since coming to this world.

It was an excitent he could not explain, but it was pure and made him rush.

He was just about to pull up the translucent purple interface to shop on the system’s shop when a heavy thud sounded against the door.

Julian froze.

"Astrea."

The Duke’s voice was lower now, roughened by sothing Julian couldn’t quite identify. Julian hesitated, then pulled the door open just a crack.

Alaric stood there. In one hand, he gripped the necks of two dark green wine bottles; in the other, two crystal glasses clinked softly. Thanks to his occupied hands, he did not open the door on his own like he normally would.

Julian thought the Duke had gone to his room to sleep, but he actually returned with... Wine? Why?

"Your Grace? Aren’t you... going to sleep?" Julian asked, his eyes darting to the alcohol in the Duke’s hand.

"You said it yourself—you can’t sleep in new places," Alaric said, pushing the door open with his shoulder. He didn’t wait for an invitation, not like he ever did. He marched into the room and sat himself on the lush velvet couch near the fireplace. "I’ll help you. It’s the least I can do."